REVIEWS

3:10 TO YUMA

2007-09-10T17:43:00.001-04:00

starring: Christian Bale, Russell Crowe...
director: James Magnold
writer: Halsted Welles, Michael Brandt, Derek Haas (Screenplay) Elmore Leonard (Short Story)

date: 09/09/07
reviewer: clarkey
rating: 7.0

Westerns have never been my favourite genre, but there have been some outstanding flicks about the American Western frontier, such as True Grit, The Shootist, Maverick, Tombstone, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, Gunfight at the O.K. Corral and Open Range. Will I include 3:10 to Yuma in that category? No, I will not, but it was still a decent flick and a good way to spend some time. Also, it is always nice change to see a modern day Western, even when it is another remake.

Christian Bale continues to impress me with his acting abilities and his brilliant choices of roles and films. Now, for Crowe, I know he is an asshole off screen, but you can't deny the fact that the man can act with the best of them. Ben Foster was good as Crowe's right hand man, but I want to see the dude be a protagonist like his role in Get Over It. The secondary characters were up to par with the leads; include Bale's on screen son, played by Logan Lerman. Other stand-outs include the legend Peter Fonda, the big guy from Mystery, Alaska Kevin Durand and the always funny Alan Tudyk.

The direction by James Magnold was good, but nowhere near his Walk the Line brilliance. The shaking camera shots seem to becoming the new thing in Hollywood, even when the characters are simply standing still, talking. It works for some films, such as Green Street Hooligans, but in this film, it just got to be very annoying. However, the action sequences were pretty solid and made up for some of the misdirections. The script was pretty solid, but I don't know how true it was to the original since I have not seen the 1957 version. The last act, with emphasis on the ending is what I thought was the most memorable part of the whole flick and the reason why I would lightly recommend this film to people.

MR. BEAN'S HOLIDAY

2007-09-06T17:01:00.001-04:00

starring: Rowan Atkinson, Willem Dafoe...
director: Steve Bendelack
writer: Simon McBurney (Story), Hamish McColl (Screenplay)

date: 09/06/07
reviewer: clarkey
rating: 5.0

Mr. Bean is back and is on a holiday in the sequel to the Mr. Bean's first feature length film, Bean. But this time, replace Los Angeles with Cannes, France. Whether or not you like the Rowan Atkinson's infamous character or British comedy will determine whether or not you will enjoy the film. I love both, so I went with some expectations. Did I enjoy the film? To some extent, I enjoyed it, but would I watch it again? Probably not. Would I recommend people to see it in theatres? Definitely not.

I laughed throughout the flick and I found the film pretty funny; however, the film itself wasn't the greatest. The story was the usual vacation-gone-wrong and was extremely predictable and full of plot holes, which also goes for the whole part of Bean having to look after a kid after a mix-up in the train station. The character development in this film was pretty one-dimensional and even the notable actors were not at their usual brilliance (think Dafoe). Normally, comedies are not the best made films and usual have plot holes and lack of development. However, the laughs usually justify the lack of proper development of characters and stories. Well, that is not the case in Bean's Vacation. There are laughs, but not enough to cover up the series of plot holes and too many one-dimensional characters. This film is meant to be seen by Mr. Bean fans only and for some of them, they may want to wait for video or get the pirated version because forking over $10 for this film was a waste of my hard-earned money.

TRANSFORMERS

2007-07-10T19:20:00.000-04:00

starring: Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Optimus Prime...
director: Michael Bay
writer: Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman

date: July 10th 2007
reviewer: suj
rating: 6.2

The credit "A Michael Bay Film" isn't often seen as a favorable asset to any movie to which it is attached to because of its stigma of positioning the story second to the visuals, but I must admit that from time to time I kind of dig the man's work. He's your premiere go to guy for quick cuts, mild laughs, big huge enormous explosive action, and basically the guy just makes films that are nearly impossible to take your eyes off of. So, naturally when I heard that he was going to be directing the big screen adaptation of the beloved Transformers franchise I for one was soaked because what can be better than the combination of the king of explosions and big fucking giant robots?

Before I get into my whole spew allow me to preface first by saying that I had no problems with the transformers character re-designs and also that the effects in this movie and the big fucking giant robot action therein is fucking unbelievable, the effects house on this movie should win an Oscar, better yet, they should all receive sexual favors from one Miss Megan Fox - it's that damn good.

So, now on to my critique of Michael Bay's take on the whole transforming robot affair. I would say for the action set pieces with big fucking robot action, Michael Bay succeeded on all accounts, but for everything thing else it was a fucking abysmal mess. One can compare the story, character development (or lack thereof) and it's attempts at comedy to watching the complete first season of According to Jim while a big fucking giant robot with the face of NBA superstar Sam Cassell constantly kicks you in your reproductive organs. Is it that hard nowadays to have a fucking story, a fucking heart in our proposed blockbuster movies? It appears that todays general viewing audiences are just in it for the explosions and horrible jokes and that's just sad. It really is. And people wonder why were flooded with so much shitty movies.

Hollywood, can you stop raping my childhood. Please. You ruined Fantastic Four, Super Mario Bros, Double Dragon, among others. Must you ruin Transformers too?

It's a given that there wasn't really any deep thinking engaging heart wrenching plot to the original television series, as you had for any given episode, the Decepticons finding a new way to make energon cubes thus forcing the Autobots to stop them and or vice versa. Each episode would eventually end with a confrontation between the warring conglomerates of giant robots as they seemingly float in midair with blasters firing - soon the involved Decepticons would retreat while the Autobots welcome a new member who helped turned the tide of the battle during its last minute. With the simplicities of the series, what made it awesome was't its paper thin plot, but its characters and the relationships therein - you had the loving camaraderie among the Autobots or rivalries within the Decepticons, you had Starscream's constant desire to dethrone Megatron, you had Optimus Prime as an ethical role model. These were the key elements that made the show work and that made it more than just a picture show of transforming machines. They were characters with morals, conflicts, and desires. But alas the film makers decided to bastardize these key elements and head into the direction where the movie adapted its source material in name only.

I understand that they couldn't make a direct adaptation of the original series, it just wouldn't work and frankly it would kind of suck if they did do that. So, if you're not going to focus your movie on Optimus Prime, Megatron and their respective band of big fucking giant robots and instead lead your focus towards a human element, one would expect to have a good human drama with big fucking robot action spliced within? I actually like the idea of focusing on humans within the Transformers mythos; there were humans in the original series, but none that held central focus.

Instead of giving us an engaging human point of view that invloved the world of Transformers, the film makers decide to bring in all this meaningless boring government shit. Perhaps it's just me, but I don't want to see how the pentagon would react and deal with the looming treat of transforming alien robots. As good as the military action sequences were, everything that involved the government and the characters therein was just fucking stupid. We're introduced to entire groups of characters who do absolutely nothing in the film. For example, the inclusion of Anthony Anderson who's brought in as the only hacker in the world who can figure out the meaning of a mysterious signal the Decepticons sent out during an attack. But to get there we have to sit through a painful introduction to his character that is meant to be funny but lacks heavily in that department and ends up being time consuming. While we're on the subject of hackers, an entire group of them is brought in at one point and they just kind of sit there, with the exception of this hot Australian chick (Possible plot for sequel: Australian chick and Megan Fox in a big fucking giant robot orgy?). All of this business is just boring, a complete waste of time, and adds nothing to the proceedings.

They should have just held off on all the government/military nonsense for later on in the movie and have kept its focus on the heart of the film, that being, Shia LaBeouf's storyline - a story about a boy and his car that happens to be a big fucking giant alien robot. They should have started the film with Shia's Sam Witwicky character running towards his Dad with A- paper plainly in sight and eventually getting his car (without all the Herbie gags or windows shattering or Bernie Mac shenanigans). We watch him fall in love with his shitty beat up yellow camaro and going after the girl - the driving her home sequence is fantastic. We watch as Sam and his car spend time together, bond. Though, the film makers decide to go the way of "the freak-out / my car is evil" line of storytelling - it just would have been much better if we could have witnessed Sam enjoying the notion of having his very own Transformer, that everything is just fucking cool, then when everything appears to be copasetic you can introduce some Decepticon bullying action, which would lead to the conflict, the dilemma of warring factions of robots that have made earth its battlefield.

That scene where Bumblebee is being tortured by Sector Seven didn't mean anything because nothing had been develop between the characters yet, there was no relationship built between the two to warrant the audience to evoke a reaction. This was no ET being taken away from Elliot moment, though it was trying to be. It's as if finding out that one of the nameless Stromtroopers in Star Wars had cancer and expecting us to care. The violin tinged mood music and Sam's emotional distraught deposition was not necessary or earned because we were so busy trying to establish the jarheads, the Air Force One bullshit, the code breakers, and the hackers instead of creating that bond between boy and alien machine.

They should have used the ET model, the Iron Giant model, when approaching this movie where we have our hero create a strong bond with his alien/robot counterpart so that their lies an emotional significance when the government tries to take his friend away. Sam Witwicky is the heart of the movie; he's Elliot, he's Hogarth, they should have used those characters as blueprints to construct a story where a boy discovers just how vast the universe really is, bonding with an alien from a distant planet who introduces him to the hidden world around us. Then the boy is shown just how terrifying that discovery is when he realizes that it isn't just about compassionate robots but that there also exists an entire breed of other robots that are set out to destroy not just the boy's robot or the Autobots, but all living creatures. The film needed to escalate, not just with battles, but the ideas behind the battles. It's just pace and development, two of the simplistic keys in storytelling.

Perhaps the worst thing about this movie and why I distaste it so much is its constant onslaught of embarrassingly unfunny jokes. It plays like a Family Guy episode with crude jokes with no laughs. Bumblebee doing his best R. Kelly impression? Was that really necessary? There are just too many of these horrid attempts at comedy to even write or acknowledge. This is what people find funny? really? What the fuck?

Also the movie lacks in the "awe" department, not so much us the audience but the characters within the movie. Aren't people supposed to be surprised to see giant fucking robots existing in the real world? There isn't a moment in this movie where you believe people are really reacting to seeing giant fucking robots. In Jurassic Park or in War of the Worlds you believed that these people were really having their minds blown by what was standing right in front of them. In Transformers they say things like "It's a robot. You know, like a super advanced robot. It's probably Japanese" and you're supposed to laugh. It's a fucking giant robot for fucks sakes, be fucking astounded at what your witnessing it's not as if giant fucking robots are a commonality in today's world.

Futhermore, Would it be safe to say that this movie is also kind of racist? You see they appear to make the Autobot character of Jazz into a black stereotype with his opening line of dialogue akin to "Yo yo yo wusssuuup, Autobots. Represent!" all the while having him break-dance as he transforms. The kicker in all this is that the next time you see this character is at the end when Optimus Prime is casually holding his broken-in-half corpse like it was nothing. The only significant Transformer death is that of the perceived black character? Though, none of the transformers (decepticons specifically) were development as characters so it didn't really matter if they've lived to see another movie.

What made Batman Begins, Alien(s), Terminator, and other movies of its kind so good was that it wasn't so much about batman, aliens, and robots but Bruce Wayne, Ripley, and Sarah Conner as characters and how they re-act to their respective unreal situations. How they develop as characters to go up againt unimaginable odds. And that's where the writers Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman (it's not all Bay's fault) missed the mark, these were JJ Abrams writers, they wrote for Alias. I just expected better from those two. Why couldn't they just pace themselves in the effort to flesh out their characters to bring forth an engaing story so that when you bring in all the big fucking robot action it would be rightly satisfiying.

I wanted this movie to be all kinds of orgasmic glory of giant fucking robot action and a wicked story; it appears that it would only deliver on the former, at least that's more than most movies in Hollywood dare to give. At the end of the day Michael Bay's Transformers is essentially like a porn movie, just replace all the fucking with giant robots - it's all action, no story, and it appears for the majority of the movie going audience that's all they need to get by.

REIGN OVER ME

2007-04-26T12:37:00.000-04:00

starring: Adam Sandler, Don Cheadle, Jada Pinkett Smith
director: Mike Binder
writer: Mike Binder

date: April 2007
reviewer: Clarkey
rating: 8.0

We all deal with tragedy in different ways. Some of us chose to let it all out, while others bottle it up. Some of us try to laugh our way through the time of despair. In Reign Over Me, Charlie Fineman (played by Adam Sandler) chooses to ignore the monumental personal tragedy that occurred to his family on that fateful September 11, 2001. Instead of dealing with the tragedy, he opts to spend his time secluded from the world, playing video games, playing music and remodeling his kitchen. Whenever he ventures out into the outside world, he almost always has his headphones on and rides his scooter. Sandler’s performance in this film may possibly be his greatest accomplishment to date.

He played a very rattled and fragile character, and he took his ability to the very edge and really worked the role. His character was really interesting. For someone who plays primarily comedy roles, he pulled off a serious role with what seemed to be his own quirks and input. His monologue confession to Cheadle’s character is one of the best ones in years as it is one of the most heart-wrenching bit of dialogue.

As for Don Cheadle, he is his usual brilliant self. He is definitely one of the top actors working today. Liv Tyler and Jada Pinkett Smith were decent in their supporting roles. I have to throw some kudos to B.J. Novak (a.k.a. Ryan from the Office) for playing quite a dick, young hot-shot lawyer in the film.

The direction of Mike Binder was decent, but nothing to write home about. He played it pretty safe and conventional in his choices. The film is not meant to be very stylish; rather, it can be seen as two separate character studies and the relationship that occurs between the two men dealing with different life issues. One is attempting to break free of his boring life, while the other is attempting to deal with a tragedy, but choosing to ignore it. The script, which was also written by Binder, is pretty solid and kudos to him for writing a passionate, drama-filled story with strong, complex characters that gave the actors much to work with. The film does move a bit slow, but it works better that way. The script also adds some good comedy and light-heartiness in between the serious scenes.

The only minor flaw in the film is that it seemed to drag a tad too long. They could have chopped off the last ten minutes or so and beefed up some areas in the middle, especially about Charlie and what actually happened. We essentially only get one monologue of what happened to his wife and three daughters. But besides that, the film was wonderful filled with excellent performances by its two leads and a solid script. If you like friendship films, you need to see this film. If you like great character driven films, you should see it. Bottom line, you should just see the film because it is such a great film.

ROCKY BALBOA

2006-12-28T20:36:00.000-05:00

starring: Sylvester Stallone, Burt Young, Antonio Tarver
director: Sylvester Stallone
writer: Sylvester Stallone

date: December 22, 2006
reviewer: Clarkey
rating: 8.0

Nowadays, it seems like the theatres are filled with unnecessary sequels, trilogies and movie franchises trying to squeeze out every penny out of the market (examples include Scary Movie 4, and Saw 3). I’ll admit at first, I was not happy with the idea and production for another Rocky film. At the same time, Rocky V was pretty awful. I decided to play the wait and see game, but curiosity got the best of me.

The film is a solid flick. I didn’t ruin the franchise like I thought it might. It actually made amends for Rocky V and gives the franchise the proper ending it deserves. This time around, Rocky is older and settled with a nice restaurant that he runs. However, we learn that his beloved Adrian has passed away and he has been depressed about it ever since and on top of that, his son Rocky Jr. (played greatly by Milo Ventimiglia) is trying to get out of his father’s shadow. Sly was born to play the role of Rocky and nobody else could have played him. He was excellent even when he had his dramatic scenes and his simple words of wisdom were back on par with the original Rocky. My main problem with the movie was the character of Mason “The Line” Dixon (Antonio Tarver) played Rocky’s opponent for the exhibition fight. He was not like the traditional antagonists like Apollo Creed or Ivan Drago. The audience was supposed to feel sympatric towards Dixon, but it didn’t work the way they hope. A Rocky film would be nothing without Burt Young, who was once again solid as Paulie, Rock’s brother-in-law. Young also had the comedic lines that lightened the depressed mood at times, just like all the other Rocky films. Geraldine Hughes played the little girl from the first Rocky, who is grown up and a single mother. She was great taking the place of the female supporter in Rocky’s life, and her performance resembled the same one that Talia Shire did in the original.

Sly also did a good job behind the camera using almost the exact same shots as the first movie. I’m still on the fence with the use of black and white shots. As for the fight and training scenes, which what most Rocky fans wait for, were great as the originals, although they were shorter. The focus of the flick is on Rocky dealing with his hardships in life and trying to survive, while wondering if he still has it as the computer suggests. Another positive that I took from this movie was the paying homage to the original franchise with flashbacks (despite the colours) of infamous scenes, images, characters and quotes. “Screw you, creepo.” I loved it.

The best part of this movie for me is that it gave the franchise a worthy ending, but if the film does well at the box office, I wouldn’t be surprised if Rocky VII comes out next year. I know even Sly was not too impressed with the last Rocky and wanted to bring justice to its fans and for that I thank him, but please stop it here. If you’re a Rocky fan, you have to see this film and if you’re not a fan of the franchise, you should still see it because it is a good movie.

WORLD TRADE CENTER

2006-12-12T23:17:00.000-05:00

starring: Nicholas Cage, Michael Pena, Maggie Gyllenhaal
director: Oliver Stone
writer: Andrea Berloff

date: December 12, 2006
reviewer: Clarkey
rating: 5

Should this movie been made? That was the question people asked when the idea first came up. It was usually followed by is it too soon to make this movie? Should Oliver Stone be at the helm of the project, with his controversial self? Will it be a waste time or will it be a good movie that is respectable? These were other questions moviebuffs were asking before and during the shooting of this historical film.

The film did answer these questions for me. It should not have been made as it was way too soon (I mean five years is not that long of a time) and if you’re going to make a movie like this, please put forth a better effort. A movie like this was supposed to inspirational and emotional, but it lacked any meaningful substance. I haven’t decided to blame Oliver Stone or the whole production crew or the cast, whom many seemed to be going through the motions. The one bright area of the film was the always lovely Maggie Gyllenhaal, who was excellent to watch as the young wife of one of the men trapped underneath the rumble that was the World Trade Center. The actors seemed to be playing it safe and not taking anything chances. It was also quite dry and seemed almost meaningless, especially the dialogue that transpired between Nicholas Cage and Michael Pena’s characters as they were trapped. And can someone please tell me the point of Michael Shannon’s character, who is never truly introduced, except as an ex-Marine in a different state, who quits his job, shaves his head and goes to New York City to play hero. The character, whether it was based on a real person or not, seemed so unnecessary.

Although, the film felt like a made for TV movie with a big budget, it did have its moments. I did enjoy the scenes that had Pena and Gyllenhaal’s characters wanted to name their expected child the name the other chose. And there were heartfelt scenes, such as a mother breaking down and crying over the fact that her son hadn’t been found yet. Stone played it safe, usually some conventional styles of shots and directions, but in the end, it did not help the overall picture. Simply put, this film should not have been made so soon after the devasating actions of that fatal day five years ago. Tragedy of this magnitude should be left to memorials and prayers to those who lost loved ones in the attacks.

AN INCOVENIENT TRUTH

2006-12-12T23:14:00.000-05:00

starring: Al Gore
director: Davis Guggenheim

date: December 12, 2006
reviewer: Clarkey
rating: 7.5

Documentaries have been a crucial part of the film industry since the invention of the video camera. Lately, documentaries seem to be everywhere and on everything imaginable and made by everybody, even ex-Vice Presidents of the United States of America. That’s right; Al Gore made a documentary about something that is very personal to him: the issue of global warming and the lack of the action to prevent it from causing devastating damage to the world.

Unlike some of the modern day documentaries, this one is a more traditional form of documentaries (a.k.a. the boring ass ones that teachers you make you watch in school). However, Gore doesn’t care about spicing it up. He simply wants to get his message out there. The film is divided into two parts. First, it takes you into one of Gore’s presentations. Secondly, it follows Gore around in his travels, while Gore reveals his motivation behind the project. Apparently, he has been stating his case for the effects of global warming since the 70s.

He uses stats that most of us know or have a good idea about global warming and its consequences. Most of what he was stating I heard in my natural science course. So, it wasn’t shocking news to me that the humans (mainly North Americans) are destroying the environment that we call Earth. However, Gore takes a political stance on the issue and shows the viewer how the politicians are ignoring the issue of global warming and continue about their business in its harming way without a care in the world. That was the thing that shocked me the most. Although, I should have figured that the neo-liberal governments of the contemporary world leaders wouldn’t want to put anything in the way of their profit making.

Although, this documentary is not as lively as some of the other ones out there, I strongly recommend that everyone see this movie. Ignoring the issue will not make it go away, as Gore states and it is important that masses see the flick and get at least one thing out of it. Hopefully, that one thing they get out of it is the need to act to get some changes done, either politically or environmentally.

THE DEPARTED

2006-10-07T23:07:00.000-04:00

REVIEW PLACEHOLDER

REVIEW TO BE POSTED VERY SOON.

GRIDIRON GANG

2006-10-03T20:44:00.000-04:00

starring: the rock, xzibit, leon rippy...
director: phil joanou
writer: jeff maguire and jac flanders

date: 10/02/06
reviewer: Clarkey
rating: 7.5

There is a simple formula that was used to create this movie: take the football scenes from Friday Night Lights, and the gangs and street violence issues of Boyz ‘N the Hood with a touch of the predictability of the Little Giants, and you got yourself the latest football movie based on a true story. The story was good, don’t get me wrong. It was inspiring, (well if it wasn’t then it would’ve been made into a movie). However, it’s the same underdog sports story that has become redundant in the last few years. The criminals who nobody gives a chance because they could never work together as a team become a team by the halfway point and turn their season around in time to make the playoffs. This film is almost like a juvenile version of The Longest Yard, except they don’t play the guards or teachers (well there is one scene). Although predictable, the story was inspiring enough not to hate the whole movie.

There were many positives in this film, including the performance of Dwayne Johnson, a.k.a. The Rock, who delivers in my mind his best performance to date. He becomes Sean Porter, who was the man behind this amazing story. Johnson also shows us that he can act in a non-action flick. Most people know that it is a pet peeve when rappers or singers try to act, but Xzibit has proved me wrong and was solid in the film, although his character didn’t really have much range. As for the kids who made up the team, they were good, especially the little guy who played Bug and the dude that played Junior. Also, props go to L. Scott Caldwell (better known to many of us as Rose from Lost) who was great as Sean’s dying mother.

Now to the good stuff: the football scenes. They were awesome. I would rank them right up there with Friday Night Lights. Everybody in the theatre will feel the hits, just like the players. The scenes put the audience right into the games and will knock them on their asses. The training scenes were decent, but have been done better before (i.e. Remember the Titans and Rudy).

Despite the predictability factor of the story, this film has the heart to make it as a good movie with a great lead performance by The Rock, great football scenes and a truly inspiring story. Everybody should see it for the inspirational themes, but fans of The Rock or football, should definitely see it.

COBRA STARSHIP

2006-10-01T18:34:00.000-04:00

"WHILE THE CITY SLEEPS
WE RULES THE STREETS"

review date: 10 / 01 / 06

rating: 9.7

written by: Suj

I’m still a firm believer that Midtown’s Forget What You Know is one of the best rock records of the last 20 years. And if you’re scratching your head, wondering and pondering to yourself at my proclamation and to also surely wikipedia’ing who the fuck Midtown is, it would appear to me that I may in fact be the only one who believes this reviews opening statement. Nevertheless, after the untimely demise of Midtown its frontman Gabe Saporta set off into the mountains for a session of soul-searching with intentions to craft together a collection of songs that would be able to bring new life to a dying party. And now, under the moniker of Cobra Starship, Mr. Saporta has done just that with the record entitled While the City Sleeps, We Rule the Streets where he shouts from afar to pull up your dance pants, put on your tapping shoes, strike up the band, pull your partner close to you and let the music decide the night.

“Being From Jersey Means Never Having to Say you’re Sorry” kicks off the album by serenading your speakers, steady and slowly, scratchy and somber as Saporta talks about success and how one can be enwrapped with in it while dying a slow death. If this were a movie this would be the point where we meet our young protagonist, a beloved loser, pining over the girl of his dreams, and too preparing for the high school dance. Cut to the gymnasium, blue tuxedo, charismatic smirk, hair slicked back. He spots her from afar and she’s dangerously beautiful. He takes steps towards her, there face to face; she lets out a smile as our bashful hero spouts out a muffled request to hit the dancefloor, she obliges. “Send My Love To The Dancefloor I'll See You In Hell (Hey Mister DJ)” becomes the anthem to the newly introduced couples first dance. The track in of itself is a sparring definition of a dance hymn. It’s the type of song, where you want to have your lady close to you, hips engaged, and both knowing that this moment on the dancefloor is complete bliss.

“The Church Of Hot Addiction” is a song that would have our hero and his lady, rushing over to a nearby motel. Underage and naughty, both ready to take the leap. They’ve known each other for years; both loved each other from afar, and both experiencing the initial confrontation of love. The song is truly naughty and filthy, not in all contexts of the words, but within its dirty guitar licks and Saporta proclaiming that he is the “drug you cannot deny”, its fucking body in motion coolness. “The Kids Are All Fucked Up” would have our fictional movie protagonist and his newly non-virginal female counterpart, waking up from the blissful night of past and realizing the beauty of their love, and knowing that when together they rule the streets. The song is a soothing ballad.

“It's Warmer In The Basement” is a killer track, it’s dangerous and poetic. Within the confines of our fiction movie, this would be the point where our hero sees his love making out with the captain of the football team. Emotions overflow. He thought what they had was love, but in the end all she wanted to do was see him cry, a danger she is. “Keep It Simple” is a song that will have its hook inserted into your brain as you walk down the street. It’s a catchy dance track that would find our hero not giving up on his pseudo-love as he throws down Lloyd Dobler devotional antics. Making her realize that what she is feeling inside is okay, to not deny it, that its love, a Romeo and Juliet level of love.

“It's Amateur Night at the Appollo Creed” is the counterpart to church of hot addiction as it too is naughty and dirty in its rhythmic punch. As Saporta asks to “speed it up” our hero spouts out lines and his love eats them all up until they share a reunited kiss atop a hill with the moon cascading over them. “Bring It (Snakes on a Place)” becomes the couples reunion jam, fireworks and snakes galore. I really don’t have to say much about this song as everybody who has fallen victim to the greatness of the Sam Jackson epic know the songs greatness. “The Ballad of Big Poppa and Diamond Girl” is about the Notorious B.I.G. and Lil’ Kim, and perhaps the most chill song on the album. It’s a relaxing song that finds Saporta dropping a verse in Spanish to utter delight. In this reviews fictional movie this would be the moment where our burgeoning couple take a dip into sexual seconds.

“Pop Punk Is Sooooo '05” is summed up in its title as Saporta talks about the scene and the money hungry labels. What starts off with a typical pop-punk guitar riff soon turns into rock anthem with a fucking killer piano break down that brings chills as the music suddenly stops and then quickly rocks into the closing chorus. “You Can't Be Missed If You Never Go Away” is a swirling song of potent thoughts where Saporta talks about a lost love. It’s a fantastic closer, powerful even. And within this reviews sordid fictional movie this would be the part where many years have past and we find out that the two have broken up when they sought it to be difficult to engage in a long distance relationship at their respective colleges. Flash foreword several more years, our hero is an old man, never married and living in a quiet suburb. He’s reading his mail, a piece of paper falls from his hand as the words he had just read brings tears to his eyes. A sense of lost overwhelms him. The letter pertains to a funeral where his presence has been requested. Fade to black.

If you have made it this far, I would like to apologize for my non-ability to write short and to the point reviews and also for making you read a senseless cinematic metaphor for each song. So, to end this review I will say that the Cobra Starship album is wrapped with an arsenal of angular guitars, synth-beats, and an overall slick production that begs you, pleads to you to run down to your basement, dig out your 80s paraphernalia, and then make your way into the city knowing damn well that you look good and dancing in the streets is all that matters. Catchy hooks, hip vibrations, constant smiling, brooding bravado, and tongue nicely placed in cheek. This is a fun album, and that’s really what music should be all about.

THE LAST KISS

2006-09-19T13:23:00.000-04:00

starring: zach braff, jacinda barrett, rachel bilson...
director: tony goldwyn
writer: paul haggis, gabriele muccino (source material)

date: 09/19/06
reviewer: Suj
rating: 8.6

The Last Kiss is an honest look into what a relationship is all about. It’s never easy, the answers are not always there, and relationships are often always a tough business. Don’t go into this movie thinking it’s going to be one of those happy-go-lucky date movies, because its not and while watching it you’ll come to know how heavy the material actually gets. I was lucky enough to have seen this films original source material, L'ultimo bacio, a 2001 Italian film, which I might add is a wonderful movie in it of itself. The Last Kiss is essentially made up of its source material, remade with young Hollywood standing present, though there is one fundamental difference and its in that instance that sets it apart and perhaps even surpasses its originator.

The movie begins as an ensemble piece about a handful of long-time friends turning 30, all in various stages of their respective relationships. Chris is married with a child, though he is hopelessly miserable. Kenny is single and does not want to grow up and possess a very active sex life. Izzy has just broken up with his long time girlfriend while his father is nearing the brink of death. And finally we have our protagonist, Michael, played by Zach Braff who is engaged to the beautiful Jenna played wonderfully by Jacinda Barrett, who is several months pregnant. To everyone their relationship appears to the happiest of its kind, with a promising future together. But at a mutual friends wedding, Michael engages in a light flirtation with college girl Kim played by sexpot Rachel Bilson, and as the film progress this flirtation turns into bad decisions.

Zach Braff is marvelous in this film. His character isn’t someone who is always looking to see what lies on the road less traveled. He's a man very much afraid that he can clearly see how the rest of his life will turn out. With a baby on the way, his path seems laid out before him, and it terrifies him. The agonizing he goes through is all on his face and in his actions, it feels real. It’s an honest performance of a man sorting through life, wanting change, but too wanting everything to stay the same. This kid has got some talent.

Really, all the performances are quite good here. Though perhaps, the standouts are that of Tom Wilkinson and Blythe Danner who play the parents of Jacinda Barrett’s character who have been married for 30-plus years. Wilkinson plays a man who doesn’t often wear his emotions on his sleeve, where Danner just wants him to show an emotion. She tries to evoke emotion by exploding at him, making him feel guilty or jealous, though you can see these games have an effect on him, but he’s always internalizing. It’s a bewildering showcase this part of the film is, and it should be a given considering the talent behind these characters.

The best thing about this movie is that it turns on you by becoming an exceedingly uncomfortable of a film to watch. The emotions come bursting out like an enormous mushroom cloud of tears and fears. Everyone's emotions are spread out before you on the screen, and it is not always a pretty site. It makes you squirm, especially the scene in which you just want to scream out “Don’t do It” to Braff’s character. And this is the instant where The Last Kiss differs from its originator, the one fundamental difference I had alluded to earlier. It’s a scene where everything seems to be tied up nicely in a knot, but then Braff’s character spouts out information that brings everything crashing down. It’s a heartbreaking scene.

Everything between Braff and Barrett are golden, whether it be the comical instances or the emotion turmoil being brought, where we see their faces enwrapped with feelings, not knowing what the future will hold. It’s just wonderful performances. Perhaps the film’s most poignant moment involves an uneasy conversation between Wilkinson and Braff about the nature of marriage; it’s an introspective look at perspective. Actually it’s either that moment or the moment where Bilson takes it off and where I later find myself heading to the washroom to relive some tension. Both are very much so poignant on two entirely different levels.

Director Tony Goldwyn and writer Paul Haggis refuse to cave to formula, and they allow these characters to screw up their lives or for some to take their screwed up lives back. I treasure the sense of honesty depicted here; not everyone is allowed a fairy tale ending to their story, and some are even left with a big fat question mark, as it should be. This film really is an unexpectedly challenging and thought-provoking piece of filmmaking that takes temptation and matrimonial anxiety so seriously and so selfishly.

The Last Kiss is movie about relationships, forgiveness, and the absolute nature of love. It’s honest, it’s real, or at the least that’s how I perceive it, because life is hard and a relationship is an extension of life. The film enables us to feel its impact by capturing the sheer terror of getting that first glimpse into your future. By bringing us to a crossroad, to make decision of whom we want to be. There are characters here that have absolutely no clue on what to do, their futures are just one long ellipsis and this scares them as much as those who can see their endpoint. There is humour in this movie as much as there is humour in the lives that we live, we are able to laugh and feel happy. But with a smile there always comes the frown, and this movie brings its characters to face the facts of life steeped in emotional tension, to fear their decisions. And with its ambiguous ending, you come to realize that this is indeed life, in its truest form. It’s a movie, but it feels authentic.

LUPE FIASCO

2006-09-18T22:43:00.000-04:00

"FOOD & LIQUOR"

review date: 09 / 18 / 06

rating: 9.6

written by: Suj

I’m no Hip-Hop aficionado. I’ve listen to the genre from time to time listening to some of the greats: Chuck D, Biggie, Jay-Z, Tupac, KRS-ONE, to name a few. Though, it appears nowadays that the lush poetry spouted from the aforementioned has been lost and the genre itself became saturated with cliché. All the acts seem to be rapping about and showing in their videos the exact same thing. Whether it is how gangster they are, or how much money they have, or how bad they’ve had it growing up, all the while having flashy jewelry hanging from their necks and dozens of woman shaking what their mother gave them. It’s not the same, it appears its all about making money, and the art of rhyme has evolved into the art of selling-out.

Enter, Lupe Fiasco. Shall we dub him the “Savior of Hip-Hop?” Absolutely. He’s a breath of fresh air, a dawning of a new era, a lyrical poet that flows. When I first heard the leaked version of Food & Liquor, I was taken back by its sheer greatness. I found myself falling in love with this genre that I lost faith in many years ago. The album was just brilliant, plain and simple. Unfortunately, this leak resulted in the record label pushing back the release date, and enabling Lupe to re-tool the album for the better, if that was even possible. How can one make better, perfection? Well, it appears you can in case of the newly re-tooled Food & Liquor.

This newly constructed album from top to bottom is the best thing going for this scene. Listening to it you get the feeling that you’re in for something unique, something special. As the album progresses you being feel that you’re part of something that will bring change, something new and fresh, simply put, something astonishing. And that is what this album is all about, its here to astonish, and it doesn’t miss its target.

It all begins with “Intro” where you have a woman rocking spoken word poetry on what feels like a street corner, which smoothly switches to a beautiful instrumental where Lupe talks about his philosophy on life and provides a deeper meaning behind the title of the album. Then like an explosion the track “Real” comes sweeping into your speakers where Lupe is dropping jewls with such precision that right then and there you know this kid is a new breed. There is so much diversity on this album and its made more relevant in the track “The Instrumental” where we are just taken on a whole new level; just listen to it and you’ll know exactly what I mean. On this album, the kid just has this innate ability to tell unbelievable stories that stick with you long after you’ve stopped listening. On “American Terrorist” Lupe breaks down the woes of society and the underling truth of what’s really going on, “He Say, She Say” speaks of a struggling child growing up with no father figure. This song is really chill. The whole album is this one big novel filled with intriguing chapters that you just want to re-read every chance you get.

With all the hype Lupe Fiasco has received, its undeniable here that he’s lived up to it. This album may very go down as a classic. This is a prime example of what hip-hop should be all about. It’s about telling a story, a story with substance and meaning. This album is a true testament that you don’t have to run with the norm of ignorant gun toting, drug selling rap. Sound the alarm, cause Lupe Fiasco is about to blow up.

THE FOUNTAIN

2006-09-17T23:51:00.000-04:00

starring: hugh jackman, rachel weisz, ellen burstyn...
director: darren aronofsky
writer: darren aronofsky

date: 09/17/06
reviewer: Suj
rating: 10

A swirling epic, a burgeoning take on romanticism, and a fine look into devotion is the essential make-up of Darren Aronofsky’s The Fountain. It’s simply too early to call this film a masterpiece, ah fuck it, this movie is a masterpiece because of it’s sheer elegant beauty in both its visual appearance and storytelling. It’s a human science-fiction story told it such a heart-breaking manner and showcased on a pedestal of visual perfection that you can’t bare not fall to the floor, ultimately touched by what you’ve just witnessed and asking yourself if this kind of love can exist, if it can live and go on forever.

The Fountain isn’t for everyone. There will be some, perhaps many that will simply not understand the movie. Though, stripped of everything, Darren Aronofsky’s romantic epic is really quite simple. It’s about a woman who is dying and she’s scared about dying, and handles this fear by writing a book. It’s about man who loves this woman, searching desperately to find a cure to save this woman, this woman who means everything to him. Ultimate love is what this movie truly is about. Love in all its long stem roses, boxes of chocolates, hugs, kisses, long embraces, and the overwhelming thought, notion, that you’ve found someone in this big world of ours that you cannot bare to live without.

The film is told through three different time periods. It begins in the 1500s where we meet a Spanish Conquistador who’s fighting his way through Mayan warriors. This whole portion of the film isn’t real. It’s fiction. It’s material that encompasses the book that the dying Izzy is writing for her husband, Tommy. It’s a book that she will give to him unfinished, a book he is supposed to write the ending for, a book that will transform him and his world completely. The characters within the material are obviously meant to be them. There lies lingering notions of their real relationship that parallel the situations within the fictional material of the book. You have, the Conquistador Tomas who is driven, but ultimately endless in his labour to push past the limits in order to save the woman he loves. In the real world, you have, Tommy who is a medical researcher, working on a cancer cure, determined to beat Izzy’s cancer to its conclusion, determined to stop it cold before it can take her. The more driven Tommy becomes, the more desperate the quest of Tomas becomes.

Then there is the whole outer space portion of the film. It’s all visually stunning and the most challenging material of the film. It’s as if you are looking at a painting, staring at its beauty, trying to understand its meaning, deciphering its secrets. That, is what this whole portion of the movie is, there is little to no dialogue, just images that we have to take in. Whatever Tommy calls himself at this point, he is alone, so he has no real need for any name. It’s just him, this strange and beautiful tree, and the big cold empty mere inches away on the outside of this bubble. All this space stuff is about sacrifice, keeping a promise. It's about loving someone enough to never give up on them.

Hugh Jackman and Rachel Weisz deserve some sort of awe-inspiring award because both of their performances here are just fucking golden. It’s startling really; Jackman’s physical transformation is glorious and fits perfectly into the story. Tommy is affected not only by Izzy’s death, but also with the task she has left him, and everything he does is a response to that. Weisz’ performance is equally startling, heartbreaking even. She’s struggling to make her peace with the idea of dying, the book she is writing is part of that, the way she reaches out to Tommy is part of that. And ultimately, when she finally achieves this peace, she’s luminous. Both Jackman and Weisz portray this epic love, beautifully realized that you begin to feel and emote to what you are witnessing.

The thing that stands out the most about Darren Aronofsky’s The Fountain is its ability to merge its visuals with its story and unveil it in such away that it literally is inspiring, both on an emotional level but too on filmmaking standpoint. You see, most movies today carry with them massive special effects for the sake of having eye candy, to wet the mouths of those watching, but when it comes down to it those movies often provide no substance at all. Here, with The Fountain, Aronofsky is able to throw down his filmmaking prowess and tell a story about humanity and redemption so beautiful and emotional and too display it on a canvas of sights and sounds that leave you in wonder. Aronofsky’s decision to go against the standard works of any random special effects house and evoke the talents of Peter Parks’ microphotography to represent star fields, nebulas, and the ever enthralling appearance of infinite space is a testament to Aronofsky talent to do something visually different. This film deserves to be applauded.

At the end of the day, if you expect to have this movie completely spoon-fed to you, you may leave the theater disappointed, though the answers are all there. There will be many who watch this movie and use the term “weird” to describe it, but my counter to this assumption would be to say you weren’t really paying attention. Ultimately, the film is about asking the fundamental life question we all one time or another have asked ourselves: What happens to us when we die? Aronofsky tries to give us the answer, an idea of what can happen. Izzy's death leads to another life, just as Tommy's ultimate fate is no ending at all. It’s unspoken beauty in the final moments of the film, allowing us to speculate and interpret what it is to live, die, and love. It’s a triumphant film.

AS SEEN AT THE 2006 TORONTO INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE

2006-09-13T00:43:00.000-04:00

"FUTURESEX / LOVESOUNDS"

review date: 09 / 13 / 06

rating: 8.7

written by: suj

I may very well be crucified by the forth coming proclamation, that being, I really dig the new Justin Timberlake album. You just got to give credit where credit is due and you just have to come to the startling realization that this is indeed good music because once in awhile you just need to step away from your musical comfort zone, and succumb to something you don’t normally listen to. Justin Timberlake has undeniably taken the reins of pop-music and transformed it into an all out panic attack of abnormal dance movements your body never knew could comprehend. FutureSex/LoveSounds will be spinning in our collective heads for years to come, and it will be a reminder for those willing to bring sexy back in a future where robots rule the world.

This praise most certainly comes out of nowhere. I was never a fan of neither Timberlake’s boy band days nor his debut solo album. There is just something innate about this album and the sheer coolness that it possess. FutureSex/LoveSounds picks up where Michael Jackson left off with Thriller and Bad, but swirls and spins the aforementioned albums into a new era, a new generation, and a new audience. All of which are accustomed to electronic hypnotic beats, catchy hooks, and the undying inclination to dance (I’m talking to you ladies). The rhythmic "Sexyback" will forever be played in clubs for years to come and I’ll occasional be there to play the role of strangers crotch to women’s voluptuous asses and for that I thank you Mr. Timberlake. “My Love” may perhaps be the answer to “Cry Me A River” as its a declaration of emotion serenaded through smooth falsetto with weeping lovelorn lyrics. The song is epic love, both lyrically and musically. It’s the type of song you want to etch down its lyrics, conveniently wrap it into a heart shaped box and hand it over to the girl of your dreams all the while the glistening of the moon overlooks it all, Shakespearean romanticism. As for the music, it’s Timbaland at his finest with massive synths, thumping bass, shushing beatbox, and the overwhelming definition of chill.

The rest of the album continues and follows the lead of the two aforementioned tracks and keeps the toe-tapping to an all time high. One of the coolest tracks on this album is that of "Lovestoned/I Think She Knows." Its packed with James Brown/Prince infused craziness of which will more than likely ingnite the nearby dancefloor, and the interlude is just fucking sick. To cap off the album are the gospel-tinged “Losing My Way” and the wonderful Rick Rubin-produced finale, "(Another Song) All Over Again," beautiful ballads that bring a nice symmetry to an otherwise dance centric album.

I don’t care what people say, this album is fucking good. And I know damn well that I won’t be the only pseudo-emo scenester who’ll dig this album. So, in conclusion Justin Timberlake’s FutureSex/LoveSounds is an all-out dance party nicely wrapped up in a CD case. All you have to do is insert it into a music player, push play, let it roam from its beginning until its end, and you’ll have your whole night right there. Hopefully for me, the night would consist of me making bad decisions with the earlier mentioned woman whose ass engaged in a little one-two step with my crotch on the fever inducing dance floor, and end with the two of us making sweet sweet music together.

INVINCIBLE

2006-09-10T22:00:00.000-04:00

starring: mark wahlberg, greg kinnear, elizabeth banks...
director: ericson core
writer: brad gann

date: 09/05/06
reviewer: Clarkey
rating: 7.5/10

As most people know, I love my sports movies (hell, I made a top 50 sports movies list). I can’t help it. I’m a sucker for them, so when I saw the trailer for Invincible, I wanted to check it out. It was your typical Disney sports movie with an inspiring story, a likeable lead and some solid sports scenes.

Marky Mark was solid as the real-life Vince Papale, a 30 year old Bartender from South Philly, who followed his heart and made the Philadelphia Eagles. Papale was like the thousands of Philadelphians who were struggling to make ends meet, when the new Eagles’ coach, the legendary Dick Vermeil (played brilliantly by Greg Kinnear) decided to hold an open tryout. Out of the hundreds of useless bums who go, Vince is the only one who can actually play football. I especially liked how Papale doubted himself, it shows the human side of the character and Wahlberg did a great job bringing that out in his portrayal. His love interest just happens to be a Giants fan, played by the always gorgeous Elizabeth Banks. The girl is moving up and up on my favourite actresses because she has the deadly combo: talent and beauty. Vince’s friends are played relatively unknowns and they don’t have much screen time. There were no real standouts. Marky Mark was in almost every single frame, except for those with Greg Kinnear at his home.

The film had a G rating and is a very clean movie. It’s definitely a good movie to take the kids to see, knowing that parents will get as much out of this film as kids, if not more. It is a truly inspiring movie. It has a lot of parallels to Rudy with a little “older” guy underdog who fights through adversity to achieve his dreams. However, Invincible just didn’t have the likeable secondary characters as Rudy did (i.e. Jon Favreau and Ned Beatty to name a few) or constant struggle that Rudy faced. Vince’s struggles were hard, no doubt, but in the film, they appear pretty easy compared to what Rudy faced. However, Invincible is still a great movie in its own right. If you like sports movies, especially football movies, you should see this movie.

MY SUPER EX-GIRLFRIEND

2006-09-05T21:56:00.000-04:00

starring: uma thurman, luke wilson, anna faris...
director: ivan reitman
writer: don payne

date: 09/05/06
reviewer: Clarkey
rating: 2/10

I don’t even know where to begin when it comes to reviewing this flick. I thought it would be a solid flick with a new take on the whole superhero genre. However, sadly, this film was pretty much a waste of my time. It felt more like a made for TV movie than a cinematic flick. I’ve seen better straight to video movies. That’s how bad it was.

There were some positives in the mess; mainly how hot Uma Thurman looked in her costume. However, it looked like she was going through the motions, never really bringing the substance that makes the audience like the character. The support of Anna Faris and Ranin Wilson (a.k.a Dwight from the Office) were great. The former continues to look smoking hot and the latter stole every scene he was in. Luke Wilson was…well, Luke Wilson. He always seems to play the same likeable loser in every movie he does.

As for the story, it was predictable and pretty stupid. Any person who has watched a movie would’ve known what would’ve happened. And my God, what a bad climax. That was just plain uncreative and so bad. This script was the first feature length script that Don Payne wrote and it’s quite obvious. He should stay with television. I’ll admit I did like the last line in the movie, “You wanna grab a beer?” As for directing, Ivan Reitman, please stick with producing. Your skills as a director have dried up with age. It is quite sad that this is film was directed so poorly by the same man who brought us classics like Stripes, Ghostbusters and Ghostbusters II.

Do yourself a favour and avoid this film at all cost, like I really had to warn most of you. If you are considering renting this film or checking it out, save your money and rent something, anything, else. Or watch The Office season 1 and 2 on DVD.

LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE

2006-08-22T21:21:00.000-04:00

starring: steve carell, greg kinnear, abigail breslin...
director: jonathan dayton and valerie faris
writers: michael arndt

date: 08/22/06
reviewer: Suj
rating: 10/10

So, earlier today I caught the movie, Little Miss Sunshine, and I have to say it's one of the year’s best. Sure, it may be bit early to say such a profound statement, but the film will speak for itself. It’s a film that swirls with endearment to not only its characters, but too with its story as it’s a perfect blend of comedy, emotional family drama, road movie, charm, and an introspective look into the modern unpleasantries of the world, family, and life itself.

The premise of the movie surrounds itself around the Hoover family: the father, Richard, is a motivational speaker on the verge of a book deal that would see his self-innovative 9-step program gain broad appeal. In the process of his self-involvement with this pending book deal, his family is crumbling to the ground as he pretends not to notice. His wife Sheryl wants the family to open a window of dialogue, which is tough considering her teenage son Dwayne has taken a vow of silence. To make matters more stressful, her brother Frank has just moved in after a failed attempt at killing himself. Rounding out the household is Richards’s foul-mouthed father who has acquired a taste in heroin-snorting. The glue that binds this shaggy group of characters is wide-eyed seven-year-old Olive, who has just learned that she has gained a spot within the Little Miss Sunshine Pageant. Now, Olive along with her family must trek to California for said pageant within a dilapidated VM bus, let the family drama ensue. Ultimately, it’s in the family's insecurities and collective loser status that truly binds them together and makes them stronger and able to continue living, a beautiful movie this is.

Steve Carell is dynamite as the suicidal brother Frank; it’s a grandiose of a performance. It’s always great to see someone who is wildly know as a funnyman step onto the stage and show range within their acting talents, and here Carell accentuates his ability to not only make us laugh but to also make us emote. His performance is brooding, tragic, with a touch of light at the end of the tunnel. Greg Kinnear has proven many times that he is solid actor and his performance here is just another testament that.

All the performances are great in this film, Toni Collette is both beautiful and endearing as the mother, while Alan Arkin stole every scene he was in (even when laying in the trunk of the van) as the disgruntle grandfather. Arkin's little spew of advice to Dwayne was comically educing. Speaking of Dwayne, Paul Dano has perhaps the toughest role in this movie as he must act without saying a single word. Dano is able to express so much with a simple shrug or head nod and too convey a broad range of comedy within his silence. The scene where he breaks down after finding out that he is unable to succeed in his life’s ambition is emotionally devastating.

Throughout all of these great performances the one that I would single out as the best is that of young Abigail Breslin. She plays the seven-year-old pageant contestant Olive and is perhaps the most inspirational character in a movie this year. She wants to be beautiful like the pageant girls she sees on TV, she doesn’t want to disappoint her father and be a "loser", but through it all she’s just a seven-year-old girl and in that innocence is where the inspiration comes from. She is just a little kid, experiencing life with wide-eyes and most importantly with her family. Her little exchange of dialogue with her grandpa within a hotel room is heartbreakingly touching and her pageant dance number is one of the funniest moments in the film.

Little Miss Sunshine is founded on its extraordinary script by first time writer Michael Arndt and is executed with precise grandeur by directors Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris. At no time does the film try to induce its audience into force laughs with lame jokes and site gags. It’s the type of film that feels real, that this family can seem to actually exist. And this ability to provoke such realism within the ridicioulious of situations that the family gets into shows the ability of the filmmakers who are actually trying to make something great without reinventing the wheel. Couple all of that with an impressive assembly of thespians conveying equally or even more so impressive performances, along with a spiraling musical score by Devotchka, adds up to one of the best films of this year and in the words of the great Stan Lee, "nuff said!"

MONSTER HOUSE

2006-07-16T13:48:00.000-04:00

voices: steve buscemi, mitchel musso, maggie gyllenhaal...
director: gil kenan
writers: dan harmon, rob schrab, and pamela pettler

date: 07/16/06
reviewer: Suj
rating: 10/10

The wonder years, those days spent as a child aimlessly walking around without a care in the world. It’s in these years that you’re faced with the promise of endless opportunities, be it the opportunity to stay up way past your bedtime, eat an unhealthy amount of teenage mutant ninja turtle’s cookies (am I the only one who remembers these), and watch cartoons at all hours of the day in your underwear with several bowls of count chocula cereal in hand. These moments in your history, this era of time that is called childhood is indeed the best years of ones life. You’re not boggled down with responsibilities and decisions instead wide-eyed innocence becomes the buzzword.

It’s was during my wonder years where I watched numerous flicks that captured my attention and blossomed my imagination. These films would soon became staples in my childhood movie-watching upbringing. I remember watching 3 Ninjas and after which wearing my brothers old karate uniform stalking the house in complete stealth mode. I remember watching the Goonies and making a makeshift treasure map and getting into all sorts of periling conundrums while running from the Fratelli family within my imagination. I can name drop a whole bunch of flicks like ET, The Wizard, Stand By Me, and The Monster Squad all of which brought out many misadventures and captivated me with their stories and the all-out fun of it all. I love these movies and as the older I get, these films whenever I see them on television or insert them into a DVD player still manage to hold with them the magic, the ability to make me smile, and more importantly bring me back to that wide-eyed innocence of those carefree days.

My taste of movies changed dramatically as I grew older. I became a devout student in the school of Tarantino. Movies with more substance, harder subject matter, immense style, sights and sounds. Though, deep down inside I’ve been searching and waiting for Hollywood to make a movie that would recapture the aura of the 200+ words that preceded this here sentence. And now, I believe I have found that movie in Monster House.

Monster House is full of mystery, mythology, and well a monster that fucking eats people. This movie captures all the mood and style of those classic 80s family films, so much so that it wears it on its sleeve. If you were to jumble together all the films mentioned up above in this reviews opening two paragraphs, turn it upside down, right side up again, then throw it into a computer you would get Monster House.

It’s positively ingenious with a story so simple, so seemingly, straight out of childhood that you can’t quite imagine how it’s never been told before - When kids discover the house next door’s terrible secret they tell the adults, the authorities, but no one believes them. So what do they do? You’re damn right, they set out to stop it before it hurts anyone else – fucking Monster Squad style, Goonies style, 3 ninjas style.

The best thing about this movie, aside from it being extremely entertaining and worldly reminiscent of my childhood movie-watching upbring, is that it’s actually about something. It's about loneliness, adventure, and sacrifice. It's about growing up and realizing the world is way bigger and far worst than we are, yet still rising to meet the challenge. Ultimately, it’s about all these things while being, simply put, fun.

CGI animation never looked better, the film just looks beautiful. I’ve never wanted to bang an animated fictional character as much as I want to bang the animated embodiment of Maggie Gyllenhaal in this movie. The film sports a mesmerizing composition with fluid camera motion. It’s an astonishing painting with a canvas provided by writers Dan Harmon, Rob Schrab, and Pamela Pettler which is all fleshed out and brought to life with style and flare by director Gil Kenan. It’s a wonderment of accomplishments.

Monster House is funny, scary, and most importantly it has the word adventure etched right into its heart. It’s a movie that will have the parents respond after its viewing not with an "aw, wasn’t that cute" but instead with a "wow! that was fantastic" and as for the kids, well they’ll be jumping like kids on crack with a smile that would finally get Michael Jackson convicted. It’s just a fun movie people, for the parents, the kids, and the jaded scenesters and hipsters who will remember what it was like to be a child without a care in the world.

SUPERMAN RETURNS

2006-06-28T19:00:00.000-04:00

starring: brandon routh, kate bosworth, kevin spacey...
director: bryan singer
writers: michael dougherty and dan harris

date: 06/28/06
reviewer: Suj
rating: 10+/10

This movie is insanely good. It’s on par with the first time you laid eyes on a pair of breast, your first kiss, the day you lost your virginity, the day you fell in love, the moment when your firstborn child open its eyes, and the first time John Stamos uttered the opening lines to “Forever” on that one episode of Full House. Superman Returns is everything one can ask for in a movie, be it superhero or other. It’s just a damn good movie. I can slip into an endless amount of hyperbole to match the greatness of Superman Returns to the likes of Star Wars, The Godfather, and all the other classic films that have garnered such mass amounts of praise and admiration. And to some these exaggerations could be considered blasphemous, but to me it’s on point.

Director Bryan Singer along with writers Michael Dougherty and Dan Harris combine their exceptional movie making talents and have constructed the most tear-jerking, heart-rending, astonishing superhero film we’ve seen to date. From the get-go the movie swoops in and grabs its audiences from their respective genital regions, tugs and rubs on them until both genders have reach their unforgettable climaxes as the films end credits scroll upwards. Then and only then will everybody in attendance know they’ve experienced something magical, something wonderful, and something memorable.

The special effects are grand in this movie. The explosions, the destruction, the heroics of the man of steel are fantastically envisioned and displayed on screen. When Superman flies, it’s not done by old school methods of wirework and front angle shots. He flies with grace, there’s a fluid symmetry as he soars through the sky, its beautiful placed poetry in motion. And indeed it must be said again - you will believe a man can fly. Also everything looks lush here. The iconic comic book images be it the cover to Action Comics #1 or something straight out of Alex Ross' drawing book, It’s all just beautifully executed. The cinematography is gorgeous, the work of Newton Thomas Sigel is breath-taking and the kudos must also go to the new technology of the Genesis HD cameras.

Aside from all the eye-catching moments of the aggrandizing glory kind, the best part of the movie lies within its heart. The emotional core of the story and how all the characters play their roles for the importance of what it is that is being told. The movie, simply put, is an epic love story. It’s about the classic story of the Clark/Lois/Superman love triangle and it’s newly added twist of complications. And it’s about our love of Superman, the love of something we all, deep down inside, wish we could be – to thrive to be something everyone can depend on, to belong and to be wanted, to become something greater than who we really are, a hero.

Bryan Singer gets Superman right. His allegiance isn’t to the vast collection of comic book continuity, but to the classic Richard Donner films that had originally made us believe a man can fly. This is Superman III, the way we all wish Superman III had really been made. But its Singer’s reliance on pieces of Williams’ score and Donner’s little moments that remind us throughout the film of its place in the grand scheme of the franchises cinematic story. Despite this being an entirely different cast and time period from the originals we know and love, you don’t doubt for a second that this is a continuation of those stories – and it never for a moment feels like a mere copy.

Brandon Routh is Superman. Like Christopher Reeve before him, Routh is able to capture the clumsy nature of Clark and the valiant scenery of the man of steel. Sure, the kid looks like the late great Reeves, but Routh adds an entirely new human dimension to the character. There are expressions that run the range from anguished to lonely to downright proud to be able to take a bullet in the eye. There are looks that break your heart, and looks that make you chuckle. Brandon Routh is Superman the way Christian Bale is Batman. It’s the bewildering return, the exceptional reintroduction of iconic silver screen heroes of the past brought back to the present to make us all once again feel its awe.

Kate Bosworth. Let’s get this out of the way - she is undeniably beautiful to the extent that she rivals in position of my admiration with Natalie Portman, and coming from me that is saying something. Ever since Bosworth graced us with an endless quantity of bikini’s and a continuous amount of water splashing onto her body in the movie Blue Crush, I was fan. Here, in Superman Returns, Bosworth shows us why we should all be fans and fall deeply in love with this beautiful vixen. She’s amazing charming, charismatic, beautiful, and possesses that sense of aura that you know just by looking at her that she has "it". Like Routh, Bosworth is Lois Lane. She is the definitive Lois Lane. Not to take anything away from Margot Kidder, but here Bosworth plays Lois as she should have been played – headstrong, beautiful (how many times have I used this word to describe Miss Bosworth?), and damaged of a woman whose in love but is afraid to admit it. She too plays Lois as an actual investigative reporter, we finally see and a come to realize that Lois is not just that hot piece of real state walking about in the halls of the Daily Planet, but that go-getter reporter doing everything and showing everyone why the byline reads Lois Lane. And did I not mention that Kate Bosworth is absolutely beautiful in this movie?

Kevin Spacey is the fucking man. Everything this man touches turns to gold; he’s just that kind of actor. Christopher Walken-esque. He’s nails Lex Luther the way your father nailed your mother which would become the byproduct of you the reader of this here review. Though, the consequence of Kevin Spacey nailing Lex Luther is that of one fantastic performance that raises the stock of this already amazing movie. You cannot doubt the brilliance of Spacey; he plays Luther with more ruthlessness yet still exhibits that playfulness and the humorous attributes attached to Gene Hackman’s portrayal. Simply put, Kevin Spacey owns every second of screen time he’s given and then some. Just brilliant.

Parker Posey as Kitty Kowalski (think a better and more entertaining version of Ms. Teschmacher) is fantastic in this movie. She’s attractive, funny, and plays perfectly with Spacey every step of the way. Sam Huntington as Jimmy Olsen is the perfect mix of old school charm and over enthusiasm that makes the character a joy to watch. And James Marsden as Richard White, the man who filled Superman’s void in the arms of Lois is a good guy, a worthy replacement for Superman. He’s so real, so grounded, and so transparently decent that you end up rooting for him to be the one who Lois chooses. He risks his life for his family knowing full well that he doesn’t have super powers. It’s the single most heroic act in the film, and it speaks volumes about the character.

Although, there may be a few "problems" that some people will find in this movie that being its a little too long, the pacing is too slow, and some logical questions will rise as to why nobody connects the sudden reemergence of Superman after an absence of 5 years to the sudden reemergence of Clark Kent after the same said amount of years. But what I would say to all that is - it’s a movie, everything can’t perfect, although I would imagine this movie to be close to the word. And plus, for a comic book/movie geek like myself I was never bored or bothered by these squabbles because I am a comic book/movie geek, as throughout the picture I sat wide-eyed with a smile from ear to ear, and to say I was a happy little boy would be an understatement.

Another "problem" some people will frown upon is the whole Lois-has-a-kid storyline. I for one love it. It works. The kid isn’t annoying; he’s just a 5 year old kid, curious and joyful. It’s pretty obvious as to whom the child’s father is, though Singer and company handles the mystery of the child and his relation to Superman very well, subtle and nice. I love when Lex puts the pieces together. I love the final speech Superman gives. There’s a real resonance to it all. I love that the kid never starts flying around and doing crazy shit. That sold him on being the son of Superman to me, that he’s just a child. Simply put, I love the whole metaphorical nature of it all, that the sole reason as to Superman’s absence was that he was searching the universe for someone like him, when all along he had a son growing back on Earth.

One of the most heart-wrenching moments of the film comes after Superman lands himself in the hospital and the whole entire world is freaking out. It’s a short scene, a little whimper of a shot involving Martha Kent. The look on her face is devastating, she stands as another face in the crowed, not knowing the condition whether it be dying in or pain of her boy, her son that nobody knows is her child who lays in a bed, alone. The scene is criminal, heartbreakingly killer.

All I can say to close out this over abundance amount of letters, words, and paragraphs that sum up an unhealthy amount of wide-eyed wonderment of praise is that Superman Returns is everything I can ask for in a Superman movie. It captured me from the beginning and made believe in Superman, made me believe a man can fly...again, and made me believe that comic book movies are more than an eye-catching spectacle, that their actually movies with heart and to that I thank the makers of the film and applaud them with never ending handclaps. Thank You!

ANGELS & AIRWAVES

2006-05-31T00:51:00.000-04:00

"WE DON'T NEED TO WHISPER"

date: 04/12/06
reviewer: Suj
rating: 10+/10
And so it has been leaked, a good month or so before it officially drops. Yes, I’ve fallen into temptation and snatched the album as fast as I could, and don’t judge me because I’m sick of all you people saying shit like “I’ll wait till it comes out” and “I’m not going to download it because I want to respect the artist”. The way I see it is like this, if you given the chance to fuck super hot sexpot Scarlet Johansson right now or one month from now, we both know that you along with I would most defiantly fuck her right now. And by no means am I compareing the Angels & Airwaves album is equal to fucking Ms. Johansson because that would just not be right. fucking Scarlet is on a tottally different level, I mean I think I would actually feel the world trembling in utter bliss if I were to lay in bed with her, it would be gloriously good. It would only be equal to talking to God or at the least standing in the presence of one Scott Baio...fuck, I'm going off topic here, so yeah rest assured I will be purchasing the actual album when it comes out (I’ll probably buy more than one copy to compensate for embracing the evil ways of internet transactions). So fuck you anti-pirate people, pirates are fucking cool, always have and always will, eye patch et al.

Before I begin to spew my thoughts about the album, I will say that the following will indeed be filled with an uncanny amount of praise because I am completely biased in a positive light towards the work of one Thomas Delonge. I should also note, that it was the band Blink 182 that brought me into the musical world and would eventually lead my ears to such masterful acts such as The Cure and The Smiths whom would change the way I hear music. In short, Blink 182 was my marijuana, my gateway drug to great music, and to the ever clandestine of translucent eargasms.

The record, the album entitled We Don’t Need to Whisper by the band Angels & Airwaves is shining example of productively in the face of adversity and the evolution of one man’s desire to become something more than just piss and fart jokes. Delonge (Guitar/Vocals) steps up, aided with new band mates David Kennedy (Guitar), Ryan Sinn (Bass), and Atom Willard (Drums) to rejuvenate the signature blink sound and turn it into something magical, memorable, and everlasting.

The track “Valkyrie Missile” opens everything up and gives you a very futuristic feeling as if you were at the edge of space overlooking the vast emptiness as the sun slowly starts to rise over the horizon, then it all stops, as a soft guitar riff makes its presence felt along two astronauts talking to one another, telling each other what they see, and in moments the drums kick in and before you know it your knee deep in a soothing anthem of a beautiful beginning. The song “Distraction” follows next and opens with a Beatles-esque type piano melody accompanied by a faint drum beat that progressively gets louder until the chorus engulfs the speakers proclaiming “I’ll be your distraction”. The song is somber, easing you through its story, stunning and melodic it is.

“It Hurts” is the albums third entry and I just love the melody of the verses, it’s very catchy. Forth on the docket is “Do It For Me Now” which embraces the sounds of the 80s with the use of synths coupled with a swirling guitar riff, both of which coupled with the story of the song makes you feel as if your spinning around and around with the one you love. Hand in hand, smiling from ear to ear without a care in the world, because you both know that when your together every little rotten thing about life seems like its going to be okay. This is one of my favorite songs on the record. Then you have “The Adventure” the albums first single which is currently making the rounds at various radio stations and music channels. Very U2 sounding, and showcases what, essentially, Delonge and company are trying to accomplish with their music. Great song. “The War” is heavy in its thunderclaps, drum pounding, guitar riffs, and vocals. This song is indeed best listened standing in the centre of a stadium as the band bombards you from the stage, speakers at max. It’s a good rock song, and did I mention the hand claps, you can never go wrong with hand claps. A definite crowd pleaser, fucking hand claps!

The album slows down with the melancholy sounds of the ballad “A Little’s Enough” which is about God coming down from the heavens to make the world a better place to live. It’s a profound message and too a profound song. It’s simplestic, echoing with happiness’. One of my other favorite tracks of this album is “The Gift” as it's highly influenced by U2. It’s the type of song that makes you want to walk the streets with a great big smile; it’s an uplifting song, a summer song of love. Perhaps even a good song to insert ones penis into one’s significant others vagina. Second to last is the track “Good Day” which is one those slow, tapping of the toes, bobbing of the head, back against the wall, fingers a snapping songs. The album comes to a close with “Start the Machine” which begins with a haunting playing of a toy piano and it along with the rest of the song brings chills throughout ones spine.

To conclude, bravo and handclaps to you Thomas Delonge for creating an album I soon won’t forget. This record may not change the world, may not be the greatest achievement in music, may not be your cup of tea, but quite frankly I don’t give a damn because Its good to hear from the voice of an artist that made me love music and to that I will always be grateful.

X-MEN: THE LAST STAND

2006-05-30T17:59:00.000-04:00

starring: hugh jackman, halle berry, ian mckellen...
director: brett ratner
writers: simon kinberg and zak penn

date: 05/29/06
reviewer: Suj
rating: 1/10

Comic books have more than often been laughed at and scratched off as an inadequate form of literature. People see it as childish, the bastard child of novels and art. But if one were to actually pick up one of these “comic books” one would able to witness its magic, its stories of divine beings, beings possessed with great power, each with their own tragic flaw. All of which stand to represent an ideal, and the struggle to come to terms with their role in the world. You have Superman who is the indestructible embodiment of truth and justice. You have Batman who symbolizes the notion of brain over brawn. And then you have Spider-Man who represents the youthful, miserable spirit whose been granted with great power, only to be forced to understand that "with great power comes great responsibility."

Comic books are moral lessons wrapped in entertaining metaphors, just as early mythology and fables were. And to properly translate these stories and these characters to the big screen, you don’t have to absolutely stick to the facts. Instead one must stick to the soul of what you’re adapting. It’s about the idea, the idea of these powerful beings stuck in surreal situations, and how it effects them emotionally. It’s all about the essence, the soul.

The film adaptations of Superman, Batman and Spider-Man ignore some of the very important facts about the history of each character. The reason for this is that it’s virtually impossible to create a direct adaptation of these characters, it really is impossible. There's a rich history, It's way too much. But what the film makers do to counter the changes they make is that they capture the characters soul as they were written. They capture their very being and plaster it onto the screen with such power and emotion.

Richard Donner got Superman right, he got the Kent’s right, he got Lois right, and it was absolutely, without a doubt, a Superman story. Then you have Spider-Man with the organic web shooters, a mechanical Green Goblin suit, and no Gwen Stacy. But with those changes, Sam Raimi was able to make one phenomenal movie because they got Peter Parker right. They got Spider-Man right. They got his struggle, his emotion; they got the character right with a bullet. These films are prime examples of exactly how a comic book adaptation should be done. They treat the material as mythology, as a fable, as sacred text not to be extraordinarily messed with in order to make the most money from its already established fan base. They get things right.

The X-Men franchise, on the other hand, is a whole different story. The first film got a couple of characters very wrong, but seeds were planted that would make for a bigger and better installment and that was the case with X2. It apologized, and got absolutely everything right. Smiles were had by everyone watching, it was poetry in motion. All of a sudden Wolverine actually was Wolverine. Nightcrawler was introduced and was spot on, and they captured the alienation of the mutant community perfectly. With this film Bryan Singer got the X-Men right. And to make our geek erections all aroused even more so, they gave us that final shot. You all know what shot I’m talking about. The promise of the single most kick ass X-Men story ever told put in the hands of the people that got the X-Men right. The mother fucking Dark Phoenix Saga. Hands in the sky, pants off, and smile from ear to ear. The mother fucking Dark Phoenix Saga.

You see, The Dark Phoenix Saga is perhaps one of the greatest X-Men stories ever told and arguably one of the greatest comic book stories ever told. It’s big, it’s epic, its Jessica Alba and Kate Bosworth rubbing sun tan lotion on each other good. It has love, jealousy, betrayal, intrigue, and sacrifice. It has everything that makes any story epic and big. It’s practically Shakespearian. Truth be told, it too would be an impossible task to recreate. No one expected it to be a direct translation because it would be literally impossible to include the Shi’ar Empire, the Corsairs, and the whole outer space segment entirely. Like I stated it would be impossible to jam pack one movie with all of this classic continuity.

But I for one did not expect what was shown in X-Men: The Last Stand to be its on-screen legacy because that was not the Phoenix saga. Sure, everyone called Jean Grey the Phoenix, but what was perfectly described by Patrick Stewart’s character in his brief analysis of her was never shown. There’s was no earth shattering powers, no corruption and tormenting of her character. She was simply Super Jean Grey, the mutant with the spectacular power to show off her veins. We are never shown the manifestation of the Phoenix force; you know that shadowy figure we all saw underneath the water at the end of X2. Here, Jean Grey as the Phoenix is negated to simply follow Magneto around becoming one of his goons just standing there while looking all too menacing. Your going to tell me that's the on screen legacy of the Phoenix saga? What the fuck! This was simply a silver screen bastardization of one the greatest X-Men stories ever told. Fuck you. Fuck you.

The promise shown at the end of X2 will never be fulfilled. We will never get to see the Phoenix. That promise has been broken by two pathetic writers, a fucking asshole studio executive, and the biggest tool director of all time, how fucking dare you. Now, all I can ask myself is what if Bryan Singer was allowed to do his Phoenix Saga film? What would it have been like? Sadly, we’ll never know. And that’s a crime. I’m heart broken; dashboard confessional is playing on iTunes right now as I stare at newly downloaded images of Famke Janssen that I’ve made into a makeshift collage. Teardrop.

Besides my absolute distaste of how they handled the Phoenix, the film in all honesty is a dismal mess. The writing is atrocious because after all these are the same people that brought us such cinematic gems as: xXx: State of the Union, Behind Enemy Lines and Elektra. Yup, I know. With that you get flat and stupid dialogue which is almost always painful to watch. They also introduce a shit load of characters without actually developing a single one of them. Absolutely no character development whatsoever, it feels like everyone is just there looking pretty while a hack puppeteer directs him or her. You bring Colossus into the mix; make him a full-fledged member of the team and the only thing he says is a response to Bobby Drake as to the whereabouts of Rouge. WTF? You put these kids on the team with no explanation was to why? You bring in the danger room, so that you can show a sentinels head? You put Bolivar Trask in the film and make no mention of his connection to the sentinels? You bring in Juggernaught only to make him have no relation to Professor X? You put Angel in the film as one of the new characters only to make him soar through the sky, disappear, and then once again soar through the sky? You finally give us an Iceman versus Pyro fight, only for it to end when Iceman finally icing up only to deliver a lackluster head butt? No Ice slides? You have all 5 of the original X-Men in one movie and not have them be in one scene together? You kill off the leader of the X-Men in the midst of the Phoenix saga? You kill off the love of Jean Grey’s life in the midst of her darkest hour? WTF? You give Halle Barry more screen time? Fuck! There is a whole a lot of other depressing shit that would be tiresome to write. Fuck! Seriously, WTF?

Watching this garbage it all felt as if the actors on screen and the people behind the scenes were laughing at me, pointing and laughing at me because I actually paid money to see this shit. And by shit I mean that hot pile of consumed waste that comes shooting out of your asshole. I can’t forgive the lousy writing, the terrible direction the producers chose for the series and ultimately the canned leadership of that fucking Ratner. With this film they undo almost every major plot decision they made with the film to begin with. Those characters that were thought dead are not dead; those characters that lost their powers didn’t really lose their powers. They hit us with emotional resonance, making decisions that piss off the world of fandom and then they don’t even have the balls to stick with it. WTF?

Perhaps I’m being too harsh on this film, because after all there was some good when it was all said and done. The bad writing and directing could not interfere with the greatness that is Ian McKellen’s Magneto. The busting out of Mystique and the destruction of the golden gate bride was visually awesome. The fastball speacial between Wolverine and Colossus, the opening visit to the Grey household, and the troubled Angel torturing himself in the bathroom, were all great moments. The straight out of the comics "Take off your glasses...open your eyes" moment was a joy to watch. I even like the way they handled Beast, the whole government aspect of the character and the way they made it seem as if he was an old member of the X-Men. And the whole cure storyline fits into the previous two films as a device for bringing Magneto and Xavier’s philosophies to a head to head battle. Now, if only they stuck with the cure storyline to cap off this first trilogy, and perhaps save the Phoenix for the next installment this film would have been good. It would have given more emphasis and development to the other characters, to establish them, and give them bigger and better stuff to do in the coming sequels. But now, it’s all just a gigantic “What if?”

To conclude, this film is pathetic and really breaks my heart because I really wanted this to be good. I really wanted Singer to finish off what he started. I wanted the fucking Phoenix saga with the mother fucking Phoenix force. But Brett Ratner makes for shitty filmmaking and coupled with equally shitty writers (Simon Kinberg & Zak Penn) it all equals up to shitty movie with a depressing end for several great characters. Were this simply the first of the X-Men series, I might have simply just disliked the film, but it’s not. It comes on the heels of a perfect X-Men movie.

So, fuck you Tom Rothman, Simon Kinberg, Zak Penn, and Brett Ratner. Why? For single handily destroying what could have been an outstanding third installment of a fantastic comic book movie franchise. Sure, I may be completely and utterly biased with my perspective because I truly despise and hate director Brett Ratner and believe him to be one of the biggest hacks on the face of the planet, but if you’re a fan the comics, you too have felt my pain at the hands of these goons. These goons should be thrown into a vault and be forced to watch the guy who played Dauber on Coach eat packs of yogurt for all of eternity. They all should be put in compromising positions with Bea Arthur’s penis. Fuck you, fuck you all to hell...But who am I to judge? The film made $120 million dollars this past weekend. To them its all about the money and not the integrity of story and character. And that's a shame.

LUCKY NUMBER SLEVIN

2006-04-13T16:15:00.000-04:00

cast :: Josh Harnett, Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman...
writer :: Jason Smilovic
director :: Paul McGuigan

review date :: 04/12/06
written by :: Clarkey
rating :: 7/10

THE PLOT_________________

A case of mistaken identity lands Slevin (Josh Hartnett) into the middle of a war being plotted by two of the city's most rival crime bosses: The Rabbi (Ben Kingsley) and The Boss (Morgan Freeman). Slevin is under constant surveillance by relentless Detective Brikowski (Stanley Tucci) as well as the infamous assassin Goodkat (Bruce Willis) and finds himself having to hatch his own ingenious plot to get them before they get him.

THE REVIEW_________________

Originality seems to be lacking in Hollywood. Remakes and unnecessary sequels and trilogies are filling up cinemas across North America. However, every so often there are movies that fresh. Lucky Number Slevin is one of those films. Although, the main premise of a mistaken identity has been overused in the past, the film takes a new take on the idea. The film has a mix of Tarrantio and Kubrick look to it. And I must say it looks pretty damn good.

I have rarely seen a Josh Harnett movie that I really liked, but this is definitely his movie. His portrayal of Slevin was outstanding with his smartass comments, his quirkiness and his badassness near the end. Bruce “motherfucking” Willis is once again at kicking ass and taking numbers as the Assassin. Sir Ben Kingsley and Morgan Freeman are their usual greatness as rival mob bosses. Even Lucy Liu is stellar as the adorable Lindsay. Not to mention the underappreciated Stanley Tucci, who punches in another solid performance as the cop who is trying to figure this whole puzzle out.

The trailer for the film treats the film as a case of mistaken identity, but as the plot unfolds, it is much more than simply that. I don’t want to get too involved in discussing the plot because it will give away a lot of the good parts of the film. There is a cute little love story between Harnett and Liu, which was a delight to watch unfold. Also, there is a revenge aspect to the film, which I’m a sucker for. I love revenge films and a few times at the end, I was cheering for certain characters.

The film is not very complex and there aren’t too many twists and turns; most of the audience will know what will happen next, but it is a fun time at the movies. If you are looking for a good way to waste ten bucks and two hours and you don’t want to see another crappy remake or sequel, then be sure to check out Lucky Number Slevin.

THE PRODUCERS

2006-03-05T01:04:00.000-05:00

cast :: matthew broderick, nathan lane, uma thurman...
writer :: mel brooks...
director :: susan stroman

review date :: 01/14/06
written by :: clarkey
rating :: n/a

THE REVIEW_________________

Another year in Hollywood, another year with more remakes than the year before. Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind remakes, as long as they’re good (i.e. The Manchurian Candidate, King Kong and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory). But where has the originality gone? Normally, I don’t go to reamke unless I want to see it and I was actually looking forward to seeing this movie because the original is one of the best comedies ever made.

Having said that, I finally got around to seeing it and it was a good movie. A great remake, which is almost word for word to original, but with a fresh looking update. With that being said, it is more like the broadway show, and not so much like the original movie. There are many more songs than the original. The original only had a select few, unlike the remake, which was essentially completely a musical. I don’t normally like musicals, (with Singin’ in the Rain and The Wizard of Oz being the main exceptions), but I really enjoyed myself throughout the film.

Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick were great as Bialystock and Bloom respectively. However, no living soul can every replace the comedic brilliance of Zero Mostel and Gene Wilder. Lane and Broderick are fun to watch, but they just don’t do it for me, personally and most of their physically is good for merely a chuckle at least. Will Ferrell was great as Franz Liebkind, the Nazi playwrite, and I though that he was better than Kenneth Mars. But, at some times, Ferrell looks like he’s trying to hard to get a quick laugh. Finally, need I mention Uma Thurman as Ulla, the hot secretary/actress, who was great as usual. And her first scene is great and the song she sings is one of my favourite new songs that was added to show. The rest of the cast are pretty solid in their roles.

The film looks great and kudos go to John Bailey and Charles Minsky for their cinematography work and the art director, Peter Rogness, who made some sweet looking sets. And I must send some credit to Susan Stroman, who directed greatly in her first big screen project. There was absolutely no script for this movie, just the one from the broadway play, which was written by the legendary Mel Brooks. That just goes to show you how much singing is in this movie. A small problem I had with this was the ending. They should’ve keep the ending from the original, it was a much better. Instead they wanted another song and dance, which was good, but really not necessary.

But overall, the movie was a fun movie with fun performance from the four big stars. It looks great and you can’t help but to have a smile on your face for the majority of the movie. However, this movie has to be your cup of tea. If you don’t like musicals or a lot of singing and dancing, then you shouldn’t see this movie. But if you normally like stuff like that, then you probably will like it.

DOMINO

2005-12-03T00:10:00.000-05:00

cast :: keira knightley, mickey rouke, edgar ramirez...
writer :: richard kelly
director :: tony scott

review date :: 10/15/05
written by :: suj
rating :: 8/10

THE PLOT_________________

A recounting of Domino Harvey's life story. The daughter of actor Laurence Harvey turned away from her career as a Ford model to become a bounty hunter.

THE REVIEW_________________

Domino is all about the razzle dazzle. It’s all about the give me more give me more. It’s all about the short attention span. Tony Scott has crafted one well oiled machine filled with sporadic storytelling that steers and boggles down the mind into a pure adrenaline induced coma of entertainment. People get shot, things are blown up, smashed up, everything is loud and jumpy, all of which is shot and told in such a bombastic way with such a surreal story that the only expression that I could muster when exiting the theater was one enthusiastic looking smile and a huge hard on.

This movie is a skewed re-telling of the life of ex-model turned bounty hunter Domino Harvey, written with such a feverish imaginative spin by Richard Kelly (Donnie Darko). And because of that skewed re-telling and feverish imagination it's really hard to describe what goes on in this film. It involves bounty hunters, the mob, the FBI, a heist, a reality television show, and a whole slew of other subplots that just makes my head spin around and around forty thousand times. I know from the offset that the general audience at large will absolutely hate this movie because of all the surreal shit that goes on and because of the way the film is sporadically told, but it’s those two points that just makes this movie worthwhile. It’s like one hundred orgasms for the eyes and ears.

Perhaps the finest aspect of this flick is the delightful presence of the delectable Keira Knightley. Yes, we all know that she is ridiculously hot, wickedly hot, outrageously hot, and all the other pleasing adjectives followed by the word hot, but she is also a damn fine good actress. She plays Domino with the right amount of bravado and emotion so that the character doesn’t walk the line of being a super stylized cartoon cutout (which she somewhat is). Did I already say that Knightley is incredibly beautiful? Because if I didn't I just did. Theirs just something about her eyes that just gives me chills and I can't help but to gravitate towards her whenever she is on the screen (especially in the lap dance sequence). Also to note is Mickey Rouke and Edgar Ramirez who both shine as Domino’s bounty hunter mentor and love interest, respectively.

Everything in this movie is exciting and amusing to the extent that the film just throws anything and everything at you. You get the gun fights, the explosions, the aforementioned 'awesome' lap dance sequence, but you also get 90210'ers Ian Ziering and Brian Austin Green making fun of the their pathetic careers to utter amusement. Christopher Walken being Christopher Walken. Tom Waits as mysterious preacher who shows up out the blue to provide guidance. And a whole slew of others. It’s all just too much, yet not enough.

Domino is fun thrill ride, that is chaotic and psychotically photographed to invoke eyesores and headaches, but you must give thanks to the film makers for creating such an insane movie that just knocks you around in your seat until your a bloody mess desperately asking for seconds.

GREEN STREET HOOLIGANS

2005-11-06T20:50:00.000-05:00

cast :: Elijah Wood, Charlie Hunnam, Claire Forlani, Marc Warren...

director :: Lexi Alexander

writer(s) :: Lexi Alexander, Dougie Brimson, Josh Shelov

review date :: 09/19/05
written by :: suj
rating :: 8/10

THE PLOT_________________

A wrongfully expelled Harvard undergrad moves to London, where he is introduced to the violent undeworld of soccer hooliganism.

THE REVIEW_________________

I really know nothing about soccer, I mean football, besides the fact that you use your feet to kick a ball into a very large net. I've been told that it’s the biggest sport in the world, it’s all the rage in Europe. Perhaps the reason that I don't really know much about Football is the fact that I'm a secluded comic-book nerd who fears all things sports-related. So, when I stumbled upon Lexi Alexander's Green Street Hooligans it opened me up to a whole new world, a whole new outlook, it brought me to place of blood, passion, honor, and glory. Though, the film doesn't actually have football as its focus I can probably right now say that football is my new favorite sport not so much for the actual physical aspects, but for the bloody intensity of its fans.

The film explores the extreme rough-and-tumble of street gangs (or “firms” as they are called in the film) for whom Football is everything. The movie is fierce and riveting, it comes of like a Football induced Fight Club. The fights are engrossed with bloody intensity and the constant desire for violent fights makes London feel like a war zone. And Alexander shoots and cuts these scenes with energy and importance; she fills the screen with the right amount brooding bravado and all out badassness (I know that’s not a word).

In-between the violence Lexi Alexander paints the picture with two main points, that being: family is where you find it, and violence can be as intoxicating as a drug. And its here she is able to build an intense undying bond between the cast of characters in the 'firm' as she paints them to be a family of support. With that notion it can easily be seen why one can be drawn into this chaos and even embrace the worthless violence. This insight makes the film both overwhelmingly significant and genuinely stimulating, as it seems to show that brutal thuggish aggression actually makes for being righteous.

The actors in this film exude with the rage and the passion. They find meaning inside the mayhem. Elijah Wood is compelling as the fish out of water Matt, but it’s Charlie Hunnam (fucking Lloyd of the great short lived TV show "Undeclared") who rises above all. He plays firm leader Pete with just the right amount cool badass, and pride for his firm and it’s just a fucking great performance. He's the Tyler Durden to Woods' Narrator (or Jack). To conclude, the film isn’t perfect as evident in the third act as the flick slides down to a couple of clichéd turns (betrayal, revenge and discovery). But it all gels in a way in order to get to the my-gang vs. your-gang climactic sequence. In all, the film is just one hell of a ride and like I said the film is fierce as it is riveting and the fights are engrossed with bloody intensity. Good Movie.

ELIZABETHTOWN

2005-10-18T01:04:00.000-04:00

cast :: Orlando Bloom, Kirsten Dunst, Susan Sarandon...
writer :: Cameron Crowe
director :: Cameron Crowe

review date :: 10/18/05
written by :: suj
rating :: 9/10

THE PLOT_________________

After being fired from an athletic shoe company due to the overwhelming failure of his design for a sneaker and the $900+ million loss his company suffered because of the fiasco, Drew Baylor returns to his small Kentucky hometown of Elizabethtown following the death of his father, and meets an unstoppably positive woman along the way.

THE REVIEW_________________

There is something innate about a Cameron Crowe movie and how it affects you, how it moves you, and how it makes you feel. And “Elizabethtown” is a fine example of this notion. Crowe tugs on your emotions swaying them through a carousel of love, laughter, and lost all of which is captured with his adoration for the idiosyncrasies of life. This is a film that is dedicated to acknowledging those fragile strings of connection and embraces you with an instantly recognizable potency of charm. Crowe does all of this with an adoring arsenal of music, indecision, and precise moments of eccentricity.

This is a film about family and one man’s journey to discover the father he never really got to know. The film speaks of personal journeys that many of us can relate to, even if we didn’t consciously recognize it when we step into the theatre or pop the disc into our DVD player. And it’s through Drew Baylor's thoughtful narration where he details his professional hell along with his unwillingness to feel anything and the journey of it all that makes “Elizabethtown” an immediately enjoyable experience.

There’s an intimate and tender relationship in the movie that blossoms between the characters of Drew and Claire, and their abnormally restrained (non)courtship. Orlando Bloom has never really had a role like this. He always plays the swashbuckler or the silent threat, but here Bloom is given the chance to show his talents and he gives off a comprehensive performance that gives Drew the right amount of lost and longing. Kirsten Dunst's Claire is not your typical fantasy/dream girl, but she is mine. Claire is the beautiful quirky dork that has mastered the fine art of masking emotions with goofy, persistent charm and Dunst really captures Claire’s insecurities and excels with the role. There is a moment in the film where Claire is in a bubble bath and after finally getting Drew to admit his attraction to her she gives off a reaction that is just so earnest and unwieldy affectionate that it just makes the character so appealing and so real. I loved that moment and Dunst made me weak in the knees and yearn to meet a girl like Claire.

It's in the films final act that it makes an unexpected move as Drew gets to spend overdue time with his father while taking a literal road trip around the American Midwest. Crowe essentially drops the plot entirely as Drew drives from location to location (scored with detailed mix CDs from Claire), giving the audience a chance to enjoy roadside attractions and landmarks, and allowing Drew his glorious moments of paternal bonding. Throughout the many themes of this movie the most prominent one, for me, is the idea of taking time to smell the roses, and appreciating as many moments as one can. And it’s in this odd but entirely appropriate conclusion, that Crowe embraces you with that theme and makes you feel the warmth and comfort of being in the moment of just enjoying life as it is.

“Elizabethtown” is an irresistibly comfy experience, it’s like reading a book while sitting on a big relaxing couch, or watching your favorite movie with good friends, or listening and singing along to a Journey record at maximum volume. It’s in this kind of familiarity that some might find contempt for the movie, but I say, what’s wrong with allowing yourself to let a movie take you away from your own worries and make you feel better about the world you live in? Kudos to you Cameron Crowe, for once again making me feel what it is to feel.

SERENITY

2005-10-01T23:18:00.000-04:00

cast :: Nathan Fillion, Gina Torres, Summer Glau...
writer :: Joss Whedon
director :: Joss Whedon

review date :: 10/01/05
written by :: suj
rating :: 10/10

THE PLOT_________________

Captain Malcom Reynolds finds himself running from a skilled Alliance operative who wants River Tam, and who will stop at nothing to get her; meanwhile, River's capabilities become more clear to the crew of Serenity.

THE REVIEW_________________

Joss Whedon is like a God to me. I'm a huge fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, and his current run on the Astonishing X-Men comic book. I also adored one of this most underrated of achievements, that being the short lived television series, Firefly. The show was a whimsical tale merging science fiction with western. It approached history, culture, and science in such an impeccable way (for a show set in the future). The characters were rich and the dialogue was grand. But alas all good things must come to an end, and the show was quickly canned and forgotten. That is until Whedon hatched a plan to bring his beloved television show to the big screen. Enter Serenity.

As a fan of show I thought the film did a really nice job of expanding and enhancing the mythology that had already existed. It also did a nice job in catering to fresh eyes with its opening ten minutes explaining and setting up what the uninitiated needed to know, exposition is the buzzword. The film picks up several months after the end of the canceled series. River Tam is a mysterious teenage girl who harbors a very dark secret regarding the ruling government known as The Alliance. She is rescued from a top secret base by her doctor brother Simon. The Alliance in a desperate attempt sends out a ruthless unnamed and “unofficial” Operative to get her back. While River and Simon find refuge within the crew of Serenity, a junk spaceship operated by Capt. Mal Reynolds and his “family” of former freedom fighters. And with that the film gets going with every scene pushing the story forward. It’s like an epic space soap opera, with budding romances, bewildering action pieces, and lush dialogue. Whedon is at his best when it comes to the long-term relationships with his characters. And here, he puts them through a world wind of trials and tribulations, abuse and torment; to the extent that when they are face with the ultimate test we are able to deeply empathize with them. It’s staggering at how well Whedon shapes his characters to you have you completely sucked into the drama of their journey.

Serenity succeeds like no other sci-fi film before, simply because it doesn't fall into and rely on the immense technological-jargon, strange theology, all in the hopes of creating an unnecessary understanding. It succeeds because of its astonishing space battles. It succeeds because it celebrates the power of friendship and collaboration, and how the world can be a better place if we stand up for our beliefs. It succeeds because Whedon has done something rarely seen in these types of movies: a great emphasis on its characters. And it’s because these notions that I had an amazing time with this movie. It felt like revisiting an old childhood memory and experiencing those joyful sensations and the sheer excitement of it all. It left me wanting more, wanting to experience more of the lives of these engaging characters, to branch out and be whist away into another adventure of pure grander. Serenity harbors the aura of an old school Western, putting you right in that sensational frame of mind and hitting everything it aims at. It’s continuously funny, it’s heartbreaking at the most unexpected of times; and its chock full of action and real danger every step of the way.

HOSTEL

2005-09-19T00:13:00.000-04:00

cast :: Jay Hernandez, Derek Richardson, Eythor Gudjonsson, Barbara Nedeljakova...
director :: Eli Roth
writer :: Eli Roth

review date :: 09/17/05
written by :: suj
rating :: 10/10

THE PLOT____________

Two American friends go backpacking through Europe looking for excitement, girls and drugs and all the stuff that you can’t find in America. Someone tells them that if they want to meet girls, they got to go to Slovakia where there are tons of beautiful girls who’ll have sex with anyone who’s a foreigner. So these two guys and their Icelandic friend go to this place, and it all turns out to be true; but then the next day they find themselves in a whole lot of trouble and we realize there’s something really horrible, awful and sick going on there.

THE REVIEW_____________________________

Sadistic, aggressive, unsettling, brutal, cruel, vicious, shocking, humorous, malicious, vindictive, spiteful, filthy, unpleasant, vile, entertaining, grotesque, fierce, disturbing, bloody, unhinged, ferocious, and disgusting, are just some of the words that can best describe Eli Roth’s “Hostel”. It’s brutal as it is shocking and for some it may actually be difficult to watch or perhaps even to stomach. It’s the type of movie no matter how old you are it will make you revert back to adolescence and squirm in your seat like a little baby. It personifies the genre of “Horror” and rejuvenates North America’s seemingly watered down plate to rival the genre films of Asian Cinema. Here, Eli Roth has made the most daring and profound horror film of recent memory.

If you’re thinking that this flick is going to be like Eli Roth's pervious work, Cabin Fever, let me make it perfectly clear that this film is NOT like Cabin Fever. I’ll go to the extent of saying its more like an insane doppelganger. It looks the same from the bloody exterior, but the gut-filled interior is far more intriguing. Sure, Hostel has the impeccable ability within itself to blend the laughs with the horror much like Cabin Fever, but unlike Cabin when this flick turns it fucking turns...hard. It becomes this hellish nightmare of blood, vomit, severed limbs, and even more blood. Its pure horror. Claustrophobic and real. Terror without becoming over the top. The violence is paced and lets you catch your breath. You experience the mayhem in the most uncomfortable of ways. Its carnage is suspenseful and scary. The story unfolds in such a way that you are able to follow, but it's not until the final act that you fully get what's going on. It doesn't fall into the predictable Hollywood clichés. And its best not to know a whole lot about the film in grave detail before seeing it as it will spoil all the fun, so I won’t dwell on the specifics of it all besides the essential plot (mentioned above). Though, I will say that it's exceptionally well-acted with a cast of, for the most part, completely un-knowns. Jay Hernandez is solid as Paxton the films “hero” and during the final act you can’t help but cheer. Derek Richardson is a damn talented actor and in particular scene he will make you tremble in your seat. Eythor Gudjonsson is a find as Oli a fun-loving, king of swing, Icelandic hitchhiker. And then you have gorgeous Barbara Nedeljakova as the films resident topless sinister hottie Natalya.

The film is just fucking glorious and horrific at the same time. I just can’t get over the fact that I love this movie so much. I just want to jot down every single moment that I adored. I want to spoil everything. But I won’t because I want people to feel the terror and joy in a film like this whenever it is released (although it will be trimmed down considerably by the ratings board). It satisfies and leaves you hanging on for more with its ambiguous close. It’s a movie that will have you talking about it long after you walk to your car still reeling from the picture show flashed upon your delicate eyes.

Now, for the big question: Are the mainstream North American audiences ready for a movie like "Hostel"? No, not really. Because people are too accustomed to horror films billed as thrillers all dishing out a “supernatural” premise. People are too accustomed to horror films billed as slashers all dishing out a manic masked killer who preys on innocent teens. The North American audiences are not ready for a horror film that is an actual horror film. A horror film in the sense of Takashi Miike (Audition) with the sensibilities of lets say Chan-Wook Park (Oldboy). It’s the type horror film that North America cannot make and that the Asian Markets put out by the dozens. But thanks to Eli Roth all that is about to change.

Eli Roth you are one sick mother fucker and I must applaud you for that. Thank you for making such a gruesome and fulfilling flick that I can’t wait to see again.

AS SEEN AT THE 2005 TORONTO INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL

notes: Special Effects weren't finished yet and also the film was screened as unrated.

THE EDUKATORS

2005-08-19T02:12:00.000-04:00

Cast: Daniel Brühl, Julia Jentsch, Stipe Erceg, Burghart Klaußner...

Director: Hans Weingartner

Writer: Katharina Held, Hans Weingartner

Review Date: 08/19/05
Written By: suj
The Grade: 9/10

THE PLOT_________________
Three activists cobble together a kidnapping plot after they encounter a businessman in his home.

THE REVIEW_________________

In today's day in age, all over the world, their are anti-capitalist demonstrators protesting outside fancy establishments informing its customers that its latest pair of brand name sneakers or the newest attire to hit the market were made by children in a Third World sweatshop. Soon, the police would arrive in an attempt to relieve the area of this tension and to drag the protestors abruptly away. And this is what "The Edukators" is more or less about. That we all must look to ourselves to breakdown the status quo and open the eyes of the world to the corrupt hole that it has become.

The film follows friends Peter and Jan who break into the homes of the wealthy and rearrange the furniture before leaving cryptic notes saying things like, "Your days of plenty are numbered." They don’t steal anything, but they do leave their victims aptly unsettled. Soon after, Peter's girlfriend, Jule (who later falls for Jan), gets tangled into the mix after a break-in to the house of, Hardenberg, a man whom Jule owes money goes wrong. This threesome make up the sole members of the Edukators, who are your quintessential rebels without a cause; they know the world is broken, but haven't the first idea how to fix it. They genuinely want to make things better, and their criticism of society's class differences is well-founded. They seek a need for action, any kind of action, in the postmillennial world, where individualism has trumped community.

Director Hans Weingartner harnesses the handheld camera polish which creates a sense of mischievousness that establishes a sense of ease and provides a suitable dance floor upon which its trio of young protagonists may dance. While, the script gets us on the side of the anti-heroes, then throws us into a mind-bogglingly difficult situation with them. And when the action shifts gears to a peaceful mountainside hideout, we are as unaware as the characters themselves. As for the acting, it’s grand. Daniel Brühl is the standout, he is mysterious and intriguing and Brühl is able to bring a certain depth to the character. And his scenes with Burghart Klaußner's rich man, Hardenberg, are a joy to watch. Also Stipe Erceg is compassionate as Peter and Julia Jentsch has a sort of Sarah Polly arua about her which is a thrill to watch.

The film gets rather preachy and long, but the fact that it possesses such strong material makes everything it has to say relevant. It asks us to examine the movement for social change and how it is often tied to the passions of youth, and how the enthusiasm that fuels it can also lead to its ruin. The results become a sense of purpose for the characters and instead of being any random film the "The Edukators" becomes meaningful.

DEAR WENDY

2005-08-18T23:02:00.000-04:00

Cast: Jamie Bell, Mark Webber, Chris Owen, Bill Pullman...

Director: Thomas Vinterberg

Writer: Lars Von Trier

Review Date: 08/18/05
Written By: suj
The Grade: 8/10

THE PLOT_________________
Its a tale of an 18-year-old outsider named Dick, who having recently lost his father, finds comfort and friendship in the unlikely form of a pistol. He forms a gang, the Dandies, whom all name their weapons, but they have sworn never to draw them.

THE REVIEW_________________

A film like "Dear Wendy" is tough to describe. It’s new, yet there is a nostalgic feel to it. It’s both wonderful and confusing. It’s imaginative and at points it borderlines cartoon-ish. Its message is precisely profound but oddly delivered. But if there is one thing that is for certain concerning a film like "Dear Wendy", it’s that I enjoyed it very much.

The film opens with Dick, a teenage boy writing a letter to Wendy and from the yearning and somber tone of his voiceover it would be safe to assume that this Wendy is a girl that he loved and a girl that broke his heart. From that amply beginning one is safe to assume that "Dear Wendy" would be about a tale of teenage love-lost and love-found. And in a way, the film is a kind of love story. We are taken to the first meeting and the early excitement of the romance to the betrayal and painful parting. But Wendy isn’t actually a girl, she's a gun. And with that the film plays like an old school Western with concerns for state-building, law-making and how communities are easily be corruptible, but in a very peculiar sort of way.

"Dear Wendy" takes place in a timeless corner, Electric Park Square, in a nameless American town. Dick, a sensitive loser, is transformed by the purchase of a second-hand gun. His new-found love of firearms has a strange, initially benevolent effect as he soon forms a small, underground group of similar ‘losers’ who meet in an abandon mine and together embrace the technology and power of guns but swear never to brandish them in public. The guns are treated as companions with the idea being that by successfully partnering with their guns they can understand them and, in turn, their guns will be true to them. They'll never misfire, nor see them come to harm. The band of “losers” declare themselves pacificists and call themselves ‘The Dandies’. The growth of their individual identities is one of, if not, the high point of the film. We watch them wallow in rituals, costumes and music (and whiteness a very cool title card/character introductions) to elevate the lives of each of them from the ordinary to the extraordinary. We witness the birth of a modern nation/society.

Acts one and two are all about exposition (like most films); it introduces us to the characters and their situations. We begin to understand them, their beliefs, and what their all about. It’s in the third act where it’s all put into action. The gang sets out on a smilingly good deed that soon becomes the catalyst to their demise. The nature of the end results action is so nonsensical, and the fallout from it so unrealistic, that all sense seems to run away. But what it does do is set up and straddles back to its Western pedigree as we are soon introduced to a good ol’ shootout that pits the gang against the law and their morals. My one grip about this dubious climax, though I did enjoy it all, is that it’s hard to see exactly how we reached this point and why.

"Dear Wendy" is a film that examines many questions like what makes a gun attractive, and the tricky issue of global peacekeeping. While it’s hard to decipher an exact answer from the film, it does do its business of asking and bringing up the questions to a relevant topic. Its guise is under a modern day western that’s whist way in dreamlike atmosphere which makes it all that much more enthralling. Added to the mix is a kick-ass soundtrack and love spouted out towards the underappreciated Zombies which increasingly makes the flick ooze all kinds of cool. And for those who know me, know that I’m a sucker for the voiceover and this film has it in spades. And at the end of the day it’s just a bewildering film that draws you into its metaphors.

STAR WARS EPISODE III: REVENGE OF THE SITH

2005-08-15T23:58:00.000-04:00

Cast: Ewan McGregor, Hayden Christensen, Natalie Portman, Ian McDiarmid, Samuel L. Jackson...

Director: George Lucas

Writer: George Lucas

Review Date: 08/16/05
Written By: suj
the grade: 1/10

THE PLOT_________________
The third and final installment in the Star Wars prequel trilogy (the sixth Star Wars movie overall). After three years of fighting in the Clone Wars, Anakin Skywalker concludes his journey towards the Dark Side of the Force, putting his friendship with Obi Wan Kenobi and his marriage at risk.

THE REVIEW_________________

It has been four months since Star Wars Episode III released itself onto the world and it has been four months since I watched this particular film. I recall upon that first and only viewing saying something like “It’s a good movie” or some kind of flattering variation of that said quote. But the more I think about it that proclamation was a bit premature, it was a quick assumption with no thinking behind it. Now, that time has passed and my thoughts aptly collected, my true sentiments can now be told: The film utterly sucked. Those who say it’s the best of all Star Wars flicks are lying or in some manner sucking the cock of George Lucas. You know that it sucks when the opening scroll has the word “WAR!” with a fucking exclamation point and you can’t forget the laughable cry of anguish spouted out from the newly constructed Lord Vader upon hearing the demise of his beautiful wife. It’s just all fucking ridicules. I’ve been had, owned, punk’d. The ten dollars and the some odd two hours of time that were stripped from me, I can no longer get back. I despise this movie with passion. I loved Star Wars and this film just poisoned the aura of the franchise. It's tainted without the hope of being fixed. It’s awful. I should give this movie a solid negative out of ten, but the fact Natalie Portman is in it (even though she doesn’t do much) I gave it a generous one. I’m not that bad of a guy, but I do fucking hate this movie.

I can go on and on about the suckfest that is this movie in more detail, but I lack both the time and energy to bombard this gathering of words with unenthusiastic quips and lashes of discontent. Instead I have included this lovely sequence of what growing grass looks like, because watching grass grow proved to be way more interesting than sitting though Star Wars Episode III.

2005-08-15T21:04:00.000-04:00

JACK'S MANNEQUIN

"EVERYTHING IN TRANSIT"

Review Date: 08/15/05

Rating: 10/10

Rewiewed By: suj

THE REVIEW:
I've always enjoyed the musical barrage of Something Corporate and when news came of an Andrew McMahon solo side-project I was deeply intrigued. His efforts in Jack’s Mannequin bring forth a feeling of knowing that this is right, that the music spinning out of the speakers has meaning to its mayhem. And in the simplest terms McMahon shows that he can do something completely different without interfering with his musical creativity in Something Corporate.

The album begins with, "Holiday From Real", which itself opens with sounds of a nearby beach, then suddenly the bass line slides on in like a ninja in the guise of darkness as Andrew's enchanting voice accompanies the flow. It’s a catchy song with clapping and swirling beats for one to boogie on down to like Cap'n Geech and the Shrimp Shack Shooters. Then you have "The Mixed Tape", which is the albums first single. It opens with a hazy riff and eventually erupts into an all-out kick to the ears and as you try to compose yourself you realize that you are now standing in the middle of a joyous rock song. The lyrics paint a beautiful picture of unique metaphors with the music being smooth in its time and sly in its changes of tempo.

My favorite track from the albums initial listen is "I'm Ready", as it opens with the spoken words, 'And today was a day just like every other'. The song perfectly blends the likes of Beck and Ben Folds. And in the song there is a nice bridge spit forth in spoken word form with singing laced over it, and its kicker finishes with the words 'And life had become a boring pop song and everyone is singing along', which holds bearing as everyone in the world seems to living and dying for the latest trends. Then we have "Dark Blue" which is poetic and beautiful personified and I hope to play this song someday from a boom box directed towards the bedroom window of girl whom may or not be Natalie Portman.

By tapping into the essence of the Beach Boys like John Stamos did in the early 90s we have the track "Ms. Delaney" which is just soothing in its 'Ooh wee oohs'. "Rescued", is your piano ballad, but unlike your typical piano ballad this song has a xylophone thrown into the mix that just makes things that more awesome. To close things out you have "MFEO", which is actually two songs put together into one amazing song. The first part, Made For Each Other, opens in a Zombies' "This Will Be Our Year" kind of way, until it picks up into a wonderful conglomerate of clapping, trumpets and a whole gathering of instruments that showcase a good time to had for both your ears and your feet. It’s a song that puts a smile on your face and makes you want to dance like Zack Morris and Jessie Spano did in the “Dancing to the Max" episode of Saved by the Bell. That song then shifts into its second part, "You Can Breathe", which is a lot slower but still follows suit in the rocking department. The album comes to an end with Andrew talking which then lends itself to the sounds of beach from afar.

Like I said in this reviews opening, the album just feels right. There is heart behind it, there is creativity behind it. And with Andrew's recent diagnosis it makes this album mean that much more. It’s an album of hope, beauty, and the calling to face life head on and never turning back.

2005-08-15T15:39:00.000-04:00

DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE

"PLANS"

Review Date: 08/15/05

Rating: 10/10

Rewiewed By: suj

THE REVIEW:
I'll admit it, the first time I had ever heard about Death Cab for Cutie was from the television show The OC with its subtle name drops that spewed form the mouth of the iconic character Seth Cohen. Soon After, I picked up several of their albums and from the get go I was awed at the brilliance that spoke through my speakers. I loved “Transatlanticism” and I loved “The Photo Album” even more with its track "A Movie Script Ending" becoming my theme song and aiding itself to several of my projects. As for the their new album, "Plans", I loved it as much as I loved “The Photo Album”, it hangs in the rafters of the bands burgeoning catalogue of tunes and shall be deemed a bright spot in their career of lyrical conundrums.

The album opens with the sounds of church organs which are then accompanied by Gibbard's soft touched vocals and the slow strumming of a guitar. It is here in this moment where I relished the joy of music that longed in the gap between this album and “Transatlanticism”. The song is "Marching Bands of Manhattan" and it sets the tone of the experience to come. In fact, all the songs play nicely and set a mood of calming relaxation and sorted romance backed by on-lookers desperate to feel that intangible feeling when one listens to an album like this. "Different Names for the Same Thing," has such an utter beautiful opening which should expel a tingling sensation to ones soul. My favorite track is "I Will Follow You into the Dark," which sounds like it could have been sung by the late great Elliot Smith. I'm sure that my favorite track off, “Plans”, will change from time to time, but the fact that I’ve been listening to Elliot Smith for weeks on end before listening to this album played into my initial determining factor. The song itself is Gibbard and the strumming of a guitar taking about romance that will bloom, "if heaven and hell decide that they are both satisfied." It’s just beautiful and I don't know what else to say to explain my adoration of the song. I also enjoyed "Someday You Will Be Loved", with its signature slow build to its massive big ending.

"What Sarah Said" is a gut-wrenching tale of love and loss that is told in complete sentence songwriting. This is the best song on the album. It has an ability to bring you to place of mesmeric romantics like a really good old movie that for some reason you’ve never heard about and when you watch it you fall in love with it. The song builds and builds until you to finally hear Gibbard spew out the lyric, "What Sarah Said", and right then and there its like that climatic moment from that old movie you've fallen in love with, it’s heart-breaking as it is beautiful. It is then all followed up by the lyric, "Love is watching someone die. Who's gonna watch you die?", which plays like the fading music form the very last scene of that old movie as the camera pans back and the images begin to fade away slowly until you are left in the dark. "Brothers on a Hotel Bed" is the first song in the Death Cab catalog that wasn't written by Ben Gibbard, but instead by guitarist and the album producer Chris Walla. The song sticks out from the bunch not because of the said fact, but because it feels like a bright shining star in already glaring sky filled with bright stars. The album ends with a re-working of one of Death Cabs older songs, "Stability", aptly renamed "Stable Song". It is still as moving and it is still as majestic.

And that is how Death Cab leaves us, they leave with their feelings of stability. They sound energized, but comfortable in their own skin. Death Cab has given it their best shot with "Plans." And all I’m asking is for all of you to give it a spin or not, because it really doesn't matter as the music will speak for itself.

2005-08-15T13:31:00.000-04:00

GREEN DAY

"AMERICAN IDIOT"

Review Date: 09/26/04

Rating: 10/10

Rewiewed By: suj

THE REVIEW:
Green Day has long been staple in the punk rock community. On the whim to try something a little different and to reclaim their status as the supreme beings of our generations punk rockers the boys of Green Day present to the world "American Idiot".

The result is an awaking of pure brilliance in the vein of a punk rock opera. It’s hard to believe this is the same trio that exploded onto the music scene more than 10 years ago with the release of their infectious album, “Dookie.” They’ve (along with Say Anything's "...is a real boy") reincarnated the long-dormant genre of the rock opera with the politically-charged story of the fall of the American dream and the disenchantment of its citizens. The album features characters such as Jesus of Suburbia, Whatshername and St. Jimmy. Where its star the aforementioned "Jesus of Suburbia" -- finds himself at a personal and cultural crossroads as he tries to forge an identity separate from his country's "redneck agenda."

"American Idiot" is the kick of track and the first time I heard it I wasn’t fan and thought to myself that the record would fall into the mouth of Ashlee Simpson to which she would proceed to suck. But after zillions of listens later the song grew on me like Pinocchio’s nose when he lies about not having a woody.

Next we have one of two nine minute epics the first, “Jesus of Suburbia”, is Green Day’s lyrical masterpiece. Describing disillusioned youth with the character of Jesus of Suburbia, as he proclaims lines such as “I'm the son of rage and love/The Jesus of suburbia/ From the bible of none of the above /On a steady diet of soda pop and Ritalin /No one ever died for my sins in hell /As far as I can tell.”

"Holiday" features Green Day’s middle finger raised high and mighty at the presidency of George W Bush and the uncalled for war. With thoughtful lyrics and infectious gang chants here and there of the word "hey" this song is a tune that will make you both think and rock out like its last day of the rest of your life. It addresses the erosion of civil rights following the events of 9/11 and the invasion of Iraq. "There's a flag wrapped around a score of men/A gag/A plastic bag on a monument," Armstrong sings, going on to declare, "I beg to dream and differ/ From the hollow lies/ This is the dawning of the rest of our lives."

The following tracks "Boulevard Of Broken Dreams" and "Are We The Waiting" slows the record down a little and demonstrates Green Day's ability stray away from the typical punk-rock anthems and displays the lighter side of things and in doing so its shows there not just a one trick pony. Next up we got the self-destructive in your face heart pumping rock em sock up nihilism of "St. Jimmy" and if your unable to move during this song you may very well be dead. "Give Me Novocaine" follows the jolt jumping Jimmy and much like "...Broken Dreams" and "...Waiting" its slow in pace yet oh so memorable.

"She's A Rebel" and "Extraordinary Girl" enhance the bands stride as an influential punk rock act. Where the former being riveting and righteously rad and drops names of cities which will surly become crowd favorites in both Chicago and Toronto, while the latter merges tribal drums and power chords, creating a sound both distinct and catchy. Next up is"Letterbomb" and it can be best described by the track titles second syllable, cause it truly is an awesome explosion of epic proportions. What is to come next is the bands most emotional track of this rock opera in "Wake Me Up When September Ends". Its about dealing with your past, walking through the flames of despair and coming to terms to the things you ultimately had no control of.

“Homecoming” the second nine minute epic showcases the eclectic influences of the album, including everything from gongs and marching drums to Beach Boys-esque harmonies and thrashing punk chords. And like "...Suburbia" it molds, blends, intertwines and assaults your ears with utter glee until you find yourself on you knees begging for more. The last track and or the finale of this punk rock opera is the tune "Whatshername" which perfectly ends the record and begs the question: What can Green Day do next to top this?

If the album had a core theme it would be that fear and apathy on personal, social and political levels are deadly. Sonic apathy is equally lethal. And to close out this torrid review is to leave you with a little play on words: don't be an "idiot" buy this record.

2005-08-15T13:27:00.000-04:00

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE

"THREE CHEERS FOR SWEET REVENGE"

Review Date: 08/04/04

Rating: 10/10

Rewiewed By: suj

My Chemical Romance will soon be on the lips of everyone in the world. Until then run off to your local record store pick up there cd's and jump aboard the chemical bandwagon before they become huge and only then you can say I knew them when...

'Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge' opens with "Helena" as it starts off with a little whispering from Gerard with some plucks of the guitar and a few hits on the skins until everything kicks into high gear and its then you'll know why this band will become huge. The song follows suit with its intro as it slows down dramatically for its chorus only to ride the staddle back up to where its needed. Track 2, tells you to "Give 'Em Hell Kid." The song starts with a nice little bass line followed by the muffled guitar and pounding drums that all come together like a sonic boom exiting from the arms of Street Fighter's Guile. As Gerard begins to spew out lyric after lyric you will find yourself trying to hold on to your marbles, trying to play catch up, trying to catch your breath during the chorus, trying to find medication as the song yanks you back up only to find yourself collapse to the floor where you lay helpless while you heart dances like a 5 year old on riddlin. As the song dwindles to its end the band goes all out in a steam of chaos as the instruments and Gerard screaming voice erupt into your speakers and its at this point you awake and find yourself in a ambulance heading to the nearby hospital.

As the ambulance rushes and run red lights "To The End" begins and as you hear the beeps of heart monitor your eyes start to close and everything gets darker and too the album gets darker. The song starts off with Gerard singing "the wedding party all collapsed in the room, so send my resignation to the bride and the groom, let's go down, this elevator only goes up to ten" and with the chorus of desperation also adds another touch to the song with lyrics like "would you marry me, would you bury me, would you carry me, to the end, say goodbye" He sings in a way that feels dark and mysterious of manner of style that gives it flavor that fits oh so well with this song. All of that backed by jazzy guitar (kudos for those menacing solos) and the pounding of drums release a feeling of searching for a way out, searching for way to open your eyes, searching for a way out of this ambulance.

As you sit on a rocking chair in the darkest depths of your mind stuck in a comatose like state "You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison" begins and this is surly the standout track on the album. The song starts off with lingering piano that has an old western movie soundtrack style feel to it. The piano mixed with Gerard singing "in the middle of a gunfight, in the center of a restaurant, they say come with your arms raised" is just a beautiful melody to the ears. Then comes in the guitar and the bouncing drums which follow suits with the pervious three songs in its ability to just kick the living shit out of you. The chorus is just blazing with speed and style like Luke Skywalker and his X-Wing weaving through the death star. And like Luke ready to fire the torpedoes there is no way to slow down, you can't get off for this, there is no stop, the song doesn't stop and if it does its only for a moment like the moment where Obi-Wan tells Luke to use the force and when the torpedoes are fired we all know the war and this album has just begun.

"I'm Not Okay (I Promise)" is the point of the album where you come in and out of consciousness as you lay still on a hospital bed while doctors run rapid to save your life. This song may comes off as being "poppy", but it sure is a catchy tune that stands out from the rest of the album. The song stands out because its here you sense the talent these boys posses, its stands out cause you believe. You believe Gerard isn't ok, he has something to get off his chest. The highlight of the song is where everything stops and with a little whisper Gerard sings "I'm ok .. I'm oooook" you believe in every hook. Now, as the doctors begin to give up on you as your heart begins to fade the very melodic "The Ghost of You" becomes the theme song of your demise. With its hypnotic riffs, soft drums, and the eerie voice of Gerard mixing together to call you towards the bright light. The song is slow compared to what you've heard pervious and has a very "chill" sound to it. The chorus comes in out of nowhere and is very "epic." The song leaves you alone, hurt, left out, the song is in all its meanings and simplicities is injected with the drug of pure emotion.

As you begin your trek towards the light in comes "The Jetset Life Is Gonna Kill You" full of distortion with its muting on and off guitar, and drums that make you jump like Kris Kross told you to do back in the early 90s. Then comes an interlude where you stop to realize that you have died and the light is beginning to fade and after 57 seconds of Gerard’s haunting voice you rush to the light before the gates of heaven are closed. The drums of "Thank You For The Venom" kick in and they are heavy and as the gates shuts in your face you fall down towards the underbelly of Satan's home. Gerard sings like man on a mission with line after line just spilling out. "So give me all your poison, and give me all your pills, and give me all your hopeless hearts, and make me ill, you're running after something you'll never kill, if this is what you want, then fire at will". The songs calm enough for you to sing-a-long with only to pound back into the verse. And fuck the solos are masterfully done.

Now you stand face to face with Lucifer himself ready combat in the ultimate battle of good and evil. "Hang 'Em High" starts off like western style beat with whistling in tow which sounds as if it could have been heard in Tarantino's "Kill Bill." Here Gerard starts wailing away like a madman by songs end backed by blistering speeds of instrumental glory. This song is insane as it is intense.

The fight has begun as Lucifer unleashes flames upon flames as you dodge them like Spider-Man dodging Goblin's pumpkin bombs."It's Not A Fashion Statement, It's A Deathwish" is fast and hard with loud drums and blazing guitars. At songs end you find inner strength and deliver a killer blow to the devil with horn as he falls to his death. At this point of the album is where your family gathers around your tombstone and how fitting the next track is called "Cemetery Drive", it starts with a drum solo and Gerard singing very softly and slow. This is a beautiful song and when you listen to the first 30 seconds you'll know exactly why.

You stand tried covered in blood after defeating Satan. Your looking up as your family sheds tears upon your grave site. "I Never Told You What I Do For A Living" sums up the album and band as a whole. Starting off with a heavily distorted guitar slide and the vocal stylings Gerard is known for. The brutally honest lyrics are quite the touch as well. Everything then just goes nuts. Every band member giving it their all. It’s like every natural disaster mixing together to destroy the world and not even Superman can save the day. The song slowly winds down into the background while we get some feedback 'til it goes completely silent....then you awake to find yourself on the floor, okay, as your discman states the batteries are low. The sun rises only to show hell on earth as Satan stands tall making his way to your house seeking what theme of this album is all about, revenge.

'Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge' is an album everyone must have for the simple fact that its good, unlike all the records coming out of this scene. So what the fuck are you doing sitting in front of your computer, get the fuck off your chair and buy this fucking record....or else!

2005-08-15T13:26:00.000-04:00

SAY ANYTHING

"SAY ANYTHING IS A REAL BOY"

Review Date: 08/05/04

Rating: 10+/10

Rewiewed By: suj

Lets face it today's music ain’t what it use to be. We are consistently saturated with generic pop, rock, and rap. The charts are controlled by teenage girls as evident in Ashlee Simpson's debut album hitting the number one spot in its first week of release. It just seems wrong to me that there is so much good music out there that's not getting the chance to be heard instead the general masses must hear corny love songs by rich white girls or wanna-be gangsters shouting about how bad-ass they are yet they live in mansions surrounded by endless amount of bodyguards. Music today just utterly sucks! I wish that we would be able to retreat to a simpler time where music was real. I wish we could capture its essence, its attitude and its honesty and sprinkle it upon the youth of today to show them why Elvis is the king of rock, why Bob Dylan spoke for a generation, why the Beatles made people believe, why music fed the soul and made every rotten thing about life seem like it was going to be okay.....alas I've seen the future and its filled with promise as music as we know it has its new savior and in Max Bemis and Say Anything we must trust.

Its in the simplicities in telling a story of life that makes music real and prominent like a new born baby opening its eyes for the very first time. Say Anything is unlike any band you have heard. With gruff vocals, gang chants, and blistering melody are fully enforced. There is a hidden genius in every line and its essential for the listener be able to sit back and soak in every poignant line spit forth from the voice of Max Bemis and then pause between songs, take a breath and open your eyes like a new born baby and come to realize its greatness. This album may very well become the soundtrack to our commercial consumed generation.

"And the record begins with a song of rebellion." is what Max Bemis states in the opening seconds of the album and its in those nine words that we are taken into a consequential storyline of brooding angst, hate, love, sex, drugs, life, which opens you up to an experience you will never forget.

By the first four song it will be clearly shown that Max has a decisive hold on crafting songs that do not follow a formula. With lyrics such as, “she took pity on me, horizontally, but most likely because of my band,” or “and she said I can’t get laid in this town without these pointy fucking shoes…” you can hear as it screams with brutal honesty and the gall of brilliance. It’s like nothing you’d expect to hear, it’s like the bold intelligence of Conner Oberst combined with the timeless essence of rock and soulful fumes of blues. The whole album is one of the most honest, gutsy, and original material to ever been grouped together. The songs combine, weave, and intertwine all of the above aspects into every riff, beat, and lyric.

The song, “Molly”, contains an infectious chorus and those beloved handclaps that haven’t sounded so sweet since Tom Hanks’ The Wonder’s had em in “That Thing You Do!” or in Mellencamp’s “Jack and Diane”. “Chia Like I Shall Grow” at its first spit of its first lyric made me completely shout out in awe of the band’s mastery ability of songwriting.

Its proven that every album must have its acoustic ballad and this cd is no exception. “I Want To Know Your Plan” is about the pain of knowing the one you love is leaving, and how do you deal with that notion. This is a beautiful song and I know sometime down the road I’ll find myself tucked away in the corner of my room with only the light of the moon shining on me while this song plays.

“And the album ends with a song of brilliance.” though Max doesn’t state those nine words it truly does suit. “Admit It!!!” concludes this imaginative album and I will guarantee you this song will go down as one of the most potent commentaries on our pseudo-hippy scene. After listening to this song there should be one of three reactions. One, you find yourself saying “fuck, that was brilliant” then like me you will dub this collection of music as the album of the year and listen to it over and over until you start to see some kind of Pat Morita incarnation teaching you the secrets of karate. Two, you find yourself saying “meh, that was alright” then you’ll probably enjoy the cd and it may grow on you. And three, you find yourself saying “I don’t get it? That was kinda of stupid” then you probably won’t appreciate the honesty of the music or you may in fact be Ashlee Simpson herself.

The truth is this, like I’ve said many times in this review this album is brilliant, honest, gutsy, witty, creative, and something we don’t hear everyday. So I encourage you all to please step away from what’s “in” right now in the music scene and just give this disc a listen cause it may every well become the greatest thing you’ll ever listen to this year and years to come.

2005-08-15T13:08:00.000-04:00

SENSES FAIL

"LET IT ENFOLD YOU"

Review Date: 08/04/04

Rating: 7/10

Rewiewed By: suj

The first time I heard this band was at rufio concert earlier this year and my first thought of them was that they were a lame rip-off of Taking Back Sunday, with clever lyrics, screams here and there, and the infamous swinging of the mic. But now after listening to his record I can say that they are indeed not a rip-off of TBS instead they have come into there own, they are Senses Fail.

"Let it Enfold You" is a highly creative album, sure a couple of the songs do sound similar, but fuck they are catchy as hell. The guitars are incredible and when backed by the pounding of the drums and the voice of Buddy Nielsen and his book of lyrical heartbreaks just makes the album flawless.

I'm sick of reading all the bull shit on the internet about Buddy's lyrics being simple, sure they are but sometimes we confuse that with creativity. Most times saying what's easy is the hardest to say. The lyrics are brilliant because Senses Fail puts a new spin on your average pop heartbreak song and that's what sets them apart from others in the music scene. There are stories intertwined within every song and yes the majority of them are about killing people, but there about killing people while your heart is clearly seen resting on your sleeve.

This album is filled with hard hitting hooks that I can't do justice in commenting you just gotta pick up the album when it comes out to hear exactly what I mean. Sure this album is more poppy then the "hardcore"-ness of their EP as people say, but the fact is I couldn't care less. "Let It Enfold You" satisfied my ears and filled me with musical glee, but will it stand the test of time? probably not, but for now it has found its place on a top my cd collection.

2005-08-15T13:03:00.000-04:00

NEW FOUND GLORY

"CATALYST"

Review Date: 06/27/04

Rating: 6/10

Rewiewed By: suj

I've been listening to NFG off and on for quite sometime now. From their absolute brilliant "Nothing Gold to Stay" to the pop-filled "Self-titled" and to the rejuvenated "Sticks and Stones", but in due time much like all bands in this genre (pop-punk) there songs become redundant and quickly fade into a memory. So, by the time the bands third studio release "Catalyst" was being recorded and gaining the much talked about hype of being more "harder" I found myself not really interested in this band and what they have to say simply for the fact that I kinda grew out of them. Their CD's rested in the dusty corner of my rack behind the likes Sum 41's "all killer no filler" and Not By Choices' "Maybe One Day" (I have no idea why I bought that album, I should burn it). So when the first single "All Down Hill From Here" made its debut on air waves a little spark ignited my interest into this band once again. The song was different, more faster, better lyrics, and fantastic breaks. With that I decided to check out "Catalyst" to see if NFG still has the stuff that made them so appealing.

By now everyone should know what NFG sounds like: the whiny vocals, the heartbreak lyrical themes, and the insane catchy beats that have the ability to keep you moving. So does "Catalyst" follow suit with the signature NFG sound? Yes with a little touch of edge, if you will.

The albums begins with 37 seconds of pure adrenaline rush then proceeds to the first single "All Down Hill From Here" and Like I said before this song is great it showed more depth and growth. The second track"This Disaster" opens with a few metalish guitar riffs as Jordan's vocals hit the air and the song continues in typical NFG fashion. The chorus is jumping and you can't help bobbing you head to it. As the song ends we move into "Truth of My Youth" a mellow track with fast spoken/sung vocals which are a nice touch. The verses are sped through at warp speed, and then the chorus slows to a mid tempo pace and just drills itself into your head. Next up is "I Don't Wanna Know" a much different NFG song then were all a costumed to. Its slow, its acoustic, it’s a ballad with lovely romantic strings. This is a good song, but I just can't help envisioning the likes of Simple Plan and Good Charlotte singing this song. But the one thing that sets this song apart from those suck-filled acts mentioned, is the lyrics...Steve Klein is a master at these types of songs.

Now, the next track is something I really enjoyed as it reminded of one of the best or if not the best song off of "Sticks and Stones" called "Singled Out" with its electro-pop sort of intro. The song "Your Biggest Mistake" swarms you like gang and pounds you to a bloody pulp to sing along. With a super-catchy chorus and a fucking cool break with Klein and Gilbert dueling away on their axe's, this song is a memorable one. "Doubt Full" is moody as heard in the crunchy sound the guitars make. Its an okay song, but nothing to write home about. "Failure's Not Flattering" is one of my favorite tracks off of this record for the simple fact that its just uberly-cool. It has nice melodic synths, catchy lyrics, nicely smooth vocals, its basically a song that will find you in the heart of summer running off in your backyard, taking your clothes off, turning on the sprinklers, and dancing away as freaked out neighbors say to themselves "what the fuck is wrong with that kid?"

Track number 9 "Over the Head, Below the Knees" opens with the line "you must not have a heart, nothing in your chest" - its dark, hard, an on the edge type of song with brooding guitars and Jordans vibrate vocals, but the song itself is utterly forgettable. "Ending in Tragedy" opens with the solemn sound of strings and a slow and melodic hum as Jordan beings to spew out some soft sung lyrics. Another slow balled with a strong chorus which rushes back to the calm mood it possessed in the songs intro. Next we get "At Least I'm Known For Something" which hits with thundering guitar riffs. This is a straight-forward song which would serve as great song for concerts as it has the obvious parts for crowd participation. "I'd Kill To Fall Asleep", rocks out with another one of those ever nifty intro things with Jordan backed by a piano spitting out the words "don't say its will stay this way forever" then a barrage of drums, bass, and guitars make waves to the speaker and proceeds to rock out with the occasional slow down. Then we get "No News is Good News" a great song that preaches about this deluded world of ours and how materialistic we all are. Finally we get to albums end, I loved the closer off the last album "The story so far" and well here on this disc they matched it with the perfect smoothing "Who Am I".

Sure NFG are kinda one-note with the exception that once in awhile they unleash something which surprises us all, unfortunately "Catalyst" is not quite that surprise. It’s a decent album and i did enjoy in small doses but in the long run only half of the songs spoke out to me and rekindled my joy in NFG. I just can't help to feel that there was something missing I'm not sure exactly what, but there was something.

2005-08-15T12:58:00.000-04:00

TAKING BACK SUNDAY

"WHERE YOU WANT TO BE"

Review Date: 08/04/04

Rating: 10/10

Rewiewed By: suj

It was sometime in 2000 that I heard my first Taking Back Sunday song. I was sitting around staring at my computer per usual scrolling through the wonderful facet we've all come to love known as the internet. While “surfing the net” I stubbled upon a site that had a featured download titled "Taking Back Sunday - Great Romances of the 20th Century" I preceded to download followed by a listen, and ended with me becoming a devoted fan. The song I believe was the demo version as it had this lovely intro from the movie "Beautiful Girls" where Rapaport's character spews his thoughts on how intoxicating the opposite sex can be. TBS was refreshing and exhilarating for as it was something new, something different, something not in the punk-pop genre which consumed me that the time. It had dual vocalist a unique sound and brilliant lyrics that the likes of blink, NFG, and all the other band that I was listening to could never comprehend. And since that day in 2000 all the way to this very day in 2004, TBS have been in the forefront of my musical likings.

After releasing there debut album "tell all your friends" in 2002 and while hitting the scene gathering a strong fan base everything seem to be going TBS's way that was until the summer of 2003 when some drama unfolded. Second vocalist and co-lyricist of the band John Nolan and Bassist Shaun Cooper decided to leave due to reasons I really don't know, but there’s dozen's of rumors floating around one of the most prominent involves John's sister Michelle and her relationship with frontman Lazzara. At this moment in time it seemed the entity known as TBS was done and over as the remaining members contemplated disbanding. But it was founding and last original member Eddie Reyes that pulled everything together to get the band back up from the grave. They recruited Breaking Pangaea’ Fred Mascherino to take over Nolan's position and accomplished musician Matt Rubano to strum away on the bass. Now, with TBS newly energized and having a new look on life it was ready to unleash its new found self to the world.

The new album "where you want to be" can be best described as being more "mature" I know a lot of people keep saying that as a band releases a new cd, but in this case its truly is the truth. Sure there still singing about the crime of heartbreak and the girls who commit them, but it has never sounded this good.

"Set Phasers To Stun" kicks off the record with a steady guitar cord repeated until a faded "say yes" is heard then from there the music blasts and continues to is unveil itself in TBS fashion. Lazzaras’ vocals embody an excitable tone as he yells out the lyric "I'm sorry it took me so long" and then continues into the first verse with subtle ease. The presence of Fred Mascherino voice especially in the second verse made me forget all about Nolan. The song is catchy and with a chorus that states the albums title this song is defiantly where you want to be. The second song “Bonus Mosh Pt. II” is something melodic as much its killer. With a cool as ice bass line and a chorus that is as booming as ever its really heard not to sing along - "...its love, make it hurt..." Following is "A Decade Under The Influence" which is also the albums first single. It’s a song that changes from a light summery song, to a bitter stating of how "anyone will do tonight". The best parts of this song belong the is Cure-ish sounding tone of the chouses "hell to you and all your friends" and Mascherino screaming his heart out "I got it bad" at songs end which you can literally feel the emotion coming from his scornful vocal cord. I have the say compared to all the tracks from the album this would have to be the weakest, I’m not saying that it sucks or anything its just compared to everything else it just doesn't hold its own.

Next is TBS' contribution to the Spider-Man 2 soundtrack "This Photograph is Proof (I Know you Know)." A song that has all the words and music to provoke feelings for that loved one. The next track is "The Union" a fast take no prisoners hard hitting of the third kind of a song. It also has a kinda electronic feel to it that only excels the song and the band to new territory. Beginning with Fred and Adam combating on the mic backed by the songs fast and upbeat nature which puts you under its hypnotic spell until its slows done where Lazzara sings"...I never made a scene, they came to me..." then picks right back up like King Kong himself grabbing you and climbing up the empire state building shaking you until your body becomes motionless.

Then the fast pace of album comes to a hault with "New American Classic" a sweet and beautiful a song. TBS's acoustic tune is one that makes you want to grab a trench coat and hold a boom box high above your head while standing below a girls bedroom with the moon overlooking it all. It’s a song that evokes emotion and at the bridge filled with its violins and guitars makes you contemplate what’s hidden within. Like I stated this is a beautiful song and trembles you the way Elliot Smith, Ben Lee, and Conor Oberst have the power to do.

Next is "I am Fred Astaire" which opens with blaring adjustments made to the amps then warps itself into raging guitars hindered by comforting tones while Lazzara serenades us with his soft sly vocals “I’m under the assumption that I gonna be the one that leaving you...tonight”. The song then continues to incorporate a combination of a perfectly soothing chours and equally soothing verses. Off of the lingering "...Astaire" we have "One-Eighty By Summer" a song that caters to the bitterness and a sense of revenge in relationship which creeps into the lyrics "...are you ashamed to say what you want to, tell me you want to...come on just say it". Its brooding as its intense and builds up into a bridge and outro that makes every hair on your neck stand up on end. Its also here that the dual vocals shine as both Fred and Adam exhange lyric after lyric with the occassional overlap to utter perfection. Also a high point of the song is where Lazzara sings the lyric "Why can't you just be happy" as you feel the emotion within his voice.

"Number Five With A Bullet" is a nodding your head in clam like manner song with a chorus that brings your feet a taping to go along with your head movements. You would think by the music the song would be a upbeat and joyous but with lyrics like "We're going to die like this you know, miserable and old..." reveals an intense and passionate song. Infectious this song is. The second to last song "Little Devotional" begins with pickscrape and guitars. Enthused and surprisingly catchy and with chorus that will leave you in shambles, literally. The last track, the albums closer "Slowdance on the Inside" is tame yet oh so memorable. With its poetic lyrics the song is a great a ender to a great album that fades with Lazzara and Mascherino shouting in unison "Tonight won't make a difference” But this album defiantly will.

The Drums and Guitars of Mark O’Connell and Eddie Reyes respectively are at their best, the bass of Matt Rubano are killer and no one in the scene can touch this cat. Fred Mascherino is absolute golden and makes you forget about that other guy, and of course Adam Lazzara is at his all time high on the mic and erupted the volcanic vocals onto this album.

This is solid record filled with all the TBS signatures the overlapping vocals, the instruments aloud, and the sly cleverness of their lyrics. The album excels the band in ways we all would never have imagined. Its "mature" in a way that its progresses from there first yet still maintains the freshness they had when they first made their way into the scene.

“Where You Want To Be” is a testament to the perseverance and talent TBS has and brings them to there true upmost potential, a great chapter in the book of TBS.

PS.
fuck the naysayers

2005-08-15T12:51:00.000-04:00

MIDTOWN

"FORGET WHAT YOU KNOW"

Review Date: 06/21/04

Rating: 10/10

Rewiewed By: suj

Midtown blasted onto the scene in early 2000 with the motto "hey, it's just rock and roll"and with branded across their chest they've never stopped. now years later with a past riddled by chaos of being dropped from record label and yet they've continued as band and crated their best record to date. They didn't see being dropped by a major label (MCA) as a failure instead it was more like a blessing in disguise to take a new lease on life and the music they make.

Backed by no record label Midtown was left to their own vices to create the record they've always wanted to, a record that would truly show who they are, a record not filled with the token-pop-punk track forced by a label, a record that would show what Midtown is all about. The album’s title, "Forget What You Know," is just that and when going into this album forget what you knew about this band because what your about to hear is Midtown stripped raw, eyes widened, and baring their soul.

The album begins subtlety with a slow building dark chant and its here within the first 5 seconds you know that your in for one hell of a ride. Once the chant ends you quickly are blown by cymbal crashes, and then the familiar vocals of Gabe Saporta. The song "To Our Savior" is hardhitting and makes you want to clinch your fist into the air with every shout of "so hard to believe what your looking for..." Then comes the first single entitled "Give It Up" and with a chorus that goes “Give it up, give it up, don’t fall for the same things, give it up, don’t fall for mistakes that I’ve made” it will be truly hard your to give this track up. This is song that will be playing on constant replay within your head. The pounding of its bass lines, the grungy guitars, and the ability to have all three singers blend their voices together is just icing on the cake of a great song. Also within this track we get our first glimpse of what this Midtown album is akin to accomplish - that is to blow your minds. This glimpse I speak of is a soft piano which fades into the background. The sounds, the gentle melodies, and the subtleness of it all is what makes both this song and the whole album a beautiful thing...

"Is It Me, Is It True", fits perfectly here on this track list as it slowly brings the pace of the album down and acts as catalyst into the minute long intoxicating piano instrumental "God is Dead." And just as you feel yourself getting settled "Whole New World" begins with guitars a blazing. Soon after the music fades low as the vocals begin to smooth you over in an almost Kurt Cobain kinda way. This is hands down one of my favorite tracks off the album as its just a straight-edged rock and roll. Next up "Empty Like The Ocean" hits with its opening line, “make my body motion” and the song does just that. Its musical treats to move your feets...

Now were at the midpoint where "Nothing is Ever What It Seems" begins in a way that closely resembles that of Jesse Lacey and the boys of Brand New. And with that in mind one can only imagine what a midtown/brand new song would sound...this my friends is it. Then we hit an “interlude” instrumental entitled "The Tragedy of the Human Condition" which is one best interlude I’ve heard in recent memory. As The vocals pick up we enter the mid tempo song "Waiting for the News" and with lyrics like “even though we sleep together, we’re alone” its really hard not to marvel at the greatness of this track...you'll know what I mean when you get a chance to hear it.

"Until it Kills" is another of my favorites off this record as its an acoustic of sort. mellow and soft, yet gathers together the undying rock. "Hey Baby Don't You Know that Whores" is fast and unforgiving with its pumped up guitars and occasional shouts of a hypnotic "hey!" The next track "Help Me Sleep" is straight up rock and roll and much like "Whole New World" it has that Kurt Cobain vide to it... Then comes "Manhattan" which parallels Brand New’s Tautou with its lullaby-esq mood which then progress to unleash the beast. Lastly the final track "So Long as We Keep Our Bodies Numb Were Safe" is the closest to sound like a track off of their last album "living well is the best revenge" except for the fact that its better then anything off of said album and it ends in trance that literally melts you down.

It’s a album like this that you realize that the band truly set out to create something beautiful, something crafted with the best intentions that being their own, and something that is crafted as much for themselves as for the general public. And in the end you’ll be playing air guitar, you’ll be pumping your fist, and you'll finally come to realize what you've been missing out in the world of Midtown.record up and learn from one of the originators.

2005-08-15T12:47:00.000-04:00

DESCENDENTS

"COOL TO BE YOU"

Review Date: 03/25/04

Rating: 8/10

Rewiewed By: suj

I hadn't known about the Descendents until the late 90s as I found out that they were the reason why blink 182 even exist. That they were the reason the whole pop-punk genre even exist. That they are the band which actually started whole scene that was beloved but now since been saturated by all things teeny-boppers and the crappness of both Good Charlotte and Simple Plan. True be told The Descendents are the greatest pop-punk band to have ever been conceived.

Their first cd "milo goes to college" was released in the early 80s and now almost decades later not one other pop-punk album can hold a candle the glory that was. Now after a couple of albums that followed not one could match their first, still they were great albums, but nowhere near the debut.

The last release was the catchy "everything sucks" back in 96. Now 7 years later the band regroups and unleashes an album that can very well combat their debut. "cool to be you" is filled with the tunes, the catchyness, and the tongue-in-cheek lyrics I have loved since I first heard my first Descendents album. Two of the most notable songs "'Merican" and "Mass Nerder" are sure to become the best political influenced song and the best nerd anthem respectively.

"cool to be you" is the best descendents album since "milo goes to college" and displays everything that gang has to offer. It shows after 26 years of rocking the crowd, pumping their fist, and cleaning their glasses that they still can hold their own with best of today's scene.

So, for all you so-called pop-punkers listening to your Good Charlottes, Simple Plans, Yellowcards, and hell even blink...take a lesson in pop-punk 101 pick this record up and learn from one of the originators.

2005-08-15T12:42:00.000-04:00

THE GET UP KIDS

"GUILT SHOW"

Review Date: 03/24/04

Rating: 9/10

Rewiewed By: suj

When it comes to surviving in the music industry you must be able to change, yet still stay true to the fans that stood by you when your journey began. This business can destroy bands, but with the thing about The Get Up Kids is that no matter what they do they know how to bring the goods to please their fans.

Through each of their albums you can clearly hear the growth more so evolution of the band. "Four Minute Mile" and "Something To Write Home About" both clearly showed their ability to capture its listeners with catchy lyrics with a emo sound fully enforced. They had signature compositions that can rival the best of the pop-punk world have to offer (that means you Green Day and Blink) and even so the emo world (that means you Brand New and Death Cab). The next album "on a wire" would show the bands progression of trying something new to change if you will, to show that their not just another pop-punk-emo band. "on a wire" slowed the tempo's down and unveiled a 70s rock influenced sound, but still showed the lyrics the fans have grown to love. Now the latest album "guilt show" is something special. It molds the excitement of the first two cds with warmness of "on a wire" and the overall glistening of Matthew Pryor’s “The New Amsterdams" (his side project which I suggest you check it out cause its one hellva album).

Like I said in the beginning a bands got to change yet still stay true and "guilt Show" is a fine example of that. A hybrid of all things Get Up. The cd opens up with the short yet sweet track "man of conviction" which has amazing breaks throughout out where the music suddenly stops then seconds later it starts back, bigger and better. What's great about this record is its use of keyboards and syths which just furthers the overall enjoyment of all the songs, There just ridiculously outstanding. The cd truly shows the best of lyrical content of all of their albums.

Listening to this album I don't know how The Get Up Kids will top it cause' its best I’ve ever heard.

2005-08-15T12:35:00.000-04:00

SOMETHING CORPORATE

"NORTH"

Review Date: 11/11/03

Rating: 7.5/10

Rewiewed By: suj

Something Corporate is back and in full effect with this new album entitled 'North'. their "official" sophomore release by these Orange County natives, is a step up from their previous efforts. Forget your immature-sing-along-tunes like "If U C Jordan" and "Drunk Girl", don't get me wrong there both amazing songs, but none of those types of tunes are showcased on "North". This album contains a completely different approach than any past releases by the band. The record showcases the more emotional, deeper, heartfelt side of the band with songs like "Down", "Miss America”, and my personal favorite “21 and Invincible”.

"As You Sleep" opens up the album introducing you to what the style of the entire record is going to be all about. The elegant composed piano and that emotional lyrics are exactly what this band should have done all along. Though past releases were also good including the stellar tracks stemming from 2002's 'Leaving Through The Window', "North" contains everything you have always wanted from this band, and throws out everything you didn't like.

Even though the piano is what SoCo are known for as their music is sometimes dubbed 'piano punk' and it was present in 'Leaving Through The Window', its nothing compared to how it is played on "North". The piano literally makes this album. "Me And The Moon" is a fine example of the power the piano has on this record. The track is by far one of the most impressive songs on the album.

It comes to a surprise to me that Something Corporate is so in tuned within the whole 'Punk' scene because this album is everything but that. "North" exemplifies Power-Pop at its finest, this is what makes them standout from all the other bands off their label, Drive-Tru Records.

This record will be their groundbreaking release and will bring the attention that they deserve. The fans will be so amazed with "North" and will never take the disc out of their CD players. The thing about this record is that the band doesn't need to scream all the time to show how much feeling and emotion is present in their music; the music simply says it all.

2005-08-15T12:14:00.000-04:00

BLINK 182

Review Date:11/10/03

Rating: 10+/10

Rewiewed By: suj

By now it seems that everybody in the entire world has an opinion on blink 182 on whether they are sell outs or not / punk or pop, but that's not the point right now its all about the music and the new album.

This album is not actually "Untitled" it really just doesn't have a title at all. Blink 182 just wants their music to speak for itself and refused to label it with a funny title in which they are known for (this album was rumord to be called 'use your erection 1&2'). There basically saying with this album, "this is Blink182 - the skin and bones." That's what the boys of 182 did, they created an album not for the critics or the fans, but for themselves.

The album starts with the lead single "Feeling This" a catchy song with darker undertones that sets the mood for the entire CD. The Standout tracks have to be "I Miss You" (Which i think personally, is the best song blink has ever crafted both musically and lyrically), "Stockholm Syndrome", "Easy Target", "Here's Your Letter" , "The Fallen Interlude", "Down", "All of This", "I'm Lost Without You", "Obvious", "Violence", "Go", "Asthenia", and "Always". Wait, did I just say all the tracks are the Standouts? Yup, i did. I just fucking adore this disc and its the one album that I have heard which every single track I can see as a single, there all amazing, outstanding, and most importantly good music. Although the track "All of This" is one to note as Robert Smith lends his vocals and I hope you just didn't say 'Who is Robert Smith? because if you don't know who he is, you should drop what your doing right now and run (not walk) to your neariest record store and pick up any ablum from the band 'The Cure' (my personal favorite is "The Head on the Door") and be whist away in a grand scale of musical joy. The album ends with "I'm Lost Without You" - an almost 6 minute ballad that is sure to bring back memories of that special someone. What is gone are the poop and fart joke songs, although I'm sure they will still run rampant in the live show.

When I first heard 'Dammit', back in early grade 9, It changed my life in many ways. As you see, two years pervious was a space int ime where I became a full die-hard fan of music with 'Our Lady Peace' storming the ariwaves with 'Superman's Dead' and 'Clumsy'. Later year later, I hate to say this, but i was a fan of the rap/hip-hop. I don't know why? but i'm blaming it all on peer-pressure. Come on, everyone no matter who you are were listing to rap with the rise of eminem and all, But I am glad that stage of musical taste is over and done with thanks to one band BLINK 182. Blink helped me open up to a whole genre that would eventually take over my life, musically. They opened me up to great bands such as aforementioned 'The Cure', 'The Clash', The Descendents', and 'NoFx' just to name a few.

Blink 182 will forever be my favorite band, their music will become the soundtrack to my life. This new album is the best I have ever heard of them. The CD feels like an old friend, something I can confide to, something giving me more hope, more dreams, and showing me that everything will be okay, telling me exactly what I need to hear with every lyric, every guitar riff, every bass lick, and with every beat of the drum. Blink 182, to me are what The Beatles were to our parents.

2005-07-19T01:07:00.000-04:00

IDIOT PILOT / strange we should meet here

reviewed date: 07/19/05
reviewed by: suj
rating: 9.5/10

A man amply dressed in a black suit holds a combative civil war sword and slides the tip of this glaring weapon onto the ground. He continues to slide it against the dirt until a line is formed. It is here where most people will be asked to choose a side concerning the fate of Idiot Pilot's Strange We Should Meet Here. On one side you have those who will not think twice when dropping words like "astonishing", "refreshing", "spectacular", and "ambitious". While on the opposing side the album would be best describe as a dismissed blatant rip-off of all things Radiohead. But, in my humble opinion Strange we should meet here is an opus that many will soon not forget, its an awe inspiring inducing hybrid of rock and electronica, with random screaming and keyboard loops that challenges the norm of today’s musical soundscape.

At first listen by the musical uneducated whose likings lean towards their specified preferences the term "different" is a well suited adjective to describe the experience. The majority of Idiot Pilot's sound is derived from the droning, equally melodramatic and melancholic, nightmarish proclamation of the aforementioned Radiohead. Aside from this comparison Idiot Pilot separates themselves with the back-in-the-day-video-game-sound palette of synthesizer effects coupled with pathological screaming. It's hard to say the likely reaction of a listener upon hearing these screams come into play during the droid-like moaning. It'll either be a mind-blowing climactic event or hearty laugh at kitschy composition.

The album in its whole carries a sonic boom to the ears and swarms itself in the face of exceptionality. You have a track like "A Day In The Life Of A Poolshark" which carries an infectious melody with the added effect of enforced screaming as the song dwindles into its uncontrolled climax. Then there’s "The Violent Tango" and "Open Register” that carry with it a smoothing sound that can be best displayed within the soundtrack to any John Hughes film. The tune "Nightlife" combines the aura of the Postal Service with the idyllic screams of Refused frontman Dennis Lyxzén. Then for something out of the blue the song "Militance Prom" dishes out a verse in rap form, and it’s actually pulled off quite well. And its here where words like "unique" and "insightful" can be dropped when talking about Idiot Pilot because there here not to enter the world of conformity and sound like every single band in this "emo" escalating scene, but to test the notion of being different in a world that fears anything out of the status quo.

Idiot Pilot’s Strange We Should Meet Here is an experience that will provoke an opinion from two distinct sides. One, that will find this collection of songs and dismiss it upon its first lick, while the other side will embrace it with open arms and ready themselves for what is likely to become a hand grenade to the world of conventionality.

2005-07-19T00:16:00.000-04:00

JUST SURRENDER / if these streets could talk

reviewed date: 07/19/05
reviewed by: suJ
rating: 8/10

THE REVIEW:

Just Surrender, formally known as A Second Chance, are deadset on becoming your new favorite band. With their debut album If These Streets Could Talk being paraded about through Warner’s Brothers sub label Broken English, Just Surrender will in time make their presence felt in your growing collection of compact disc and steer you away from utter boredom.

Just Surrender is a super hybrid of the best and brightest in today’s scene, think a combination of Taking Back Sunday's "Tell All Your Friends" and "Where You Want to be" with a touch of Yellowcard's "Ocean Avenue" and Armor for Sleep's "What to Do When Your Dead." The album leaps into the air like bird flapping its wings for the first time and feeling that tangible feeling that this is where I want to be. Everything is melodic as it is intense, everything is emotional as it is profound, and for the most part it is as if Adam Lazzara and John Nolan (of Taking Back Sunday and Straylight Run fame) patched things up and crafted together this wildly infectious atomic bomb of music.

"Tell Me Everything" is the album's first single and it fits the mold of what a pop/emo/punk song is suppose to be which is a song about love lost with an upbeat tempo. The music blends perfectly with the vocals which come off crisp and clear. Then there is "Our Work of Art" which begins with soft spoken vocals over the strumming of a plugged guitar then grows into a burgeoning landscape with a killer breakdown sung by the John Nolan doppelganger Dan Simons. "You Tell a Tale" starts off with some heavy and edgy riffs then its tempo forays into different moods until a barrage of intense screams from the aforementioned Dan Simons closes the tune off. "Is There Any Truth in Beauty" gives its listener a softer side with a pleasing acoustic track. The final tune "She Broke My Heart So I Broke His Jaw" is a joyous onslaught to your ears with its melodic screams that come from here, there, and everywhere.

Lyrically, these guys have tackle the typical topics like lost love, lies and heartache, but have written about these human trails and tribulations in a new and fresh way that doesn’t leave you feeling like you just finished chewing someone else’s gum. Vocally, they’ve nailed the dual vocalist, harmonized and synchronized ups and downs that make this style of music that much more pleasurable. They’re confident and strong, yet soft and sincere.

If you liked any of the Bands that I named dropped you'll surely dig Just Surrender. And like I stated in this reviews opening lick, Just Surrender are deadset on becoming your new favorite band.

HOUSE OF WAX

2005-05-10T18:29:00.000-04:00

Cast: Elisha Cuthbert, Chad Micheal Murray, Paris Hilton...
Director: Jaume Collet-Serra
Writer: Chad Hayes and Carey Hayes

Review Date: 05/10/05
Written By: suj
Rating: 6/10

THE PLOT:
On their way to a sporting event, a group of friends get lost in the backwoods and decide to camp-out for the night. When car troubles prevent their departure the next morning, they make their way over to a small, forgotten neighboring town, and its centerpiece: a house of wax figures. What they don’t realize right away is that these figures were once real human beings, and a madman is stalking the town looking for new victims.

THE REVIEW:
When they remade "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" I was really skeptical, but when I saw the supporting performances of that white tang top and tight blue jeans coupled with the beautiful Jessica Biel and the added effect of water, it was a thing of cinematic magic one can only dream of. So, when they decided to remake "House of Wax" with a slightly different combination of a white tang top and tight blue jeans this time being coupled with the more beautiful Elisha Cuthbert with the added effect of melted wax, there was only one question that jumped around in my head: Can cinematic magic strike twice? Yes, yes it can.

By no means am I saying that the remake of " The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” was good nor am I saying the remake of "House of Wax" is any good, I’m just saying that both films exuded the right amount of thrills and convoluted characters to keep me entertained. It’s also safe to say that this Elisha Cuthbert affair is a good antidote to the supernatural genre crud that’s been clogging up the theaters recently.

I really love those mindless horror flicks that don't really do much for substance but rather their in it for the sole purpose to keep its audience entertained and this film did it in spades. "House of Wax” skips along inside its traditional horror trappings with eagerness and a rare lack of cynicism or pale ghost children. It’s a fun piece of horror entertainment that isn’t bogged down in frantic style or pace. In fact, the film takes its sweet time getting up and moving, with a full opening 40 minutes passing by without anything scary or suspenseful occurring. Its great to see a "horror" film take its time to set up its characters and situations rather than bring out the blood and gore for the sake of bring out the blood and gore. Because of its leisureness the film maintains its raveling mystery within the abandoned town location. Also the killings are wildly graphic and inventive with foot slashings, finger cutting, and an assortment of wax and glue related mayhem.

The director, Jaume Collet-Serra, is wise to keep Hilton away for most of the movie because Paris Hilton can't act worth shit. I really can't see this chick’s appeal because she's fucking ugly, so ugly to the extent that every time her face flashed upon the screen I often heard a faint sigh in my pants. Luckily, Elisha Cuthbert was the films star and with this reviews opening lick I’m happy to say that when she popped up on screen the sigh in my pants erupted into profound joyous screams. It’s also worth noting that Elisha Cuthbert is damn fine actress in this genre as she gives off a strong dose of enthusiasm with her Jamie Lee Curtisesque performance.

Eventually and unfortunately the film falls apart in its finale. The film takes on too much plot to end efficiently, and in place of a speedy, thrilling closure, we get a drawn-out capper that is a bit too poetic (in a high school creative writing class kind of way) and technically extravagant to be anything more than a complete drag. Nonetheless, Wax did everything in its power to satisfy the longing need of some bombastic gore and the perky breast of Cuthbert and with that I am pleased.

CRASH

2005-05-10T18:07:00.000-04:00

Cast: Don Cheadle, Matt Dillon, Sandra Bullock...
Director: Paul Haggis
Writer: Paul Haggis

Review Date: 05/10/05
Written By: suj
Rating: 10/10

THE PLOT:
A car accident brings together a group of strangers in Los Angeles.

THE REVIEW:
You know those movies that receive an absurd amount of critical praise, yet nobody has actually ever heard of the film? Well, "Crash" is a movie that can be sandwiched with the rest of those bottom self dwellers etched with the seal of approval of the scenes top critics. Though, I believe “Crash” will get more attention as time goes by, with word of mouth, the amount of screens it plays at will grow dramatically and it’s rightfully so because this here flick is something devastatingly profound, emotionally moving, cringe fully frustrating, and most arduously intriguing of an experience.

Paul Haggis, best known for writing that cheerful gem of a movie called “Million Dollar Baby” A film to which I refuse to watch simply because that’s just how I roll, delivers a masterful movie going experience with “Crash.” It’s a movie that covers a multitude of arguments and ideas, as its theme centers on the contemplation of faulty human communication. The film dives into and suggests that people have grown cold to affection and respect, instead immediately using hatred and paranoia as a way of communicating with others.

By using the city of Los Angeles as its backdrop, the film is able to explore the intense racial loathing and disorder that plagues the city and because of that the setting is able to instill the film with a realistic take on racial claustrophobia. It’s kind of fitting because if you were to place “Crash” anywhere it else it wouldn't make much sense. The film makes Los Angeles look like hell on Earth. Yet, Haggis doesn’t give in to that fear, and manages to find a palpable sense of hope behind each and every door, person, and the shattering of cultures, and furious intolerance.

The film’s glory and much praise come from its ability to balance the melodrama and realism in such a seamless way. Its here that the movie really gets it, really understands the situation and knows exactly what it wants to do and succeeds in that notion in more ways than one. Haggis and his brilliant cast often perform loudly and uncomfortably to generate the sickening feeling of despair and it’s both endearing and scary of how much power each word or action holds when it’s spit forth. This is a film that deals with blinding rage, and while the story dangerously straddles the line between cartoonish and insightful, Haggis never lets the tone go to the extreme. He keeps the truth of the situation bubbling behind every scene, and exploits the audiences’ own personal prejudices with his scripted moments of aggravation, bitterness, and incorrect racial assignment. These characters aren’t simply evil people, just products of their environment, family, and frustrations; they ache in very human ways to connect and protect, but are stunted by their own fears and anger. Haggis’s script marvelously connects the many stories through an often used multi-character, crisscross structure, and with that the cinematic cleverness of it all is erased instantaneously by the emotional volcano that routinely erupts with every frame.

As the film moves along, “Crash” grows stronger and stronger, until it feels that the screen has become one with the audience. I dare anyone not to recoil in horror as Jean yells about the untrustworthiness of a Mexican handyman, or as Anthony decries the negative Caucasian viewpoint of African-Americans while carjacking any automobile he can (props goes out to Ludacris, who really surprised me). In addition, some might feel the need to reach out for some tissue or perhaps even heart medication after witnessing Daniel and his angelic daughter at the business end of a gun in the picture’s best sequence.

The events in “Crash” roll forward without stopping, at times unbearably, yet they register strongly with their frankness and integrity. The honesty might be uncomfortable to watch, but through Haggis’s careful vision, the picture is one of those "must see" films.

SIN CITY

2005-04-03T13:26:00.000-04:00

Cast: Mickey Rourke, Bruce Willis, Clive Owen...
Director(s):Frank Miller, Robert Rodriguez, Quentin Tarantino (guest)
Writer(s): Robert Rodriguez, Frank Miller (comics)

Review Date: 04/03/05
Written By: suj
The Grade: 10+/10

THE PLOT_________________
An adaptation of Frank Miller's graphic novels based in the fictional town of Basin City and its seedy residents.

THE REVIEW_________________
It’s very easy for someone to call a movie good or bad. But what happens when that one particular movie comes stumbling in that totally rattles you uncontrollably and makes every single bone shiver. A movie that straddles you onto the ground and continues to kick the living shit out of you punch after punch to the face till you become unrecognizable to your parents and to every one you love. And when your left on the ground all bloody this particular movie slowly pulls your pants down to your ankles and gives you the best blowjob of your entire life. A blowjob that would make the talents of Jenna Jameson and her troupe of cocksucking companions seem like childsplay. This meticulous scenario has come into play in the life that I lead and that particular movie whichI have mercifully come face to face with is "Sin City" and I welcome it with both a feverish grin and an enormous erection.

For a cat like myself and many other folk who have read this films source material (that being the graphic novels written and drawn to utter amazement by Frank Miller) I was deeply enthralled by news that Robert Rodriquez who is one of the coolest and one of my favorite filmmakers it the scene (just watch his films or his little 10 minute how-to extras implanted on his DVDs or hell just listen to the man talk he's fucking cool) along Frank Miller himself were going to adapt these fantastic works of literature to the wonderful facet of film. You see the SIN CITY novels come across as somewhat of a testament of the greater good the comic world has to offer. It’s from its pages that one is able to see that this medium people often make fun of and call “childish” has evolved into something truly breathtaking and memorable.

So, after watching "Sin City" twice in one day (Yes, I know I am a BIG fucking NERD) all I can muster up in this here little sentence of this here jumbled up words that will eventually make up one enormous salivating blob of total and utter geekdom is - this movie rocks....fucking hard. You really have no idea unless you've actually sat down and let your eyes be consumed by the marvelous images up upon the silver screen, it’s that fucking good! I mean it’s THAT fucking good.

What more can I say? This movie is a masterpiece. It's the most visceral movie experience I’ve had in a long while, as well as being my new favorite comic book movie of all time. I loved the books and its only fitting that absolutely loved this movie. If I could I would make sweet passionate love to it, undressing it inch by inch with my eyes and then slowing and surly fuck it like a movie has never been fucked before. Yes, I am a fucking weird-ass individual, it’s just that after watching this movie it as consumed with feeling of wicked excitement that I think will never leave my grotesque body.

The film adapts three of Miller’s yarns: THE HARD GOODBYE (initially just called sin city) which follows Marv on his quest for vengeance after Goldie, the one good thing in his life, is murdered next to him. THE BIG FAT KILL sees Dwight, a murderer with a new face, as he teams up with the prostitutes of Old Town to deal with the potentially fatal repercussions of killing dirty cop "iron" Jack Rafferty. And finally THAT YELLOW BASTARD where the only decent cop in Sin City, John Hartigan, squares off against Senator Roark as well as Roark's vicious, child molesting son Junior in an attempt to protect young Nancy Callahan. Additionally, these three stories are book ended with short scenes dealing with Josh Hartnett's hitman character, the first being a direct adaptation of the one shot "The Customer is Always Right" and the second being one made up for a nice fit to the films end.

Robert Rodriguez has crafted a film that is visually stimulating. The use of HD is virtually lush, with great, rich blacks, greys, and whites. It looks like the bastard son of all the great '40s noir films ever made and I mean that as a compliment. Not only does Rodriguez harness the HD technology to its glorious high, he also tops Kerry Conran and his digital work on Sky Captain. About 90% of all the sets in this movie are CGI'ed, but they feel oh so real. The characters interact with them, rather than around them. Also the movie feels like they just simply extracted Miller's comic’s panel by panel and brought it to life. Visually, it IS the comics, it even goes as far as using Frank Miller's signature white silhouettes that look beautifully striking on both page and screen. A fine example of this is when the Josh Hartnett character kisses Marley Shelton atop a balcony on a rainy night. I've always been a fan of Rodriguez's directing style, but here, it truly seems like he gave the camera to Frank miller and said "you know this world, you direct it." and Miller hit the ball out of the park.

What makes a movie great is not only in its visuals and story, but also the team of actors that band together and keep you enthralled to the very last frame. The actors within this fine film not only bring forth pleasing performances, but also bring to life the characters Frank Miller had created on paper.

Mickey Rourke as Marv is just fucking astonishing even Frank Miller proclaimed that "Rourke is Marv," and he's dead on in his assessment. Rourke is not only simply being faithful to the look and sound of Marv he also seems to captures the man's soul and it’s a wounded one at that. He makes us feel his pain in the loss of Goldie, his worries that he might be losing his sanity, and all of his primal anger. But, under it all, Rourke manages to make us see the essential good in Marv. In a way, it's almost like Marv is this tortured angel; a hard, scarred, tough as nails SOB, but with a good soul nothing can touch. With this performance Rourke is back with a vengeance, and should garner much acclaim for his work.

Bruce Willis, for the first time since Unbreakable seems really alive in his work. He’s magnetic, restrained rather than bored, and so intense in his pursuit of justice that you can't take your eyes of him. He’s weary, broken-down, and almost dead, but he knows what's right and will stop at nothing to do so. Willis's Hartigan is one of his best roles ever.

Clive Owen is quickly becoming one of my favorite actors in today’s scene and when news came that he was going to be portraying Dwight McCarthy (who happens to be my favorite character in the Sin City books) I was ecstatic. Owen exudes the characters essence and lack of a better word (if it is even a word) badassness. He captures Dwight's righteous fury like a professional and aces reading Miller's hard-boiled voice overs. After watching his performance I’m anxiously awaiting to see A DAME TO KILL FOR and FAMILY VALUES make its way to the big screen and even though the former sees pre-surgery Dwight I’m sure they can mustered up a little something for Owen’ face because to me and to many he IS fucking Dwight.

Now, on to the women of Old Town. The broads, the babes, the dames, the dolls, those gals who oh so made smile in delight at their presence, their beauty, and their viciousness. Jessica Alba is sweet and innocent as stripper extraordinaire Nancy Callahan and all too pleasing to the eyes. I just wished that Alba could have took the initiative to go all the way and make a direct adaptation of her character that being she goes topless. Because fuck, she does play a stripper in an R rated movie based on a fucking cool-ass Graphic novel that portrayed Nancy as THE stripper, but nonetheless I enjoyed her performance for what it was. Rosario Dawson on the other hand is just has the tagline on her poster reads - Beautiful and Merciless. She seems happy to be having fun while relishing the chance to kill lots of people and dress like the hottest bondage girl you've ever seen. Jaime King is a stunning beauty with shades of stunning brutality. Devon Aoki nails Miho dead on...literally. Brittany Murphy, though acting a little too overboard still manages to whist me away into her black bra and yummy boldness. Marley Shelton shined like a classy dame making her way through flashing cameras. Carla Gugino is subtle and sweet and the most naked dame in this flick. And then you have Alexis Bledel, who in my eyes steals the show right under all the gals of Old Town’ lethal feet. Her role may not have been big or juicy, but she displays herself as the classic femme fatale with such bitter sweetness.

To round out the cast you have Michael Clarke Duncan who always fares best in bad guy roles, and scores here as well. Rutger Hauer and Powers Booth are magnetic in their small amount of screentime. Also look out for Nicky Katt, who has the films most funniest moment, you'll know it when you see it. Then you have the three most menacing sleaziest villains of this here damn flick with the likes of Benicio Del Toro, Nick Stahl, and Elijah Wood. Del Toro is creepy, over-the-top, and I loved every minute he was on screen (the Tarantio sequence – Brilliant). The fact that he gives his all in a small role like this really shows the passion he has for the craft. Stahl is cornering the market on playing twisted young men and it's a tribute to his skill that Junior is just as hideous before his "change" as he is after. And Wood? I’m just gonna say that little Frodo Baggins is dead, with this one performance; he is simply terrifying and disturbing. And lastly there is Josh Hartnett as THE MAN, a hired gun, a hitman. For me, he oozes cool as the bookend character of the film, the character is charming in a way that Bond is, but this here is no James Bond. He is a sophisticated menace, clam in his cool, and deadly in his art.

SIN CITY is not like anything you’ve seen in theaters it is not like any comic book adaptation you’ve ever seen. Each panel is stripped down, each frame is saturated. This isn’t reality. The dialogue isn’t realistic. SIN CITY is populated with the subconscious credentials of those we deem anti-heroes. This is a vision of paradise decaying with grandeur and decadence. The characters spout out with force and erupt with the sort of high living and dying dialogue that gods speak before killing and fucking. This movie is all one can ask for a cinematic experience. Its the type of burgeoning killswitch to your five senses: burning your eyes till your pupil pops, pealing away your finger tips till the veins begin to pulsate, your eardrums collapse to the floor and flounder life a fish out of water, your nose seizes to smell that disturbing odor, and the taste buds on your tongue fall out one by as if it were snow in the early hours of the first day of winter. All of which then exposes your naked self into a new world, a thrilling experience, an ecstatic sensation. From the very first frame to the end credits this film dares you to watch through the gaps of your fingers, dares you control your bowel movements, dares you to seek out the urge to stand up and shout aloud at its pure glory. And as you exit the newly lit theater and begin to hearing all the chatter among your fellow patrons you leave with that naughty laugh swash buckled in the depths of your hell bent head knowing that you have experienced something meticulously profound.

Like a romantic movie playing in the background, rose peddles scattered along the floor, and a couch shared between lovers – you sitting in those uncomfortable theatre seats with Robert, Frank and the actors and artists on the screen – each celebrating the sheer joy of the experience. SIN CITY explodes to life like newly born baby, opening its eyes for the first time and seeing something magical.

Thank you Mr. Miller and Thank you Mr. Rodriguez.

HOSTAGE

2005-03-27T23:59:00.000-05:00

Cast: Bruce Willis, Ben Foster, Kevin Pollak...
Director: Florent Siri
Writer: Doug Richardson, Robert Crais (novel)

Review Date: 03/26/05
Written By: suj
Rating: 7/10

THE PLOT:
A failed police negotiator turned small town cop, must save the lives of a family held hostage, which draws him into a much more dangerous situation.

THE REVIEW:
"Hostage" starts off with a bang after some very cool and stylish opening credits. Then we pick up and open our eyes to a bushy-bearded Bruce Willis smack dab in the middle of a tense L.A. hostage situation as the film sets off on the right foot of suspense, catastrophe, and thriller theatrics from the get go. Though the picture does appears to understand its straightforward charms, utilizing highly charged anxiety for a rock 'em, sock 'em launch that promises so much it eventually splits into three movies.

The first version of "Hostage" is the film that French director Florent Siri is making as the man appears to be under the strange impression that he is making a horror film. He elects to use dark angles, shock jumps, and mostly every other horror movie cliché and by doing so it shows that Siri isn't on the same page as the material. Though, this mixture of genres actually works in the film's favor as it elevates the material away from its sticky, hackneyed roots.

The second version of the film is in its acting while the lead is straight out of action flick the supporting characters play out as tomfoolery psychopaths. With this film Bruce Willis returns to the genre of his best work. Jeff Talley is a character not unlike "Die Hard" John McClane; a role that digs deep into psychological readings as well as guns o' plenty. Willis is always great as the tortured cop. As for the cats that play the criminal’s in the picture, Flash Forward’s Ben Foster and 100 girls’ Jonathan Tucker are spittle-drenched and gorged with brood. Foster and Tucker add an unexpected comedic element to the film with their wildly over-the-top performances that made me both laugh and cringe and their stupidly and psychotic bearings.

The final concoction of "Hostage" is seen through composer Alexandre Desplat's welcomingly thunderous score. The frantic music goes above and beyond the call of duty, assisting Siri in his quest to create a mixture of different manners and moods to the picture.

The films finale spins completely out control, with burning bright fire, broken glass, and a slow-motion conundrum, that makes the film a unique thriller in an ambiance of boring cliché. The scripting is interesting, and Siri's strange, unaware direction keeps the film cooking at a high heat. A good film to waste few ticks off your clock and few bucks out of your slowly dwindling wallet.

BE COOL

2005-03-27T23:30:00.000-05:00

Cast: John Travolta, Uma Thurman, Vince Vaughn...
Director: F. Gary Gray
Writer: Peter Stienfeld, Elmore Leonard (novel)

Review Date: 03/15/05
Written By: suj
Rating: 6/10

THE PLOT:
After conquering the movie business, Chili Palmer (John Travolta) grows weary of the cinema, and switches over to the music game when he gets a chance to team up with a friend’s widow (Uma Thurman, entering the film in a very memorable way) to run a record label. After finding gold in a talented young singer (Christina Milian), Chili must first retrieve her recording contract from her shady manager (Harvey Keitel), outwit a dim, thugged-out-whiteboy wannabe producer (Vince Vaughn) and his homosexual, aspiring actor bodyguard (The Rock), negotiate a settlement of debt with a Suge Knightish producer (Cedric the Entertainer) and his gang (including Outkast’s Andre Benjamin), and try to outsmart some Russian gangsters who are hot on his tail. All in a day’s work in the record industry.

THE REVIEW:
Be Cool...Just Be Cool...If you've seen "Get Shorty" and liked it you'll surely enjoy this entry into the bevy of films situated in your local theater. The film posses a sense of hilarity, surprising performances, a pulp fiction moment, Uma, and of course Vince fucking Vaughn.

If the traditional goal of a sequel is to replicate the original experience while making it all seem new again, director F. Gary Gray certainly accomplishes that with this film. “Be Cool” still contains that classic Elmore Leonard mode of guns, hoodlums, masses of characters, and all their double-crosses, but the setting has been changed from "Shorty's" film industry to that of the music industry, which Gray, a former video director, seems to know something about. Gray deftly evokes the treacherous Southern California music scene, yet keeps the story light enough to succeed as a zany comic caper too.

John Travolta once again exudes cool as Chili Palmer and as per usual Uma Thurman is fucking ridiculously pleasing to watch. But what makes this movie worth the money and time is in its supporting cast. Cedric the Entertainer, The Rock, Vince Vaughn, and hell even André 3000 bring forth some very hilarious scenes to the extent that every time one of these actors stumble their head onto the screen they virtually own the moment. I don't personally find Cedric the Entertainer funny, but in this flick he made me laugh along with Outkast' Andre 3000 as Cedric's trigger-happy nephew. The Rock was a big comedic surprise especially in a scene where he dished out a monologue from "Bring It On". The true showstopper/scene stealing was Vaughn' character, played with appropriate homeboy bluster by the actor. The character isn’t exactly an original creation, as cinema has had its share of white boys acting like black rappers recently, but Vaughn’s dedication to the role is absolutely hilarious.

In the end “Be Cool” is a solid, funny, groovy return to the screen for Chili and his wacky west coast adventures, and is a decent follow-up to the original film.

CURSED

2005-02-27T10:05:00.000-05:00

Cast: Christina Ricci, Jesse Eisenberg, Joshua Jackson...
Director: Wes Craven
Writer: Kevin Williamson

Review Date: 02/27/05
Written By: suj
Rating: 5/10

THE PLOT:
Ellie (Christina Ricci) and Jimmy (Jesse Eisenberg) are siblings living humdrum lives in idyllic Los Angeles. Once night while driving home, the two are bitten by a werewolf. Now possessed with a taste for blood, a heightened sexual allure, and marked with a pentagram on their palms, the pair struggle to understand their transformations, hoping to find the werewolf that started it all in an effort to save their own lives.

THE REVIEW:
To begin this soon to be mess of jumbled up words that faintly resembles a movie review I just want to say that Wes Craven and Kevin Williamson's pervious collaboration, Scream, is one of my favorite movies of all time. Some people describe that trilogy of films to be a cheesy raunchy teen fest, but to me the first installment holds a special place in the depths of my black heart. You see, in between the 6th and 7th grade I wasn't all obsessed with movies as I am now, I was mainly into FOX's Saturday morning line-up. Then on one particular weekend I stayed over at my cousin’s place where they rented the movie Scream. Upon its first viewing I absolutely loved the film and continued to watch it again and again over the weekend. The months that followed my obsession of the film grew and grew and a few of my dear classmates can attest to said obsession. Scream open the door to all the great films around the world, sure that’s an odd comment to make, but it’s true. Scream was the catalyst to my un-holy devotion to the wonderful facet of moving pictures.

So, when news came that Wes Craven and Kevin Williamson were going to re-team and unleash a long-awaited follow up to their pervious glorified collaboration I was giddy as a school girl. This new film, “Cursed,” was a modern day take on the legendary werewolf tale. I thought this was going to be another viewing of orgasmic pleasure, but when filming came about and the finished project was done and delivered it didn’t come out quite the way Dimension Films wanted it to. So, the production was ordered back with a reconstructed script, re-cast roles, and in the end they shot an entirely different movie. To make matters worse, in January, the film was re-cut again to tone down the material from an R rating to a mall-friendly PG-13.

Watching this newly finished product is like opening a jigsaw puzzle box and finding only one piece to work with. “Cursed” is a thorough mess from opening to closing and it pains me to say it, but this film takes Craven on a career-ending ride and reminds the viewer what a hack Williamson truly is. Everything in this movie has been done before and I liked it better when it was called "Scream". Wes Craven is indeed a genius, but here he proves us otherwise as the film looks more like a bad WB TV movie then an actual theatrical release. What Kevin Williamson has done here is that he collects storyline's from everything he has ever done, be it that the high-school jock is gay (as seen in Dawson's Creek) or in the impeccable Hollywood in-jokes (as seen in scream) or the 'who is the killer' theme (also seen in scream) and a slew other references to this burgeoning resume.

While Christina Ricci is a young beautiful actress with luscious eyes one can get lost in, she does nothing here to appease. Joshua Jackson is lost in this fucked up script and some goes with all the other throwaway young talent who just show up here and there and do nothing to advance the plot, that is if there was an actual plot. The only one of the bunch that was entertaining was Jesse Eisenberg and I don't want to get into because if you actually go out and watch this production I don't want to ruin the films only saving grace.

As a horror film, “Cursed” doesn’t have much to do. With most of the story cleaved away, all the film really becomes is a series of werewolf-stalks-prey moments, complete with cheap scares and some rather awful CG monsters. Thanks to the films PG-13 the intended gore came off like your sisters first period and with that the horror elements of the film had nothing to work with. Craven seems to understand that his picture is a genre dud because he starts to guide the material away from scares to laughs in the last reel. And to attest to that notion there’s a shot featuring a werewolf giving Ellie the finger! The film attempts a “Scream” merge of comedy and horror, and that cookie crumbles on both ends.

Hollywood doesn’t offer many second chances, yet “Cursed” received one when things didn’t go so well with the first cut of the film. Re-shot with new material, this Wes Craven/Kevin Williamson re-teaming remains a pitiful disaster the second time around, made ever worse with a recent hatchet job to get the once R rated film down to a PG-13. There is, quite literally (aside from the work of Jesse Eisenberg), no reason to see it.

CONSTANTINE

2005-02-19T01:17:00.000-05:00

Cast: Keanu Reeves, Rachel Weisz, Djimon Hounsou...
Director: Fraincis Lawrence
Writer: Kevin Brodbin and Frank Cappello

Review Date: 02/19/05
Written By: suj
Rating: 9/10

THE PLOT:
Unwillingly caught in a wager between Heaven and Hell, John Constantine (Keanu Reeves) has nearly had enough. Tired, angry, and dying of lung cancer due to excessive smoking, Constantine longs for death but cannot stop himself from protecting the Earthbound from the demons and angels that prowl the streets. One of those in need of Constantine's help is Angela (Rachel Weisz), a detective who cannot figure out why her twin sister killed herself, and turns to Constantine when supernatural clues start to hint at the otherworldly mystery she's found herself in.

THE REVIEW:
Loosely based on the graphic novel "Hellblazer," the life of John Constantine is displayed on the silver screen with a world of demonic sights and angelic sounds, richly envisioned in the film by music video helmer Francis Lawrence. I got to say this cat, Lawrence, has a meticulous visual style which I fucking adore. The introduction of Constantine exiting a taxi, cigarette falling to the ground, various cuts and angles as he walks towards the entrance of the apposing apartment complex, visually pleasing tans of yellow, brown, and green, its was just absolutely fucking beautiful. Also, praise should also go to cinematographer Philippe Rousselot's for the exciting color scheme. Throughout the film Lawrence displays this amount of visual appeasement to my utter glee.

I feel the “controversial” casting of Keanu Reeves as Constantine pays off wonderfully for the film, his on-screen presence along with his oddball acting choices and Eastwood-like delivery make for an exciting character. And I must say I loved the character’s smart-ass demeanor. The casting is “controversial” because in its source material the character of John Constantine is British. I haven’t actually read a lot of the “Hellblazer” series (Still halfway through Ennis Dangerous Habits arc) so I can’t really analyze the true essence of the character. Though, not British he does run with the character’ other traits, including chain-smoking and general reticence in dealing with the afterlife and with that, Reeve’s portrayal rings true. After standing in the long shadow of the two "Matrix" sequels, Reeves is back as his old playful self. It's a terrific performance. As for the members of the cast: Shia LeBouf as the wisecracking sidekick was amusing, Rachel Weisz is a wonderful actress and from this performance I can’t wait till “The Fountain” is unleashed to the world, Djimon Hounsou is bad-ass with a hint of cool as the powerful being in neutrality, Tilda Swinton nails the unwieldy role of sneaky angel Gabriel, and hell Gavin Rossdale gives of a entertaining performance as the sleek pawn of satan.

Sure, some will say this film is far too long, lacks pace, and gets buried in its complex tale of good vs. evil. Quite frankly the people who make such comments are those who subsequently remove their magnified glass from their brown trench coat and vigorously search up and down a piece of film to find its dirty little squabbles, instead of actually sitting back, leaving all your fucking assholic problems out the door, and simply enjoy the film for what it is – a FUCKING MOVIE. "Constantine" manages to be truly exciting in its entire hellion foundry. Some notable sequences of joy include: the opening exorcism, Constantine hunting demons with his "Jesus shot-gun," his face-off with Satan's minions in a hospital, and the film’s final battle, among others.

There are plenty of good ideas presented in the finale of the film, with a dynamite resolution for Constantine that insures sequels. Though, I am engrossed in seeing the continued adventures of one John Constantine, I am more interested in seeing another Vertigo DC comic realized on the big screen that being the Garth Ennis/Steven Dillion epic modern spaghetti-western masterpiece known simply as “Preacher”. So, anyways back to Constantine – The film is wonderfully directed, with some appeasing performances, and a story that just kicked all ass. Here, here for the comic-movie enterprise to rule all – Coming up next: SIN fucking CITY!!!

THE AVIATOR

2005-02-18T08:04:00.000-05:00

Cast: Leonardo DiCaprio, Cate Blanchett, Alec Baldwin...
Director: Martin Scorsese
Writer: John Logan

Review Date: 02/18/05
Written By: suj
Rating: 8/10

THE PLOT:
The story of aviation pioneer Howard Hughes (Leonardo DiCaprio), the eccentric billionaire industrialist and Hollywood film mogul, famous for romancing some of the world's most beautiful women. The drama recounts the years of his life from the late 1920s through the 1940s, an epoch when Hughes was directing and producing Hollywood movies and test flying innovative aircrafts he designed and created.

THE REVIEW:
Personally, I could care less how accurate a depiction of a person’s life a biographical film is, as long as it tells a definitive story. I don't think there has even been a biopic, from Jesus to Alexander the Great to Jim Morrison to John F. Kennedy to even John Holmes, that didn’t skew the truth in some way or another to make for a better narrative.

Scorsese' “The Aviator” feels like a Howard Hughes’ Greatest Hits compilation, touching upon the greatest achievements and incidents which helped shape and mold the young man who would eventually become one of the world’s wealthiest people during his formative years (1927-1947), but Scorsese never really shifts into the 'why' aspect of the situations. It is known that Howard Hughes became rather eccentric in his later years, and the film does spend sufficient time showing how obsessive Hughes could be about certain projects, but does little in examining the reason, outside of a short prelude where we see a young Hughes being bathed by his mother in the study, because there was an outbreak in a nearby town. We also get to see Hughes’ meticulous attention to every detail while making “Hell’s Angels,” but no time is spent on why every detail was important enough for Hughes to spend three years and more than four million dollars on. We get to watch Hughes accomplish a great many things, including structuring the airline that would become TWA, and build the plane that would over-top every other plane ever made, but we never see what drove him to take on the powerful owner of Pan Am Airlines or continue to build and fund the construction of two wartime planes long after the war they were being built for was over. But that’s just one little problem I had with this great film, and if they would have showed every single reasoning to the chaos the film would be run longer than its already long 3+ hours.

The main challenge of a movie like “The Aviator” is how to make a not very likeable character such as Howard Hughes, likeable. Insert Leonardo DiCaprio, the loveably Jack Dawson who the girls of world adored sometime ago. But here DiCaprio sheds away from his past image and truly makes you feel what the film often is unable to show, Hughes’s passion for what he wants. DiCaprio forces us to not only feel, but experience the pain of Mr. Hughes as he slowly swirls into a masquerade of demons and madness. It is the best performance of DiCaprio’s career and one of the bravest performances of the decade. Cate Blanchett does an admirable job as one-time girlfriend Katherine Hepburn, though I’ve only seen one Hepburn movie (Bringing up Baby) Blanchett nails the former Hollywood starlet down pat and the performance becomes a comfortable homage. Also worth the note is the gaggle of actors, ranging from Alan Alda, Jude Law, Alec Baldwin (with his sweet-ass office atop New York's Chrysler Building), Willem Dafoe, Kate Beckinsale and John C. Reilly among others whom all show up in what are essentially glorified extended cameos, give the best performances they can with such little time to establish a fully realized character.

One of the films finest moments was the 1946’s test flight Hughes’ XF-11 spy plane, which ended in a fiery crash into a trio of houses in Beverly Hills, and is the single most exciting and sequences of the year.

While the film does drag in a number of scenes, and its runtime is far too long I didn't mind one bit of it as I was enthralled with every frame of this scrupulous individual. The film, to me, came off Citizen Kane-esque, I don't know exactly how that comparison comes to play right now, but when watching “The Aviator", Orson Welles masterpiece clinged in the depths of my sub-conscience.

In the end, “The Aviator” is an outstanding feat in cinema and another glorified achievement for the one and only Martin Scorsese.

IMAGINARY HEROES

2005-02-15T00:02:00.000-05:00

Cast: Sigourney Weaver, Emile Hirsch, Jeff Daniels...
Director: Dan Harris
Writer: Dan Harris

Review Date: 02/15/05
Written By: suj
Rating: 8/10

THE PLOT:
Matt Travis (Kip Pardue) is a star athlete and the apple of his father's (Jeff Daniels) eye. When pressure and frustration with his routine become too much, Matt kills himself, knocking down the fragile structure of the Travis household, which includes his mother Sandy (Sigourney Weaver) and teenage brother Tim (Emile Hirsch). As depression and venom seep into the family dynamic, Tim struggles with the outlook of his life while he watches his parents' already tempestuous marriage burn to the ground.

THE REVIEW:
The plot of "Imaginary Heroes" isn't really fresh or original, but what makes it worthwhile is the work of Dan Harris. This writer/director incorporates some intricate writing and a focused eye towards performance and with this piece of work I can plainly see why Bryan Singer tapped into this talent for both X2 and the up-coming Superman Returns.

The screenplay seems rich and wise beyond this 24 year-old' years. With his distinct attention paid to character, and a mournful theme about the realities behind the people we hold so dearly and call upon them as heroes in our lives. It’s an impressive look at the frailty of the human condition.

"Imaginary Heroes" explores the same white, upper class suburban angst as numerous other films have done. While the blueprint for this type of tale had been plainly laid out, Harris manages not to easily repeat the themes and events from those of movies past. Here he finds his own quirky take, sometimes artificial, but mostly organic and interesting. The film covers all types of repressed emotions, drug imbibing, sexual dysfunction, slapstick comedy, and the common tear jerking moments in way that isn't display for the sake of conveying these emotions, but rather it's earned. Especially a delicate touching scene where the young Tim Travis confronts his father after a family secret is revealed.

Emile Hirsch, plays the coming-of-age role often and does it well. He plays Tim as a haunted character, a recluse, lost in his own lethargic desire to accept his life. Hirsch has the iffiest role of all the actors, and he pulls it together through Harris's script and some atypically subtle acting.

Throughout it all I found this movie to be a great step towards greatness for Dan Harris and a highlighted achievement for all the actors’ involved.

IN GOOD COMPANY

2005-02-13T21:14:00.000-05:00

Cast: Dennis Quaid, Topher Grace, Scarlett Johansson...
Director: Paul Weitz
Writer: Paul Weitz

Review Date: 01/09/05
Written By: suj
Rating: 7/10

THE PLOT:
For 25 years, Dan Foreman (Dennis Quaid) has been a leading ad sales representative for a popular sports magazine. When the company is taken over by a colder, greedier mega corporation, Dan finds himself working for 26-year-old Carter (Topher Grace), with his job on the line. Complications arise when Carter secretly starts a relationship with Dan’s daughter, Alex (Scarlett Johansson) which pushes Dan to his outer limits on just how much humiliation he can take.

THE REVIEW:
Who would have thought that the brain child behind 'American Pie' could dish out a film that its overly entertaining and has no lude, crude, pie fucking gestures to show for itself. Though, Paul Weitz previously strayed from the teen movies before by giving audiences a taste of his talent in 2002's 'About a Boy'. Now for Weitz' latest effort, In Good Company, he's established a top-notch cast all giving off enjoyable performances thanks to a story that bodes well for at least its 1st and 2nd acts.

For the most part “In Good Company,” surprises with its truthful depiction of the panicky horror that comes along with corporate restructuring. Though I've never actually had a job, I would imagine this is what it would be like if my company were in this situation. Writer/director Paul Weitz demonstrates to us keen film goers a superb balance between the terrors of the real world and the warm suburban comedy. He enables us viewers to feel the sweat and panic as Dan’s career is suddenly up for grabs, as well as the anxious need and ambition to impress that flows through Carter. The film appears effortless and is often downright delightful as these two people blend in this new, awkward workplace arrangement. The actors who play these stressful characters do their stuff and shine in every aspect of what the roles call for. Topher Grace and Dennis Quaid do their best and skillfully hone every character quirk they can get their hands on. As for Scarlett, well she can’t do any wrong. The only bad thing I have to say about this movie is its ending. Does every movie have to end so...what's the word...Hollywood? Well, considering this I guess the answer Yes. The ending was just sad and tragic of a resolution that simply resembles every other film at your local multiplex.

So, if you like acoustic guitar-driven soundtracks, the talent that is Johansson, the Quaid/Grace combination, and a foundation of honesty and comedy, you’ll certainly find "Company,” with this delightful film....Fuck I’m starting to sound like Gene Shalit.

THE LIFE AQUATIC with STEVE ZISSOU

2005-02-13T20:43:00.000-05:00

Cast: Bill Murray, Owen Wilson, Willem Dafoe, Cate Blanchett...
Director: Wes Anderson
Writer: Wes Anderson and Noah Baumbach

Review Date: 12/30/04
Written By: suj
Rating: 9.5/10

THE PLOT:
A formerly famous oceanographer fallen on hard times, Steve Zissou has hit rock bottom. Sensing revenge on a mysterious shark that took the life of his best friend will redeem his soul, Steve and Team Zissou hit the seas (on his ship, “The Belafonte”), with a reporter tagging along, a rival around every corner, and a man named Ned who may or may not be Steve’s long lost son.

THE REVIEW:
I just watched this flick (twice) recently and the aftermath of its first viewing I was both impressed and awed by this jumbled adventure Wes Anderson had put together, but I still felt it wasn't his best work in fact I believe my exact words were "its the worst of 'his' films". Now that I’ve watched it for a second time I was able to gather my thoughts and simply take a gander into its nucleus and with its intriguing outer-shell I must retract my statement and now declare this film better than "Tenebaums" as good as "Bottle Rocket", but still nowhere near "Rushmore."

Wes Anderson is one of my favorite film-makers and I could even go has far as saying (at this moment in time) his name is etched in at the one spot in my big book of all-time favorite film makers. Anderson's films have become known as commodity to movie astute patrons like me; it’s that kind of commodity that sticks out like a beautiful rose in batch of dandelions. “Life Aquatic”, like Anderson's previous works, retains the unforgettable vision of this viciously talented, stylish, and original filmmaker.

“Life Aquatic” being Wes Anderson’s fourth film shows the skills at the craft and is a potent reminder just how imaginative and striking an artist he really is. What makes “Aquatic” stand out is its epic scale, working with his biggest budget to date; Anderson has become very ambitious with his ideas this time around. Even with a big budget and critical praise it hasn't phased Anderson one bit has he still clutches with a GI Joe Kung Fu-like grip on his established idiosyncratic material. Also Anderson's attention to detail remains in full force for the picture, as its gorgeously photographed, and stunning in its art direction (See: interior look into the Belafonte as if it were a gigantic ant farm that Team Zissou has burrowed into).

Nothing seems to upset the film’s flow, which is filled with pirate invasions, crew bickering, loving affairs, cut limbs, David Bowie, and whole bag of quirky. It was like being taken into the galaxy of the wildly unexpected. Even with all these strange tangents, the main journey of a weathered Steve chasing glory again is never too far out of reach to blur focus, and neither does Anderson nor co-writer Baumbach pass up any type of uproarious joke involving jealous German shipmate Klaus.

Bill Murray is the Fucking Man! And plays the emotional anchor for this particular tale and Anderson asks to see the rainbow inside him. We get the whole range of Murray here, including priceless Murray-perfect sarcasm toward the hapless interns on the Belafonte.

Also worth noting is the film's vital score by Mark Mothersbaugh. His score soaks the scenes with just the right documentary film thrust and by films end you won't be able to get that techno sounding beat off of the ping island invasion out of your head. Now couple that with Anderson’s flare for old school needle drops like the Zombies and this flicks particular fetish for David Bowie and you got one of the most kick-ass soundtracks since, well, Tarantino's 'Kill Bill'.

Wes Anderson's latest effort is dazzling, exquisite in every corner, and captures the very essence of high seas adventure while still holding on to that Andersonesque eccentricity. Now, I'm going to go on an overnight drunk, and in 10 days I'm going to set out to find the shark that ate my friend and destroy it.

CLOSER

2005-02-12T12:54:00.000-05:00

Cast: Julia Roberts, Jude Law, Clive Owen, Natalie Portman...
Director: Mike Nichols
Writer: Patrick Marber

Review Date: 12/18/04
Written By: suj
Rating: 10/10

THE PLOT:
An intriguing story of passion, drama, love, and abandonment involving two couples, which only gets more complicated when the man from the first couple gets acquainted with the woman from the second coupling.

THE REVIEW:
A year or so ago I watched a great 1971 film called "Carnal Knowledge" which followed the trials and tribulations of relationships. The film directed was by Mike Nichols and tribally showed an epic battle between the sexes infused with seething anger, angst, and the messed up lives people weave in and out of. It was hands down one of the most real feeling movies I’ve ever seen as it threw out all the mushy bull-shit seen in romance flicks today and focused more on the people and how often they can be awful to one another. Now, in ‘Closer’ Nichols once again divulges himself into the world of fucked up characters and the relationships they spin.

The movie opens with Dan (Jude Law) meeting Alice (Natalie Portman) by chance one day in a crowded London street, which is all too made beautiful when backed by the Damien Rice tune - “The Blowers Daughter”. Dan’s life soon changes forever as they fall madly in love. That is, until a year later when he meets Anna (Julia Roberts) and his romantic intentions lean closer to her, but she’s involved with Larry (Clive Owen), who is extremely protective of her and is paralyzed with revulsion as he watches Anna fall into Dan’s charms. In a fit of desperation, Larry sets his sights on Alice, thus forming a dark chain of treachery and adultery that is destined to destroy everyone involved – This is simply put the basic plot of one of the best films of the year.

Written by Patrick Marber which was adapted from his very own stage play, “Closer” is about the toxicity of jealousy and the predictable insecurities of man. The dialogue is meaty and the situations ring true which at times is also often funny (see: Internet Chat Scene). The movie is not an easy sit, with the bulk of the films focus allocated to that fine line found in affairs that sits between adoration and fixation. Marber dwells into this with such ease, designing four individuals who truly can’t stand each other, yet are unable to let go. The characters are such horrible to one another, However, Marber and Nichols stay true to their rancid relationship view, never once allowing a moment of sympathy to creep in, icily keeping the characters committed to their selfishness all the way to the end. There are no warm hugs at the conclusion of this tale, and that is delightful. By keeping the film sinister and honest, Nichols can further explore the themes of obsession that make up the four walls of the film. He directs skillfully and sparingly, maintaining the focus on Marber’s static and highly theatrical, yet searing words of romantic spite. It’s all just dazzling material, written with such edge and splashed with grand proportions of truth that it reminds me of Neil Labute’s ‘The Shape of Things’. In retrospect the two films and or plays are quite alike and that maybe the reason why I love both films.

The four leads who are all cast against type shell out some brilliant performances. While Law and Roberts both act with poise and fearlessness, the real praise should be reserved for Owen and Portman. Owen, here is an emotional dragon, clomping around in fits of random protectiveness and ferocious resentment. Owen is at the top of his game here and you can see it flurish on screen when Larry, seething with rage, slowly comprehends the sexual square dance that is happening in front of his eyes. The scene portraying a mental Mexican standoff between him and Alice in a private dance room at her strip club just brings an icy chill to ones spine. If the academy doesn’t lay down a nomination for this cat there is definitely something wrong in the world. Now, Portman's character is one not willing to indulge true intimacy for fear of collapse. Natalie’s Alice is a worldly soul who has seen enough obsession in her life for two people; a child thrust into adulthood, struggling to compete with the affected adults that surround and desire her. Alice demands distance, allure and a certain sexual posture, and Portman manages to capture it all.

’Closer’ is not a film easily dismissed or forgotten as it is a dangerous, honest film that cuts deeply with its collage of romantic idealism, cancerous suspicion, and perfect performances.

BLADE: TRINITY

2005-02-12T12:52:00.001-05:00

Cast: Wesley Snipes, Jessica Biel, Ryan Reynolds...
Director: David S. Goyer
Writer: David S. Goyer

Review Date: 12/11/04
Written By: Clarkey
Rating: 6/10

THE PLOT:
Wesley Snipes returns as the day-walking vampire hunter in the explosive third and final film in the Blade franchise, Blade: Trinity. When the Vampire Nation hatches a plan to frame Blade in a series of brutal killings, he must join forces with the Nightstalkers, a clan of human vampire hunters, in an extreme battle in which the trail of blood leads directly to the notorious vampire legend, Dracula. Written and directed by David S. Goyer, Blade: Trinity also stars Jessica Biel as Abigail, the daughter of Whistler (Kris Kristofferson), who inherits the vampire-slaying duties that once belonged to Blade (Wesley Snipes); and Ryan Reynolds (National Lampoon's Van Wilder) as Hannibal King, one of the Nightstalkers.

THE REVIEW:
Sequels, prequels and remakes fill are cinemas nowadays. I normally hate these kinds of movies, but I was actually looking forward for Blade: Trinity. Having enjoyed the first two and also waiting to see how the additions of the lovely Jessica Biel and the hilarious Ryan Reynolds would do.

After watching this film, I have mixed opinions on it. From a film student’s point of view, a few of the main ingredients are missing. For example, the story was a very weak one, the editing was very choppy at the beginning, and the overusing of a transitions, which got very boring. Let me begin with the weak story. We got our traditional kind of vampires that Blade is always hunting searching for the "One" or the original or Dracula. Well, let’s just say they find him and bring to New York at the beginning. Right now, you’re thinking all right that the big bad guy, now let’s find out what the big plans the vampires have with him. All they want is to kill Blade, pretty plain. And the dialogue was kind of crappy, with the countless smartass remarks that Reynolds says. The main thing about the story, along with most of the dialogue was just stupid. Also, the movie takes awhile to get going. And another thing, it seems like everyone in the movie, who wasn’t a good guy was a vampire.

At the beginning, just before we get our first look at Blade kicking ass, we get a serious of chopping shots that add absolutely nothing to the story. In fact, they actually weaken the movie to the point where you’re pissed off or maybe it’s just me and a personal pet peeve. Most of the transition shots are the camera focusing on a shot of a city in super fast motion, showing the transition from day to night or vice versa. I don’t mind it, but when almost every transition shot in this movie is that one, it quickly gets old and very annoying. Audiences are not morons, they would clue in that there has been a change in the time of day when the last scene was in the day and the next scene is at night.

Now, it seems like I hated the movie, well not really. There were a few good things that this movie did right. Blade is Wesley Snipes best character in my opinion and he is back, taking numbers and kicking some serious ass. The action in this one is just as spectular as the first two and I liked how they kept the same special effects as the second one. The ash that the vampires turn to after they get some silver in their bodies. The new additions of Jessica Biel and Ryan Reynolds set right in and kick some serious ass. Biel looks hottier everytime I see her and the good canuck Reynolds steals the movie with his pricless smartass remarks. We first see him wearing a hello, my name is tag, instead of putting his name, he writes fuck you. It’s just golden.

The action takes up most of the time, which is a good thing because as I already mentioned the dialogue and the story are poorly done. The filmmakers make up for it by showing some great action sequences. Including the final battle scene that involves Blade and Dracula going mono on mono in one of the best sword fights of the year. For the most part, the movie looked pretty cool with even cooler sequences for instances the initial Dracula chase by Blade is one of the best non-vehicle chases in recent years. Also, the chase is a fresh kick-back to the old school police chases in the movies. Another thing that I liked was the opening credits, where it would freeze on Blade looking pissed off. It just looked great.

I went into this movie, expecting good things. I came out of it with mixed reactions. I loved the smartass comments from Reynolds and the action didn’t skip a beat, but the story was a weak one, the editing was chopping and the transition shots got really annoying really fast. Unfortunately the Blade trilogy is like so many before it, it only gets worse as they keep making them. I’m talking about how Blade 2 was a step down from Blade and Blade 3 is a step down from Blade 2. However, I would recommend this film to action fans and Reynolds fans because the man steals the movie.

FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS

2005-02-12T12:52:00.000-05:00

Cast: Billy Bob Thornton, Lucas Black, Derek Luke ...
Director: Peter Berg
Writer: Peter Berg (Script), David Aaron Cohen (Script), Buzz Bissinger (Novel)

Review Date: n/a
Written By: Clarkey
Rating: 8/10

THE PLOT:
A straight arrow coach leads his team to the 1988 Texas state semifinals in the west Texas city of Odessa, where high school football is king. Expectations of classmates, coaches, family, and community members exact a toll on the athletes central to the story. Economic and racial undertones pervade this adaptation of H.G. Bissinger's book by the same name.

THE REVIEW:
There are a lot of football movies out there and for the most part, they are well done. Many of them are my favourites of all-time with the likes of Rudy, Jerry Maguire, Remember the Titians, The Replacements and now Friday Night Lights will be added to that list.

This is a wonderful story about a high school football team, who become huge underdogs after their star running back gets injured. Without their star player, the team as a whole needs to step up. Billy Bob Thorton is good as the pretty quiet coach, almost the complete opposite of Jon Voight in Variesty Blues, but he gets across to the players much better. And his speech at the beginning of training camp is awesome, “Can you be perfect?” I loved it.

Though the story is based on the team, we only get to know a selected few and like many other sports movie, they are key positions. For instances, we step into the world of the very quiet, good-mannered quarterback. He is dealing with his ill mother, who wants her boy to go to college on a scholarship. Even though the star running back gets injured, he gets some serious amount of camera time. He tries to come back before he has healed and worries about what will happen to him now without football. Tim McGraw gives acting a shot as an abusive alcoholic father, (so clique nowadays), but delivers one hell of a performance and surprised the hell out of me. It kills him that his son can’t play football the way he did. There are a few more main characters, but they aren’t seen much at their own homes. However, I got into all of the characters and their stories.

David Aaron Cohen and Peter Berg did a great job adapting the novel by Buzz Bissinger. They incorpated not only the remarkable story about an underdog football team, but they hint at the economic situation of rural Texas was in the late 80s. I couldn’t get enough of the story and liked the development of it. I loved the scenes before a game when the whole town is shut down, the signs in the windows all say “Gone to the Game.” It’s been done before, but I still love it. This was one of the first movies in awhile that I really got into it; I was cheering for them, yelling at the refs and other teams for cheap shots. Peter Berg also directed and did a great job in my mind. I loved how he showed what happened to the main characters next year and for the rest of their lives. It wasn’t like it normally done; the movie was still going on. It tied the movie’s loose ends up nice and tight. Also, this movie has probably the best football scenes ever captured on film and get right into the big games. The one problem I had with the movie was the overusing the circling camera shots. At first, they were cool, but after awhile they got annoying. But all in all, a solid effort by all involved and I will be looking forward to watching it again.

INFERNAL AFFAIRS

2005-02-12T12:49:00.000-05:00

Cast: Andy Lau, Tony Leung Chiu Wai, Anthony Wong Chau-Sang, Eric Tsang...
Director: Andrew Lau and Alan Mak
Writer: Felix Chong and Alan Mak

Review Date: 09/25/04
Written By: Suj
Rating: 10/10

THE PLOT:
A story between a mole in the police department and an undercover cop. Their objectives are the same: to find out who is the mole, and who is the cop.

THE REVIEW:
The essential premise is nothing new, but the overall outcome is truly extraordinary. On one side you have the Cops and on the other you have the Triads and the twist of this story is that each group was able to place their own mole within the ranks of the other.

You have two young men whom both made their way through the ranks at about the same time, each having the goal to become a trusted member of the group. Also to keep tabs on the happenings of their duped new contemporaries and report back to their superior to whom are the only ones who know of their true identities and purpose. Ming (Andy Lau) is the Triad mole within the Police Department and Yan (Tony Leung) is the counterpart enlisted by the Cops to infiltrate the Triads. After years go by both men quicky climb up the ranks in their respective organizations, with Ming looking forward to another promotions while Yan becomes one of Sam's (the Triad boss) most trusted enforcers. But, as each man gets older, both feel trapped by their false identities, yearning to break free of their emotional prisons. The kicker of this flick starts off when a drug bust goes awry south and each side discovers their’s a mole among them and from that both sides put up their most trusted man (Ming and Yan) to seek out the infiltrator. But the truth of the matter is that the person they need to find is themselves.

To make a good movie you got to have your cast bring their grade A performances and for "Infernal Affairs" the two leads in Andy Lau and Tony Leung bring forth some of the most entertaining performances of the year. Each played their respected roles as theses double agents with pin-point accuracy. The troublesome lives they lead are slowly and painfully eating away their soul. Leung’s facial expressions are so full of emotion that you can utterly feel his anguish as he struggles to fight his urges to become a triad. Andy succeeds with subtlety. He wants so much to change his ways that he’ll do anything to cover his tracks. This is where the plot takes the whole cat and mouse game to a whole new level. The story plays around with the characters in a way that they begin to question themselves and their beliefs. Will they change or will they follow the narrow, dark path fate has chosen for them?

If your looking for one of those action packed crime caper flicks go straight to your local video store walk up to the clerk look directly into his or her eyes and say "give me anything with Jean Claude Van Dame!". But if looking for gem of a movie, Infernal Affairs is it. Even though you won’t see Andy and Tony in an all out shoot out nor display Van Dame like kicks instead you will be on the edge of your seat and experience a thriller that pushes the limits of the duality of man, a struggle of the human soul and the distinctive perception of two different colliding worlds. And that’s what makes movies like this work and make em that damn good as the people behind this flick kept the story fresh and exciting by adding texture and making it as much about Ming and Yan’s psychological states as it is about the action.

What starts off with two tragic heroes vying for respect in their world ends in a showdown of two willing survivors battling not for supremacy, but for adequacy and an identity. “Infernal Affairs” is a conglomerate of outstanding performances and a fresh take on an old idea. To sum it all up would to just basically say that it is a masterpiece of true cinema unleashed.

PAPARAZZI

2005-02-12T12:47:00.000-05:00

Cast: Cole Hauser Robin Tunney Tome Sizemore...
Director: Paul Abascal
Writer: Forrest Smith

Review Date: 09/07/04
Written By: Clarkey
Rating: 7/10

THE PLOT:
Bo Laramie is a movie star who has finally achieved success. But success comes at a price, in the form of persistent photographers known as the paparazzi. Using their dishonest methods of getting the money shot regardless of what it takes, they'll stop at nothing in exploiting Bo for every last penny. But when one of their ventures nearly costs Bo's life and that of his family, he's reached his breaking point. In doing so, he will exact revenge on those who have enjoyed making his life a living hell with a focus on the paparazzi's ring leader, Rex Harper.

THE REVIEW:
Critics and audiences alike are not liking this movie. And I for one, wasn’t sure what to expect from this movie. But it wasn’t as bad as people were saying, if fact, I enjoyed it. Cole Hauser was perfectly cast as the Bo Laramie, the new big action star. He nailed down his role and a joy to watch as he went from the next big thing in Hollywood to the pissed off revenge seeking guy. I would like to see him as more of a leading man in the future. He has always been an underrated actor in my mind. Robin Tunney was good as Bo’s wife and looked great as well. But I did have a problem with Tom Sizemore’s over the top performance as the lead paparazzi guy, Rex Harper. He could’ve and should’ve tone it down just a little bit. Also, Dennis Farina was merely okay, but I don’t really like him so I’m a little biased. The rest of the cast was all right and the numerous cameos really lightened up the movie.

The script is your average revenge seeking kind, but does it in a more realistic and original way. Forrest Smith wrote a solid script and kudos to him. He mixed action, comedy and a good story with such ease. The character development wasn’t amazing, but it was enough to satisfy the audience. But the major problem I had was the length of it, it was a mere 75 minutes. It way too short, it seems like a HBO show with the fast pacing.

The direction of Paul Abascal was all right, but he could’ve toned Sizemore down. But he did well bringing the script to life and liked the way he shot the movie. The movie was well made and looked great. It’s not going to blow you away and it’s definitely not going to win any awards, but it is a great way to spend an hour and half.

THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE

2005-02-12T12:44:00.000-05:00

Cast: Denzel Washington Merryl Streep Liev Schreiber...
Director: Jonathan Demme
Writer: Richard Condon (Novel) George Axelrod (1962 Script) Daniel Pyne (Screenplay) Dean Georgaris (Screenplay)

Review Date: 09/07/04
Written By: Clarkey
Rating: 7/10

THE PLOT:
When his army unit was ambushed during the first Gulf War, Sergeant Raymond Shaw saved his fellow soldiers just as his commanding officer, Major Ben Marco, was knocked unconscious. Brokering the incident for political capital, Shaw eventually becomes a vice-presidential nominee, while Marco is haunted by dreams of what happened -- or didn't happen -- in Iraq. As Marco investigates, the story begins to unravel, to the point where he questions if it happened at all. Is it possible the entire unit was kidnapped and brainwashed to believe Shaw is a war hero as part of a plot to seize the White House? Some very powerful people at Manchurian Global corporation appear desperate to stop him from finding out.

THE REVIEW:
I’ve always hated remakes because they always ruin the original. They take the reptuation of the original and drag it through the mud, like Dawn of the Dead and Texas Chainsaw Massacre. But I have now found the one exception of bad remakes and it is The Manchurian Candidate. I love the first one and was interested to see if they could break the curse of a bad remake. I mean it look great from the trailers and I wasn’t let down at all.

I have said this many times, but Denzel Washington is the best actor working out there nowadays. He once again, does it. He brings Major Ben Macro to life and gives yet another great performance. Merryl Streep is also at it again, giving another great effort as Senator Eleanor Shaw. I was wondering how Cotton Weary, I mean Mr. Schreiber, would do when place on screen with the likes of Denzel and Merryl. He held his ground perfectly and was great. Kudos to him. As for the rest of the cast, they are great and hold their ground.

Jonathan Demme directed beautifully and was back on his Silence of the Lambs level and not the god awful The Truth About Charlie level. I love the angles he picked and the way he shot it. The movie looked great and kudos to him for bringing the script to life the way that he did. As for the script, it was solid. Daniel Pyne and Dean Georgaris did a wonderful job keeping true to the original, while updating it to make more relevant to our day. I had no problem with the updating, and they weren’t anyhting major. Just little changes here and there, like Korea turns into Kuwait and Eleanor is a senator, while her son, not her husband running for Vice President.

I did have a problem with the length of the movie, I found that it could’ve been shorter and the final scene was not really needed, but I understand why they wanted it in. For the most part, it is probably the best remake that I’ve ever seen and lived up to the original.

FAHRENHEIT 9/11

2005-02-12T12:41:00.000-05:00

Cast: Michael Moore, George W. Bush...
Director: Michael Moore
Writer: Michael Moore

Review Date: 07/28/04
Written By: Clarkey
Rating: 8/10

THE PLOT:
In this film, muckraker Michael Moore turns his eye on George W. Bush and his War on Terrorism agenda. He illustrates his argument about how this failed businessman with deep connections to the royal house of Saud of Saudia Arabia and the Bin Ladins got elected on fraudulent circumstances and proceeded to blunder through his duties while ignoring warnings of the looming betrayal by his foreign partners. When that treachery hits with the 9/11 attacks, Moore explains how Bush failed to take immediate action to defend his nation, only to later cynically manipulate it to serve his wealthy backers' corrupt ambitions. Through facts, footage and interviews, Moore illustrates his contention of how Bush and his cronies have gotten America into worse trouble than ever before and why Americans should not stand for it.

THE REVIEW:
Like I say in my review of Super Size Me, documentaries are getting much better. The reason why is Michael Moore, whose new documentary is just as great as his other. The man is a genius and a brilliant filmmaker. He should be accepting his second best documentary Academy Award in the last three years when the Oscars roll around.

Fahrenheit 9/11 is similar to his other works; such as it starts off like his book, “Stupid White Men” and has a similar style as Bowling for Columbine. However, this movie was more serious than Columbine. But he still pokes fun at his favourite President, like he always does. Speaking of which, the vacation scenes were priceless.

Moore is rarely seen on screen this time around, with only a couple of scenes having him in it. Most of those scenes you’ve seen in the trailers or TV spots, i.e. trying to get to Congressmen and Congresswomen to sign their children up for the War in Iraq. He spends a lot of time showing the connection between the Bush Administration and the Saudi Arabia government and business men. The research and the depth of the research is mind blowing. How he does it I will never know.

To those who say that Moore hates America, I say shut up. Moore doesn’t hate America, he simply hates what America has become and wants it changed asap. Politics aside, it is one of the best documentaries ever made. As Richard Roeper says, “No matter what side you’re on, you should see this movie, but more importantly those who haven’t picked a side should see it”. I would add that everyone should see it, not only for the politics, but to see a powerful, in depth, provactive and interesting film.

GARDEN STATE

2005-02-12T12:38:00.000-05:00

Cast: Zach Braff, Natalie Portman, Ian Holm, Peter Sarsgaard...
Director: Zach Braff
Writer: Zach Braff

Review Date: 08/18/04
Written By: Suj
Rating: 10/10

The Plot_________________
A young man returns home for his mother's funeral after being estranged from his family for a decade.

The Review_________________
If there was movie out there in this lonely world we live in that has the ability to make you feel, love, and take a step back to look at you life "garden state" would be that movie. Zach Braff best known as the character, JD, from the hit NBC show "Scrubs" has unleashed his grand talent in creating movies with such ease that its kinda scary. In "Garden State" Braff has carefully crafted a story filled with mounted drama with an elegant touch of comedy that gives way to unguarded performances out of its key players, specifically Natalie Portman.

The movie follows Andrew Largeman (as played by Braff to utter delight) as a struggling Los Angeles actor living in a zombified state due to anti-depressants and his icy family, who reside back in New Jersey. When news comes to Largeman that his disabled mother has drowned, he returns to his home state for the funeral, reconnecting with his mostly deadbeat friends (including Peter Sarsgaard) along the way. Experiencing his first weekend of a chemical-free life since he was a child, Largeman stumbles into the world of Sam (Portman), a young epileptic, who helps Largeman confront his feelings toward his family and himself.

Braff to me is the future of motion pictures, if for the rest of my life I was sequestered in a room and only allowed to watch "garden state" I would die a happy man. For me to blab about how good this film really is won't do it the justice of you yourself entering a theater and experiencing the magic with your very own two eyes, but nonetheless I’ll try my best to paint you a picture.

The film has that feeling of warmth something you write home about, something you can connect to, something just basically makes you strip your life to its bare bones and remember that no matter where you go home is where you make it. Mixed with a captivating script and visuals filled with subtle style that the movie undoubtably captures you with every single frame.

Entertaining, breathtaking, refreshing, are some words I would use to describe this film and perhaps I’m getting over my head in my praise but frankly that just how I feel about this movie. Funny, too is another word I could use to describe this film whether it be the witty banter between Large and his childhood chums, the quirky people he meets along the way, the wonders of a medieval knight showing his ability to speak the language of kilgnon or perhaps having the word BALLS written on your forehead. There are a lot of funny moments wrapped around this little gem of a movie.

As the funnies weave in and out of the movie its in the heart of the story where the drama spreads and invokes the emotion that we all have hidden inside. Andrew Largeman is subdued and jaded that he hasn't actually known what it is to feel alive and more importantly feel what it is to be happy, to be "in it" as they say in the movie. We follow him as he reconnects with his past, fighting to come to terms with his mother's death, rekindle a relationship with his father, explore a feeling of friendship with people he last saw 9 years ago, and take a first step into a romance with beautiful girl that make him happy and makes life feel that more tangible.

Braff excels is in his evocation of the deluded lives of the people of this film, as they circle the bottom of the barrel through drug use and questionable moral choices. You can literally feel the weight of these people’s lives during the movie, as well as the tight bond explored between Largeman and Sam. Braff does great work getting these two characters together in way that isn’t overtly quirky or unbelievable.

The most shining aspect of this starry-eyed film that just rises it up towards the clouds so that no other movie can bare to reach it is the extraordinary performance of Natalie Portman as the adorable pathological liar Sam. The character reminds me of a young Annie Hall, so just take that little description mix it up with the beautiful Nat and you can probably envision why this character is a scene stealer. Portman plays Sam with such charisma that hits the heart and makes the performance that much more cheerful, funny, and deeply enthralling. I haven't seen Natalie this good since her work in both "Leon" and "Beautiful Girls".

Braff as director is filled with style. “State” resembles the style of one Wes Anderson and his school of highly controlled visual poetry. The film just looks utterly beautiful and tossed in with stylish techniques that makes the movie that more stunning whether it be slow-mo or dubious crane shots or the unforgettable last shot as the camera zooms away which is all backed by one beautiful soundtrack, its all just beautiful it all its love-filled meanings.

By watching this film I understand what David Ansen of Newsweek meant when he said that "...Braff has a genuine filmmaker's eye and is loaded with talent..."

“Garden State” is essentially a tale of guilt, romance, and a thinly veiled look back at the life and home you left. This is the quintessential “first film” and the birth of the next great filmmaker.

OLDBOY

2005-02-12T12:36:00.000-05:00

Cast: Min-sik Choi, Ji-tae Yu, Hye-jeong Kang...
Director: Chan-wook Park
Writer: Chan-wook Park, Chun-hyeong Lim, Jo-yun Hwang, Garon Tsuchiya (story)

Review Date: 08/12/04
Written By: Suj
Rating: 10/10

THE PLOT:
A recently paroled middle-aged man, who spent 15 years in prison without any explanation as to why he was jailed, seeks revenge on those who brought him down.

THE REVIEW:
Oldboy explores dark themes of revenge, sadism, and the wicked twisted mind of humanity anchored by a strong story that keeps you at the edge of the seat from beginning to end. Imagine being locked up in a room with nothing but a television set. It becomes your only source of information and contact to the outside world, its like being trapped on the show ‘big brother’ but never knowing when you going to be released. You watch sitcoms, movies and infomercials and as time goes by they become your friend, lover, and entertainer, yet you would never be satisfied with its company. The only food you were fed were the same dumplings day in and day out. There is no escape no matter how hard you try. Though, after fifteen years, you were finally released. What is the first thing you would do? Who would you call and what would your first meal be? For Oh Dae-Su the protagonist of this film all of this has happened to him and he would come out with the frenzied desire to find out why and who; to kill the person who imprisoned him by doing so in the most painful, slowest way possible.

Throughout the course of the film, Oh Dae-su gives a running monologue that leads us every step of the way. His rationalization is quirky and has a childlike profundity to it, serving him both well and poorly in his actions. The monologues are so naturally and realistically executed which creates a somber atmosphere and mood that Oh Dae-su navigates in. This adds to the characterization because we are immediately sympathetic to his rationalized evils. He may be on the positive side of the revenge spectrum, but it ends up becoming much grayer as the story builds on.

This is definitely no Kill Bill. To be honest, I would have to say this flick is far superior then the volumes of Kill Bill maybe not in the whole style/ultra-violent aspect but the overall story/presentation Oldboy cuts the cake in the whole psycho revenge genre. Where Tarantino goes for the cool kung-fu action scenes, Park gives you no holds barred, brutal and utterly believable beat-em-ups. You can feel Dae-Su’s anger and pain as he punches, smashes and stamps on those standing on his way to an elevator. It is one of the best "fight" scenes that I have ever seen as Park never cuts away from the action its all in one take and makes it that more believable.

Don’t expect this to be a violent gore fest. The strength of this film lies in how Park leads the audience on as Dae Su stumbles into one revelation after another until the final clincher that changes everything. I’ve also seen my fair share of evil plots and the bad guy laughing with utter glee, but this is probably one of the most twisted and horrendous deed one person can do to another.

OLD BOY is an extremely beautiful crafted masterpiece. While its direction, cinematography and story are its seeds, the character of Oh Dae-su is where the movie blossoms and is the true heart of the film. The character is either a successful experiment on repercussion or a dangerous look into inner anxiety. Either way, Oldboy does what most films are incapable of doing: to entertain by analyzing meaningful and significant emotional pain. When the reveals are revealed and the reversals are reversed, people will be talking about this film and its ending for a long, long time.

The old adage of revenge being a dish best served cold rings chillingly cold as the credits finally roll.

THE TERMINAL

2005-02-12T12:33:00.000-05:00

Cast: Tom Hanks, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Stanley Tucci...
Director: Steven Spielberg
Writer: Andrew Niccol (Story), Sacha Gervasi (Story/Screenplay), Jeff Nathanson (Screenplay)

Review Date: 07/27/04
Written By: Clarkey
Rating: 6/10

THE PLOT:
An vistor (Hanks) fleeing the war that ravage his tiny Eastern European homeland finds himself stuck in the terminal of one of New York City’s airports when the time of his landing coincides precisely with the point at which the war causes his nation of origin to no longer exist, meaning that his passport and paperwork are no longer vaild. AS a man without a home, he takes up residence in the terminal itsef, befriending the staff of the airport, and falling in love with an airline flight attendant.

THE REVIEW:
Tom Hanks is one of the best actors of our generation and Steven Spielberg is one of the best directors ever. They have made good movies together like Saving Private Ryan and Catch Me if You Can. But they couldn’t get to that level in The Terminal. It wasn’t their worst effort, but it wasn’t their best either. It was merely average, but it was an enjoyable film.

Tom Hanks is wonderful as Viktor, the man with no home. His accent is fine and doesn’t piss you off like some other accents, (i.e. Harrison Ford’s russian accent in K:19). Hanks is supported by the lovely Catherine Zeta-Jones, who merely plays the beautiful fligth attendant who falls for Viktor. The part that I liked the most of these two leads was the romance; it was a realistic one, not like many of the other Hollywood romances. Like the romances that have the two lovebirds falling in love in a matter of days or weeks. Viktor gets to know Amelia for about 5 months or so and they are still getting to know each other even at the end and it doesn’t end the way that you are hoping for. The unlikey friedns of Viktor give good support and give us most of the lighter moments in the movie. I did have a problem with Stanley Tucci’s character, who isn’t developed as well as the two main characters and simply becomes the bad guy so that there is a bad guy.

Steven Spielberg is a great director and has directed some of the best movies ever, but he turns in a mediocre effort. It is definitely not his best work. He seems to being using the same moves when he should try to expand his horizon. I did love the set though, which was miraculously built simply for this movies. I thought this movie was film in some real terminal, until I read that it was built.

The major problem that I had with this movie was the plot. I know that this movie is loosely based on a real event. And I think this movie would’ve been better pre 9/11 because post 9/11, airports would never allow the events in the movie to take place or they would be talking to the feds as we speak. It is remarkable that they can’t find a translator, especially in an airport as large as the one in the movie. Also, they simply allow Viktor to walk around freely with a mysterious can that could’ve had anything in it. Another plot problem I had was the stupid and unrealistic event that involved two co-workers who don’t know each other.

In the end, it is a movie and a light movie at that. And an enjoyable one.

SUPER SIZE ME

2005-02-12T12:30:00.000-05:00

Cast: Morgan Spurlock, Dr. Daryl Isaacs, Ronald McDonald
Director: Morgan Spurlock
Writer: Morgan Spurlock

Review Date: n/a
Written By: Clarkey
Rating: 7/10

THE PLOT:
A documentary in which the filmmaker decides to put his healthy body to the test by eating nothing but McDonald's meals for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day for 30 days straight. The idea was to see how this sort of ridiculous diet of "junk food" would affect his system. The results are staggering, along with everything else in this engrossing look at the problem of obesity in America.

THE REVIEW:
I used to dread documentaries. I’m sure we all did. But lately documentaries are getting a hell of a lot better. They are better made, interesting and relevant to most people. It started with Michael Moore’s Bowling For Columbine, which is probably one of the best documentaries ever made. Now with Capturing the Friedmans, Moore’s new film, Fahrenheit 9/11 and Super Size Me, documentaries are taking a different approach.

Everyone knows that McDonald’s and fast food joints are bad for you, but yet we all eat there weekly or monthly. This movie starts off with 2 obese girls suing McDonald’s for their obesity, which I know is pretty stupid. Morgan Spurlock, the star, director and producer of this movie decides to show people that McDonald’s can make you fat. He starts a 30 day diet of strictly Mickey D’s and he will not do any exercise like most North Americans.

This documentary is a good one because it tackles a real issue; obesity is the second preventable cause of death behind only smoking. Also, it not only tackles the fast food chains, but the lack of exercise by the American public. In one school, a first grade class only gets 45 minutes of gym a week, A WEEK! I remember when I was in elementary school; we had gym for 45 minutes a day plus recess. Now, recesses are becoming shorter and will soon disappear to make room for more education. “We will all be smart, but we’ll all be fat,” as one scholar tells the camera.

Morgan tours around the states, but mostly he is in his hometown, New York City, which has some 80 plus Mickey D’s in only 20 miles squared, that is 4 McDonald’s in every square mile. And you wonder why Americans are getting fatter. He also looks at some procedures that help with obesity, such as getting the fat sucked out of you. Morgan interviews a lot of people on the street, kids, and scholars. Most scholars believe that the kids are the targets for the fast food ads, which will result in overwhelming obese kids in the next little while, unless we do something. Many of the average people didn’t know what a Calorie is or other health related questions. And there is even a man who claims he eats over 700 Big Macs a year. But when it came time for McDonald’s to be represented, they would not call Morgan back. Even after he called them like 15 times.

The film also had some comedy in, like “I think I got some McGas” and Morgan’s girlfriend talking about their sex life since he went on the diet and you guessed, his A-game has gone down to a D-game.

There were a couple of problems. The main one was every time he interviewed someone, you couldn’t see who they are and what their job they have. It would cut it off. Maybe he meant to do that to save the interviewee. Also, the 30-Day McDonald’s only diet is a little extreme, but Morgan admits that. I would’ve liked to see him balance it out, like the million of Americans do. Have McDonald’s once or twice a week for 30 weeks and see if the results are the same or similar. Just a suggestion.

As for Morgan’s diet, he put on some 20 pounds in only 30 days and on day 21, his doctors will advise him to quit the diet or he could damage his body. He would continue it and looks like shit near the end. The results are shocking and make you think twice before you order a Big Mac again.

SHREK 2

2005-02-12T12:27:00.000-05:00

Cast: Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, Antonio Banderas...
Director: Andrew Adamson, Conrad Vernon, Kelly Asbury
Writer: William Steig (Characters), J. David Stem (Screenplay), Joe Stillman (Screenplay), David N. Weiss (Screenplay)

Review Date: n/a
Written By: Clarkey
Rating: 7/10

THE PLOT:
The film picks up right where the first movie ended... Shrek and Fiona return from their honeymoon to find a letter from Fiona's parents inviting the newlyweds over for dinner. The only problem is that they have no idea that their daughter is now an ogre.

THE REVIEW:
It is a rarity nowadays that a sequel will be good and Shrek 2 is one of those rarities. It was equally as good as the original. Only a few sequels are as good as the original or even better. The Godfather Part 2 and Terminator 2: Judgment Day are the two main ones that come to mind.

All the main characters were back with the same actors voicing them, Shrek (Mike Myers), Princess Fiona (Cameron Diaz) and Donkey (Eddie Murphy). And they kept them as funny as they were in the original. But a lot of new characters come into the movie as well, including Fiona’s parents, voiced by the ever-funny John Cleese and Julie Andrews, both were great. I especially liked the King’s eating duel with Shrek. Jennifer Saunders provided the voice for the fairy godmother, who has a nasty side to her and Rupert Everett provided the voice for the “real” Prince Charming. All were good, but the movie belonged to Antonio Banderas’ character, Puss in Boots. No character in a movie has ever stolen the spotlight than his lovable cat. He was cracking one-liners throughout the movie and his sad “puppy” face was priceless.

The animation was just as good as the original and they actually had to do some more with the new setting, new characters and they went into a bit more detail. The script was just as original as the first one, spoofing numerous of movies and it also threw a couple of twists in. And let’s not forget the direction, which was good, as well.

I didn’t like the running time. It’s way too short and it seems a lot shorter, like an hour. I’m sure they could’ve made it a bit longer. And the singing and dancing at the end was nowhere near the quality of the first one.

And there were a couple of times where it got a little too immature for my taste, but after all it is a kid’s movie first off. Overall, Shrek 2 is a rare sequel that lives up to the original.

THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW

2005-02-12T12:24:00.000-05:00

Cast: Dennis Quaid, Jake Gyllenhaal, Emmy Rossum, Ian Holm, Dash Mihok...
Director: Roland Emmerich
Writer: Roland Emmerich, Jeffrey Nachmanoff

Review Date: 06/03/04
Written By: Suj
Rating: 4/10

THE PLOT:
The entire northern hemisphere is under the hold of mother nature. While climatologist Jack Hall must head new york to save his son...

THE REVIEW:
This is a Roland Emmerich movie filled with all his trademarks, think Independence day but instead of aliens we have mother nature. Since this is a Emmerich movie I did enjoy all the special effects which led to the destruction and mayhem that the cities featured endured and I also enjoyed the whole preaching to the government aspect about what is to come if we don't protect our planet.

Another plus this film had was its humour with a few laughs coming from Gyllenhaal and Mihtok also the funniest moment involves the irony of Mexico closing its borders to stop the invasion of Americans. Aside from what I just said above and the performance of Dennis Quaid (minus one aspect of his character, which I’ll get to below) and the presence of Emmy Rossum, that’s all the good this movie has.

Now lets get the skin and bones of the movie that made it such a disappointment. For starters most of the characters are just utterly stupid and or pathetic stereotypes who are made even more stupid by the words coming out of their mouths thanks to the stupid script and yup I said stupid four times in this sentence, make that four.

And what's up Dennis Quaid he walks from Washington, D.C. to New York City and its said he's done this before, but has he done it in the worst weather in known history? This whole trek is just stupid (there’s that word again)

Some other places where this movie falls is in its sentimental storytelling. They introduce a young cancer patient solely to have him trapped at the hospital during the evacuation. Another is the whole I-like-her-but-I-don’t-know-if-she-likes-me relationship between Rossum and Gyllenhaal’s character and when I saw this I was pondering whether or not I was watching a disaster movie or a Freddie Prince Jr movie? Lastly there wasn't enough development to grater establish the father-son relationship between Quaid and Gyllenhaal, so that angle didn't really work for me. Its all just an obvious ploy to toy with the viewer's emotions.

Also there are some really ridiculous subplots in this movie. There's one involving Gyllenhaal and company getting medicine from a boat for Rossum character and when getting said medicine they are attacked by rabid CGI wolves. Upon fighting off the wolves and escaping a wave of blistering cold, the reason for them doing so is never mentioned again, which makes it obvious how unnecessary it was in the first place. Also The subplot with Ian Holm at the British weather station is conveniently forgotten. There also seems to be little point to the Los Angeles twister sequence, since the city has absolutely no importance to the story and it makes little sense once it's established that its well into the weather "safe zone".

Now lets get to the ending where we have most of the characters and the government types throughout the movie bitch and moan how there’s nothing they can do to prevent this disaster, so when the mother nature comes and goes, it's very anti-climatic. There are no real heroes in the movie and trying to create a happy ending from the fact that a few people survived in a city of millions is stupid.

When I first saw the trailer for this movie I was really blown away, but now after witnessing the full movie from beginning to end all I can say is that it was a big disappointment as it felt more like a bad tv movie then THE disaster movie to end all disaster movies that many people made it out to be.

MAN ON FIRE

2005-02-12T12:22:00.000-05:00

Cast: Denzel Washington, Dakota Fanning, Christopher Walken, Radha Mitchell...
Director: Tony Scott
Writer: Brian Helgeland (screenplay), A.J. Quinnell (Novel)

Review Date: 05/11/04
Written By: Clarkey
Rating: 7/10

THE PLOT:
A wave of kidnappings has swept through Mexico, feeding a growing sense of panic among its wealthier citizens, especially parents. In one six-day period, there were twenty-four abductions, leading many to hire bodyguards for their children. Into this world enters John Creasy, a burned-out ex-CIA operative/assassin, who has given up on life. Creasy's friend Rayburn brings him to Mexico City to be a bodyguard to nine-year-old Pita Ramos, daughter of industrialist Samuel Ramos and his wife Lisa. Creasy is not interested in being a bodyguard, especially to a youngster, but for lack of something better to do, he accepts the assignment. Creasy barely tolerates the precocious child and her pestering questions about him and his life. But slowly, she chips away at his seemingly impenetrable exterior, his defenses drop, and he opens up to her. Creasy's new-found purpose in life is shattered when Pita is kidnapped. Despite being mortally wounded during the kidnapping, he vows to kill anyone involved in or profiting from the kidnapping. And no one can stop him.

THE REVIEW:
Revenge theme movies seemed to be on the rise recently, starting with Tarrantio’s amazing Kill Bill, the disappointing Punisher and now Tony Scott’s Man on Fire. This was the one that surprised me quite a bit. It is a very stylish and cool looking movie.

Denzel Washington once again does it. You think that it’s Creasy and not Denzel on scene and that is a rarity nowadays. I swear this man cannot be in a bad movie, which is another rarity nowadays. Christopher the man Walken steps away from being in bad movies (Kangaroo Jack, Envy, etc.) and is back to his normal self. And the 10-year-old rising star, Dakota Fanning is good as Pita. Radha Mitchell plays Pita’s mom with great passion and looks smokin. One major problem that I had with the movie was Marc Anthony playing Pita’s dad. He should stick with singing. He stuck out of a great cast really bad and it was obvious that he didn’t belong. But for the most part, the cast was great.

Tony Scott is an awesome direction and most of his movies are personal favs of mine, (Top Gun, Days of Thunder, Spy Game, etc.). He does it again with Man on Fire. Scott makes this movie look awesome with unique shots and the way that the subtitles are put on the screen is original. The violence in this movie is ranked up there with Bride’s fight with the Crazy 88’s. It is a violent movie, but action fans you have to wait till the last half of the movie before you see any.

Brian Helgeland wrote a good script based on the A.J. Quinnell. However, I was not a fan of the ending. It was disappointing in comparison to the action filled second half of the movie. Also, the running time, which was a 150 minutes, was a little too long. But besides these problems, it was a very enjoyable movie that surprised me that I like so much.

ENVY

2005-02-12T12:20:00.000-05:00

Cast: Ben Stiller, Jack Black, Christopher Walken, Rachel Weisz, Amy Poehler...
Director: Barry Levinson
Writer: Steve Adams

Review Date: 05/05/04
Written By: Clarkey
Rating: 3/10

THE PLOT:
Ben Stiller and Jack Black star as Tim and Nick, best friends, neighbors and co-workers, whose equal footing is suddenly tripped up when one of Nick's harebrained get-rich-quick schemes actually succeeds: Vapoorizer, a spray that literally makes dog poop, or any other kind for that matter, evaporate into thin air -- to where exactly is anyone's guess. Tim, who had scoffed at Nick's idea and passed on an opportunity to get in on the deal, can only watch as Nick's fortune -- and Tim's own envy -- grow to equally outrageous proportions. When the flames of jealousy are fanned by an oddball drifter (Walken) who imposes himself into the situation, Tim's life careens wildly out of control ... taking Nick's with it.

THE REVIEW:
I knew that this movie wasn’t going to be anything special. Mainly because it has been on the shelf since 2002. But I thought that it could be okay with comedic stars as Jack Black and Ben Stiller, lovely ladies in Rachael Weisz and Amy Poehler and directed by Barry Levinson. And even the man Christopher Walken was it. It should have been a good comedy. But it was far from it.

First off, this wasn’t a comedy. The laughs were few and far between. Also, the majority of funny parts you see in the trailer. It felt more like a very unsatisfying drama with a very weak story. Not only is it unfunny, it is very boring. I wanted to leave the theatre a couple of times and many times I caught myself twirling my thumbs. I was expecting a lot more in the comedy portion of this movie and it was truly disappointing.

Ben Stiller has publicly stated that this movie sucked and that was one of the reasons that it was put on the shelf. He wasn’t his usual self and it is one of his worst movies. Even though, there are only a few good Ben Stiller movies in my opinion. My biggest regret was to see Christopher Walken and Jack Black in it. Walken has picked better movies since he was in the shitty ass Kangaroo Jack. As for Black, he tried hard to save the movie, but he didn’t get too much camera time. The movie is pretty much about Ben Stiller’s character. The wives of the two leading characters were alright and looked pretty good at times. Barry Levinson started out on the right foot with a cool looking opening credits, but it just went downhill from there. Steve Adams wrote a unfunny script and Barry didn’t have too much to work with.

If you have any desire to see this movie, wait till video. Which will probably be only 2 or 3 months. Don’t waste your money in theatres. Go see Kill Bill Vol. 2, Jersey Girl, The Girl Next Door or even The Punisher instead of this.

STARSKY AND HUTCH

2005-02-12T12:15:00.000-05:00

Cast: Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Vince Vaughan, Jason Batemen, Carmen Electra, Amy Smart, Snoop Dogg...
Director: Todd Phillips
Writer: Todd Phillips, Scot Armstrong...

Review Date: 03/26/04
Written By: Suj
Rating: 6/10

THE PLOT:
Two streetwise cops bust criminals in their red-and-white Ford Torino with the help of police snitch called Huggy Bear.

THE REVIEW:
This film is a truly funny and overall a good time had by all. Todd Phillips, the cat who unleashed to the world the greatness of both "Road Trip" and "Old School" does well in this effort especially the decision to the retro 70s style flick instead of adapting to modern times. Stiller and Wilson are golden and its always going to be a good time when their in movie together. Vince Vaughn always brings the goods and does so here as the villainess Reese Feldman also kudos to his sidekick played by the 80s sitcom star Jason Bateman. Snoop Dogg, well its Snoop Dogg what more can I say? The funniest of all would have to be the appearance of Will Ferrel and the whole jail house sequence. Actually theirs a lot funny scenes which I can't really recall at this moment as I watched the movie about three weeks ago and I’m having trouble remembering since I’ve seen dozens of movie since then. But theirs one scene I do recall that exuded extreme laughter and made me salivate for the camera to pan down as the scene involved Playboy Playmate extrodinar Brande Roderick.

The best aspect of the film is the comedic dynamic between Owen Wilson and Ben Stiller, its just funny stuff. Also the overall look of the film, like I said the whole 70s retro vibe works well. I could have done without the whole homosexual undertones and they could have put more of Carmen and Amy, I was expecting a little more TNA, hopefully their on the DVD extras.

In the end if your looking for some laughs I suggest you check this film out.

ETERNAL SUNSHINEOF THE SPOTLESS MIND

2005-02-12T12:12:00.000-05:00

Cast: Jim Carrey, Kate Winslet, Kristen Dunst, Elijah Wood, Tom Wilkinson, Mark Ruffalo...
Director: Michel Gondry
Writer: Charlie Kaufman

Review Date: 03/25/04
Written By: Suj
Rating: 10/10

THE PLOT:
This is the story of a guy named Joel who discovers that his long-time girlfriend, Clementine has undergone a psychiatrist's experimental procedure in which all of her memory of Joel is removed, after the couple has tried for years to get their relationship working fluidly. Frustrated by the idea of still being in love with a woman who doesn't remember their time together, Joel agrees to undergo the procedure as well, to erase his memories of Clementine. The film, which takes place mostly within Joel's mind, follows his memories of Clementine backwards in time as each recent memory is replaced, and the procedure then goes on to the previous one, which is likewise seen, and then erased. Once the process starts, however, Joel realizes he doesn't really want to forget Clementine, so he starts smuggling her away into parts of his memory where she doesn't belong which alters other things about his memories as well...

THE REVIEW:
When you go into this film don't expect to see your typical romantic comedy that we’ve all been a costumed to. You won't be seeing Jim Carrey all funny-faced and talking about his women troubles with his one-liner sidekick and you won't be seeing Kate Winslet using sperm has hair gel. Instead you'll have a movie that focuses on the characters and its story rather then the comedic situations they get into.

The film begins with Joel Barish (Carrey) recalling his life, his failing relationship with girlfriend Naomi and his daily thoughts, all of which are said through the enjoyable facet of voice over as we watch Joel heading off to work. While he waits for a train he suddenly develops an impulse to catch another, a train heading to Montauk. Its seems he was drawn to this destination for some reason, maybe it’s the same reason Clementine Kruczynsk (Winslet) is there. They meet while on a train back to the city and its clear to see that both have an unexplained connection. From there we hit the opening credits and ready ourselves for an dazzling story which will have an explanation for that exuding connection between Joel and Clem.

This movie is absolutely brilliant beyond words. Charlie Kaufman is indeed a twisted, unique, extraordinary writer and no one in Hollywood can write like this cat. All of the movies that have the prestige "Written By" credit above his name have shown his talent of creating concepts that no other person can conceive through extremely well-written scripts that are filled with unexpected laughs and unexpected emotion. "Eternal Sunshine..." is the best of them all.

Now the director Michel Gondry whom is most know for his music videos (White Stripes, RadioHead, and Beck among others) has taken this story and truly envisioned it to the max. With the help of Cinematographer Ellen Kuras, Gondry manipulates the screen with gorgeous effects especially a sequence involving a kitchen where Carrey relives a childhood memory. He also pushes his actors to thrive for their peek and it shows.

Jim Carrey is at his best, forget the funny faces that he's made his career with its this role his acting talents truly shine. He plays Joel with a sense of hindered emotion controlled by the sadness that grows within until he realizes that love is what keeps him going. Kate Winslet is indeed a great actress and electrifies as the happy-go-lucky-multi-coloured starlet with heartfelt vulnerability. Elijah Wood steps away from deeps of Mount Doom and plays a doctors assistant dealing with thoughts of leading another man's life to unexpected laughs. The lovely Kirsten Dunst is a secretary whom tingles an aura of shaken dignity to her characters betrayed trust into Tom Wilkinson dark gloominess of Doctor Mierzwiak. And you can’t forget the great Mark Ruffalo as the doctors technician where he once again finds a dramatic subtlety in the nooks of comedy.

The focus of the movie is in the on-goings of Joel's head. And it's here that Kaufman and Gondry thrive their most imaginative and thoughtful conundrums. As Joel fights to hold on to the memories of his love, Kaufman and Gondry also fight but with the concept of memory itself and how a single moment can take over our lives. While looking back, this movie clearly demonstrates the strength of a script and how a story is more important then the calamities of a films surroundings.

DAWN OF THE DEAD

2005-02-12T12:09:00.000-05:00

Cast: Sarah Polley, Ving Rhames, Mekhi Phifer, Jake Webber...
Director: Zack Snyder
Writer: James Gunn

Review Date: 03/24/04
Written By: Clarkey
Rating: 5/10

THE PLOT:
The survivors of a worldwide plague that is producing the flesh-hungry undead, take refuge in a mega shopping mall.

THE REVIEW:
Why must people ruin classics with remakes? The original Dawn of the Dead was released back in 1978 and it was remade just this year. And like many other remakes, it wasn’t good and dragged a good movie reputation through the mud. Now I haven’t seen the original, but I’ve heard that it’s a great movie and after seeing the remake I could put money on it to be better than this one.

I did love how the movie looked. It looked pretty cool. Especially some of the shots that Zack Snyder used. He did a good job behind the camera, but he didn’t have much to work with. Another highlight of this movie was the gore, which was great and some of the best gore I’ve seen in a horror movie since I saw Cabin Fever.

The acting wasn’t anything special, mainly because it was a horror movie, not a drama. However, there were a couple dramatic moments that I personally didn’t take seriously because they actors didn’t do a good job and the dialogue was kind of stupid. Also, the story wasn’t anything special, and from what I’ve heard nothing like the original. James Gunn tried to make a new version of a classic and failed to come anywhere close to George A. Romero’s original. There were quite a few survivors and you couldn’t get into many of the subplots and many of them were underdeveloped.

I didn’t completely hate this movie, but I could’ve waited for video for sure.

MONA LISA SMILE

2005-02-12T12:03:00.000-05:00

Cast: Julia Roberts, Kristen Dunst, Julia Stiles, Maggie Gyllenhaal...
Director: Mike Newell
Writer: Lawrence Konner, Mark Rosenthal

Review Date: 03/24/04
Written By: Clarkey
Rating: 3/10

THE PLOT:
Set in 1953, Katherine Watson (Roberts) is a free-spirited graduate of UCLA who accepts a teaching post at Wellesley College, a women-only school where the students are torn between the repressive mores of the time and their longing for intellectual freedom.

THE REVIEW:
I knew I wasn’t going to like this movie, but I still gave it a shot. I thought it might be all right. Boy, was I wrong. This movie sucked. It was very disappointing to see some promising young ladies and one of Hollywood’s leading ladies in this movie. When you got a promising cast, you think that the acting would be the best part of the movie.

This wasn’t the case in this movie. The acting was only mediocre. Julia Roberts wasn’t her usual self with one of her worse performances. The three main young ladies (Kristen Dunst, Julia Stiles and Maggie Gyllenhaal) were also mediocre. The rest of the cast was okay in the few scenes that they had. A highlight was seeing Topher Grace (a.k.a. Eric Foreman) playing Julia Stile’s finance.

The story was petty slow and boring. And the two-hour running is more than a tad too long. The dialogue wasn’t anything special either. Lawrence Konner and Mark Rosenthal could’ve done a better job. The director of this mess was Mike Newell, who didn’t do anything spectacular, let alone good. But he didn’t have much to work, but he also could’ve done a better job.

One good aspect of the movie was the authentic of the location and costume; you thought that you were back in the 50s. That, the beauty of the three young leads and the couple scenes with funnyman Foreman saved this movie from receiving an even lower rating. This movie was one of the more disappointing movies of the year, it had some good potential, but it sadly fell right on its face.

SECRET WINDOW

2005-02-12T11:46:00.000-05:00

Cast: Johnny Depp, John Turturro, Maria Bello...
Director: David Koepp
Writer: Stephen King (Novel), David Koepp

Review Date: n/a
Written By: Clarkey
Rating: 6/10

THE PLOT:
Mort Rainey (Depp), a writer just coming off of a troublesome divorce with his ex-wife, Amy (Bello), finds himself stalked at his remote lake house by a psychotic stranger (Turturro) who claims Mort stole his best story idea (changing just the ending)

THE REVIEW:
It seems like every couple of months, there is another Stephen King book that has been adapted into a movie. Secret Window is based on the novel Secret Window, Secret Garden by none other than King. I don’t hate the man, he is one of the best writers ever and I respect him, but come on, do we really have to make every single one of his stories a movie. The story was good, but I kind of figured out the ending halfway through and lost interest in it. There is an obvious twist in the movie that will take most by surprise, but for some moviebuffs, such as myself, knew what was coming.

As for the acting, Johnny Depp is one of my new favourite actors and I was rooting for him at the Oscars. He, once again, does one hell of a job playing Mort Rainey. The movie is solely based on him and he has many scenes were he is by his lonesome. The other John (Turturro) also does a great job as Shooter, the man who supposedly stole Mort’s story. He does a great job creeping you out with his eeriness. He is scary, while being polite at the same time and it works awesome. As for, the rest of the cast, they were decent, but like I said before, the movie is all about Mort and his troubles with Shooter. So they don’t too many scenes.

The directing was great, too. David Koepp does a wonderful job behind the camera. Some of the angles of shots are brilliant and I applaud him for a job well done. He also does a decent job with adapting the King’s story into a screenplay. Like I said before, it was kind of predictable to some people, but it had its moments. I especially liked the estranged divorce that Mort is going through.

I didn’t mind this movie, the acting was great, the direction was just as great, but it was the story that I had problems with, (as already mentioned). The predictably of the story made me lose interest in the movie. This is definitely a one-time movie for most people, especially once you find out the ending. The first half was enjoyable, but the ending didn’t add up to the first half, unfortunately. I recommend this movie to fans of Johnny Depp and it is a great date movie, too.

THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST

2005-02-12T11:42:00.000-05:00

Cast: James Caviezel, Maia Morgenstern, Monica Bellucci...
Director: Mel Gibson
Writer: Benedict Fitzgerald, Mel Gibson

Review Date: n/a
Written By: Clarkey
Rating: 7/10

THE PLOT:
The Passion of The Christ focuses on the last twelve hours of Jesus of Nazareth's life. The film begins in the Garden of Olives where Jesus has gone to pray after sitting the Last Supper. Jesus must resist the temptations of Satan. Betrayed by Judas Iscariot, Jesus is then arrested and taken within the city walls of Jerusalem where leaders of the Pharisees confront him with accusations of blasphemy and his trial results in a condemnation to death.

THE REVIEW:
Every so often, there comes a movie that is extremely controversial. Right now, it’s Mel Gibson’s new movie, The Passion of the Christ. The controversy is coming mainly from the Jewish community; they believe that the movie is Anti-Semitic. They feel the Jews in the film were portrayed as very evil. This controversy has led to a huge profit at the box office, it is currently at 295 million dollars and it keeps raking in the cash. It’s into its fourth week and it still made almost 20 million over the weekend. Now, I wouldn’t call myself a moviebuff, if I didn’t see it.

As for the actually movie, it was a good one. Mel Gibson did unbelievably amazing bringing this movie to life. His direction was top notch as was his vision. He is one of the better filmmakers out there, Braveheart and now this. Wow. He also co-wrote the screenplay and it was great. I especially liked the flashbacks. It showed us that Jesus was just as human as a god. Though many people will disagree with me, I thought that the use of subtitles and speaking the language of that time was a smart movie it made it feel authentic. Gibson is known for his gory violence in Braveheart, but he took it to another level in Passion. The majority of the violence shown is realistic violence, such as the nails going through a hand or feet. Once again, it added to the authentic of the film and was another smart move. I have to give a standing ovation to Mel Gibson.

James Caviezel does a great job as Jesus, but most of the movie, you won’t recognize him because he is so bloody from the torture that he receives on the way to his crucifixion. It is amazing that he never said one English word throughout the movie. The rest of the cast does a good job giving Caviezel great support, especially Maia Morgenstern who played Mary, Jesus’ mother. The only actor or actress that you would know is Monica Bellucci who was decent as Magdalene.

I had a problem with the character of Satan. He only had a couple of scenes and he seemed out of place. Especially when he carried a demon midget in one scene. It came in from out in right field and seemed very unnecessary. Also, the scene that the kids attacked Judas seemed very unnecessary and did little to main storyline.

As for the controversy and Anti-Semitic protest, I would say first, calm down. Second, watch the movie and see that the Jews did nothing to Jesus in comparison to what the Romans did to him. They beat him within an inch of his life, tortured him some more and then made him carry his own cross to his crucifixion. Third, it is in your scripture that you don’t believe that Jesus was the Messiah and Mel Gibson just portrays that on screen. Also, the majority of the story is taken right from the Scriptures.

All in all, I enjoyed this movie, just not as much as many critics and audiences did. This movie isn’t for the faint of heart. Literally, apparently a lady in the United States died of a heart attack while watching this movie. I’ll probably watch it again when it comes out on DVD and will see how it holds up. Until then, I’ll keep telling people about this movie and if you are one of the few who hasn’t seen this movie go out and see it. Everyone should see a controversial movie and have an opinion on it.

THE BIG BOUNCE

2005-02-12T11:40:00.000-05:00

Cast: Owen Wilson, Morgan Freeman, Sara Foster...
Director: George Armitage
Writer: Elmore Leonard (Novel), Sebastian Gutierrez (Screenplay)

Review Date: n/a
Written By: Clarkey
Rating: 3/10

THE PLOT:
Surfer/drifter/con man Jack Ryan (Wilson) makes his way to Hawaii and lands a job caring for a Walter Crewes (Freeman), a judge on the island. His new gig leads to an involvement with a beautiful, enterprising woman (Foster), who's really the lover of a real estate tycoon (Sinise) - a shady businessman and longtime rival of Judge Crewes. Ryan, naturally, has to choose between the woman, the money, or the honorable path.

THE REVIEW:
I didn’t have much expectation for this movie and was going to wait for video, but I stumbled across a free movie pass. The pass could only be used for certain movies, so my list was limited because I didn’t want to see a movie that I had already seen. It was ultimately The Big Bounce or You Got Served. I knew I was going to despise You Got Served, so I decided to see if The Big Bounce was watchable. Let me tell you, it isn’t.

The movie sucked a big one and it was disappointing to see an all-star cast in this piece of shit. Morgan Freeman usually picks good movies to be in, but made a big mistake putting himself into this god-awful mess. It is almost as bad as when he had a small part in Guilty by Association, my worse of movie of the 2003. Charlie Sheen isn’t anything special anymore, so I didn’t give it another thought when he turned up. But I was disappointed in Gary Sinise and Vinnie Jones who were also in it. The main character is Jack Ryan, played by Owen Wilson. I’ve never been a fan of his; he was at one of his lowest as the star of this shitty ass movie. The one highlight of the movie was newcomer Sara Foster, who was very easy on the eyes, especially since the majority of her scenes she is in a bikini.

The direction wasn’t anything special. George Armitage did an okay job. But he didn’t have much to work with. The screenplay tried way too hard with the twist and turns and the acting wasn’t anything special either. He did do a great job making the movie look good, geographically, but it isn’t hard to make Hawaii look good.

This was a waste of my time. And I don’t think anyone will like this movie. Maybe Owen Wilson fans might, but I doubt it. He’s not meant to be a leading actor. He is all right as a sidekick or supporting actor and he should stick to that. Everybody should save their money and wait till this movie is on cable TV before watching it.

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN

2005-02-12T11:27:00.000-05:00

Cast: Johnny Depp Geoffrey Rush, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley...
Director: Gore Verbinski
Writer: Ted Elliot, Terry Rossio

Review Date: n/a
Written By: Clarkey
Rating: 8/10

THE PLOT:
Pirates of the Caribbean is a sweeping action-adventure story set in an era when villainous pirates scavenged the Caribbean seas. This roller coaster tale teams a young man, Will Turner, with an unlikely ally in rogue pirate Jack Sparrow. Together, they must battle a band of the world's most treacherous pirates, led by the cursed Captain Barbossa, in order to save Elizabeth, the love of Will's life, as well as recover the lost treasure that Jack seeks. Against improbable odds, they race towards a thrilling, climactic confrontation on the mysterious Isla de Muerta. Clashing their swords in fierce mortal combat, Will and Jack attempt to recapture The Black Pearl ship, save the British navy, and relinquish a fortune in forbidden treasure thereby lifting the curse of the Pirates of the Caribbean.

THE REVIEW:
I went into this movie not knowing too much about it. Mainly because the trailer didn’t give away too much of the story, which is a rarity nowadays. Usually trailers ruin the movie for you. I came out of the theatre amazed. It was the best adventure movie in years. It definitely isn’t your average Disney movie, with a lot violence more violence than in a normal Disney movie.

Johnny Depp was perfectly cast as Captain Jack Sparrow. He made the movie for me and I was glad to see that the Academy considered his performance and I loved how he was nominated. I was rooting for him, though I kind of knew that Sean Penn would take it. Geoffrey Rush was great as Barbossa, (the bad guy). Orlando Bloom continues to pick good movies to be taking part in. Lord of the Rings, Black Hawk Down and now Pirates. Impressive. And let’s not forgot about a personal fav. Keira Knightley, who plays Bloom’s love interest. She does a good job and lights up the screen with her beauty.

Gore Verbinski does a great directing this great cast. Some of the shots and angles are some of the better ones of the year. He makes the atmosphere eerie and haunting and he does it amazingly, too. The writers should get some of the praise, too. Ted Elliot and Terry Rossio wrote an original story in an area that there have been many movies, stories, etc., pirates and ghosts. And some of the dialogue that they gave to Captain Jack Sparrow is priceless. My personal fav, “But why is the rum gone?”

They have already announced a sequel and I’m all for it. I hope that it’s as great as this one. This is one of the better Disney movies in recent years, but it may scary some of the little ones, but parents will also enjoy some of the older humor in it. This movie sits at number 10 on my top 10 movies of 2003.

BEND IT LIKE BECKHAM

2005-02-12T11:24:00.000-05:00

Cast: Parminder K. Nagra, Keira Knightley, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers...
Director: Gurinder Chadha
Writer: Gurinder Chadha, Paul Mayeda Berges

Review Date: n/a
Written By: Clarkey
Rating: 7/10

THE PLOT:
A comedy about bending the rules to reach your goal, Bend It Like Beckham explores the world of women's football, from kick-about in the park to free kicks in the Final. Set in Hounslow, West London and Hamburg, the film follows two 18 year olds with their hearts set on a future in professional soccer. Heart-stopping talent doesn't seem to be enough when your parents want you to hang up your football boots, find a nice boyfriend and learn to cook the perfect chapatti.

THE REVIEW:
There aren’t many soccer movies, (Mean Machine, There’s Only One Jimmy Grimble, and The Big Green come to mind), so when there’s a new soccer movie released, I gotta see it. That was the case for Bend it Like Beckham. It wasn’t playing at a theatre near me, so I had to travel to see it and it was definitely worth the travel. It isn’t like any of the other football movies for 2 reasons: 1) it starred girls playing soccer and 2) it wasn’t all about soccer. But that didn’t stop it for being a good-hearted comedy.

The leading lady in this movie was Parminder K. Nagra who plays Jess Bhamra. This was her first lead role and she did one hell of a job. She gets great support from the amazingly beautiful Keira, who plays her best friend, Jules. On a sidenote, this was the first time I laid on eyes her actual beauty; Episode 1 doesn’t count because she had on too much make up. Jonathan Rhys-Meyers does a great job as the young coach of the all girl teams and the love interest of Jess. The parents of both girls add some great comedic scenes as well as the rest of Jess’s family.

The story was a good one, though kind of predictable, it was nice family movie. It did have quite a lot of subplots. Such as the marriage of Jess’s older sister, some romance, some discrimination, and parents trying to get their girls to become ladies (not footballers). This isn’t a laugh out loud, but there are several chuckles throughout the movie. Gurinder Chadha and Paul Mayeda Berges did a great job on the screenplay.

Gurinder Chadha also did a great job directing. The soccer scenes were great and it was nice to see girls playing soccer, instead of sweating men. Though most of the soccer scenes are practices, not too many games, they still look great. She also did a great job making the Hindu heritage and customs look authentic.

Though this movie is more of chick flick than a soccer movie, it is still a good movie that I recommend you check out.

THE HOLE

2005-02-12T11:21:00.000-05:00

Cast: Keira Knightley, Desmond Harrington, Thora Birch, Daniel Brocklebank...
Director: Nick Hamm
Writer: Guy Butt (novel), David Wagner, Ben Court (screenplay)

Review Date: n/a
Written By: Clarkey
Rating: 7/10

THE PLOT:
A modern thriller set in a British private school. Based on the best selling cult novel by Guy Burt, 'After The Hole' takes us on a disturbing roller coaster ride where "truth" and "fiction" become commodities in a bizarre adolescent prank, which goes wrong.

THE REVIEW:
Not many people have seen this movie, or even heard of it. But when I heard that Keira Knightley was in it, I looked around for it and found it in the 7-day rental section. I didn’t know what to expect from it.

It is a great horror thriller with a nice twist that I didn’t really see coming. The acting was good with a solid cast. Thora Birch, Keira Knightley, Desmond Harrington and Daniel Brocklebank did a great job in their roles. Thora Birch plays Elizabeth Dunn, the main character, and gives another American Beauty like performance. Keira was great as the other girl who gets trapped and the boys do a solid job. However, this movie isn’t about the acting, it about the story.

The story was the best part of this movie. Ben Court did a wonderful job adapting Guy Burt’s novel. I haven’t read the novel, but I am looking for it now. It is really cool. As already mentioned the twist is a great awesome and it works perfectly in the movie. Nick Hamm does a solid job directing this solid cast and bringing the awesome story to life.

This is an underrated movie and I recommend that you keep it in mind when you’re looking for an older movie to watch.